What you google up dating advice online: Do you agree with a lot of the generalizations about each gender ....and all the tips that you're supposed to do to get a partner? I personally don't agree with a lot of it, because everyone is different. Whatever you read in a blog may not apply to you or relationship. Bring bisexual, I wonder just how helpful heterosexual dating tips are. I know some heterosexual women that snagged a guy by doing all of the rules, but it literally did nothing for me.
Some of the advice I found online but also on this forum helps me a LOT now I started dating 4 weeks ago. Of course, there is a lot of generalisation but things like subjects to talk about, don't over-do the date or how the other person might see things did help me.
Basic things like what you mentioned can be helpful. I should clarify about more specific dating tactics, such as hiding your emotions, pretending to be uninterested in a relationship (to make a man chase you more), or making statements on how all men/women think. I have also been told not to mention my bisexuality to anyone, because it will turn them off. Out of all the millions of people in the world, I'm sure there has to be someone that is not turned off by bisexual women. I'm sure there is some very good dating advice out there, but some of it may be destructive.
Haha, yeah, those tips.. I think that is for people who like the dating game and don't care how it will end up(as they will find someone else to start anyway). If you really like someone, nature will take control. Why pretend to be someone else? Might be waste of time as they will find out eventually. If I was bisexual I think I wouldn't mention it my first date but if I like the person I will definitely bring the subject up before the fourth date.
I agree. I would never mention my personal stuff on the first few dates. Trust needs to be there first, and then I can disclose. Pretending to be someone that I'm not hasn't worked for me, because I can't attract the right partner. When people gave me dating advice, they wanted me to be someone that I'm not.
If I were bisexual I would avoid mentioning it in the beginning to avoid being fetishized. I wouldn't want any guys to be into me because of my sexuality. I'm also worried they'll think everything with me is just casual. When I list myself as bi on dating sites guys tend to think I'll be okay with casual relationships. Since I'm not interested in dating guys right now I just call myself queer and no other label. I don't think most straight dating rules apply to dating women.
I agree, since you don't know who is lurking on casual sites. When people say "don't say you're bi", I think they mean "don't mention it ever, even if you're married." I had a heterosexual woman tell me, "guys can sense that you're also thinking about girls. It's an unconscious thing." Huh? How can you know a woman is bisexual by just looking at her? The heterosexual woman gave me the dating advice of "you need to stop liking women, if you want to marry a man." I have tried this advice, but you can't help who you are attracted to. My brain gets turned on by both genders. What's funny is that I had a straight man tell me, "you're not really bisexual. I just know." It's just hilarious when one person say, "men can tell that you're thinking about women by just looking at you" and then another person says, "you're straight. It's so obvious."
Dating advice books van be helpful. There's a fantastic book called Mate by Tucker Max cowritten with an evolutionary biologist - it's written for straight guys, but there are a lot of pearls of wisdom that applied to everyone. I learned a lot about myself as a partner and tecognized things I can be doing better. I think dating advice can be summarized as such: 1. Be your best: are you in shape, well groomed, do you "know a lot about a lot" or are you terribly culturally myopic? 2. Act your best: how are you manners? Listening skills, etc. 3. Take chances: if you don't let someone know you're interested, you'll miss 100% of potential dates. The worst someone can say is "no."
You just summed up my personal values. The dating advice that I received was to change all of this. As a woman, I think we might be told different things that are told to some men. For example, I was told that men are put off by women that show interest. I was told that men don't like women that are knowledgeable or that read a lot. I was once questioned for being "too girly" for liking to wear heels and makeup, and how I shouldn't "dress up" all the time. I also was told that my listening skills, tact and manners make me appear "too nice", and how I need to be more ruthless/talkative. After having received all of this advice, I just to want be myself. ---------- Post added 28th Mar 2016 at 11:38 AM ---------- I don't know if I should close this thread. It's kind of making me anxious and reminding me of all the bad dating advice that I have received, and felt forced into following. I was hoping that other men and women could relate to me, where they found conventional dating advice to be unhelpful.
I've never met a guy who was turned off by a bisexual female... In fact most guys I know would consider that a bonus... Anyways, there's only one thing I've found that works to find someone to date. Stop looking, and be yourself. Pretending to be someone else starts off the relationship with lies and deceit, which is no way to start a relationship. Looking for someone to date is... Not worth the effort. You'll find many more, and much better, prospects if you just let it happen.
It might depend on your age. Young people don't care. It was two 40-50 year old men that told me that men only see bisexual women are booty calls. Then, a 37 year old married hetero woman told me the same thing.
Maybe my family is just a bunch of lecherous losers lol, but my grandpa and my uncle both agree that, and I quote here, "lesbians are hot, and bi chicks are hotter".. My gramps is 82 and my uncle is 47. They went on at length, they paused their boxing match actually and I think they're now in a debate as to just HOW much more attractive a bi girl is than a lesbian or a straight girl.... I don't think it's an age thing, but even if it is I stand by what I said in my last post. Stop looking for Mr right, if you keep asking the horizon for that perfect person, you'll miss the perfect person standing right next to you. Be yourself, if you're smart be smart, if you're active and athletic be active and athletic. Guys interests are just as widely varied as gals. I know one guy who won't date a girl that's smart, because he likes to be in control. I know another guy who won't date a girl unless she can prove that she's smarter than he is because he's arrogant and tired of stupid people. I even know a guy who won't date at all, and instead has a long list of FWBs. Anything you do is going to be a turn off for some men, and a turn on for others, so just be yourself and find someone that's looking for YOU ---------- Post added 28th Mar 2016 at 02:31 PM ---------- Scanning* not asking
Uhh maybe I'm just open but I normally or have and will in the future tell guys I'm bi straight up. I don't know I have a different dating style and so far it hasn't been affective maybe I could take tips from y'all.
I agree. The problem with being a single woman that's comfortable in her own skin is that others may think "poor her, she needs help getting someone." It's amazing how random people just offer unsolicited advice on how to get a man. What I find interesting is that the most preachy people are the most unhappy. The one woman that ripped me to shreds on why I was single (I'm not too nice, too curvy, too girly, too bisexual) ironically was cheating on her husband for eight years with another married man! Yet, her Facebook makes her marriage look perfect. I would rather be single, than cheat/hurt someone like that. I think just being yourself works and letting things take time is the way to go. Some people find the right person when they are in their 30's or 40's. That's okay. As far as older men are concerned, I never was into them---so, I know I tend to be stereotypical and a bit aversive. Those two older men that criticized my bisexuality were repelling anyway.
Yeah, you know those meme things people like to post on their Facebook, the ones that say things like "don't forget how awesome you are!".... Yeah I've literally never seen things like that posted by someone who actually thought they were awesome. Think it's a similar thing here
