I read something interesting last week. Bonobos - a monkey species - have sexual contact with one another to strengthen social bonds. Nearly all Bonobos show bisexual behavior, so they also engage in same sex sexual contact. Now, I don't think that this necessarily has to mean that all Bonobos are bisexual. So.. I started to wonder why humans don't seem to have a lot of sexual contact to strengthen social bonds? I mean, I am personally open to the idea (I must admit that I might be a little bit bisexual, but I feel predominantly sexually attracted to the same sex), but I feel like a lot of people who categorize themselves as straight or gay don't even consider having sexual contact with their non preferred sex for sexual release and/or to get closer to non preferred sex members. I feel like labeling your sexuality is restrictive, because there are norms and expectations that surround sexual behavior attached to labels: a straight person is expected to only engage in and seek out sexual behavior with the opposite sex for example. A gay person is expected to only engage in and seek out sexual behavior with the same sex because they are supposed to only feel a strong sexual urge for the body of that sex. The norms and expectations that are attached to a certain sexuality label might influence the way people think about their sexuality and might also influence their sexual behavior as a consequence. So.. could it be that few people are inclined to have sexual contact to strengthen social bonds or simply for sexual release because having sexual contact to satisfy strong sexual urges for a body is considered to be the 'norm'? What are your thoughts on this? Are you open to the idea of having sexual contact with your non preferred sex members purely for sexual release or to strengthen your bond with them, or is that an absolute no no for you?
I think sex is ultimate form of pleasure for some people at least I think that having sex to strengthen social bonds shouldn't be a taboo amongst humans in my opinion.
I think its because humans are too smart and think too much. Our culture makes us attach a lot to sex, and then once we find our prefered gender we fixate on that. Social conditioning and your continual thoughts surrounding it will psychologically condition you into being pretty uncomfortable with this idea of bonding sex. I would not have sex with anyone just to bond with them. Just for sexual release seems possible. People do that one a fair amount.
Well, I'm not sure if you can draw very clear lines from bonobos to humans. After all, there is a few million year development difference between our species. Humans have other means for fostering social bonds other than sex. And even for bonobos the sex is not the only way. Finding flees from each others fur is one example. Could humans also use same sex sex for fostering social bonds? I don't know but I don't think so. The reason for this is that bonobos do not form permanent monogamous relationships that appears to be the norm for humans irrespective of culture. Because of human tendency to monogamy casual sex for the purpose of reducing societal tension and fostering bonds would create more disruption than reduce it. However, I do think that potential for bisexual behavior (not for the orientation) is much higher than most people think. Sex segregated institutions such as prisons and boarding schools see relatively wide spread homosexual behavior which ceases when sex from the opposite sex becomes available.
