I have a question! When two guys are together, lets say you give your boyfriend a blowjob or something because you simply want to pleasure him, is it rude or unusual for him to not give you one afterwards? Or is it totally normal that sometimes you both don't get off at the same time? I'm really curious on this, I know there are situations where you could get each other off but I'm just wondering if there are common cases where you don't. :dry:
Reciprocation isn't always a given, no. And yes, this is ok so long as both parties are on the same page. Namely, if you are both aware and/or have communicated whether or not reciprocation is on the table. In order to avoid any sort of confusion, just communicate. If you are intimate enough to be sucking each other's dicks, you shouldn't have any qualms talking about what you want and how far you are willing to go. For some people, for instance, the act of giving a blowjob is fulfilling enough on it's own that they don't need nor require reciprocation every time it happens. Others may not find the act that enjoyable but will participate if "you get them in the mood" or if you have agreed it's gonna be a two-way street. Circumstances and personal preferences will vary, but ultimately (as usual) the key is communication. So long as you are clear with one another, this shouldn't be a cause for concern.
Sometimes one isn't in the mood to reciprocate (or give at all), or it could be their personal preference. I don't think you're obligated to every time, no.
I can only speak for myself, and say that it doesn't always need to be a two way street. I gave a really close friend of mine regular blowjobs for about 10 years and more often than not I wasn't expecting one in return. Both of us had girlfriends so whenever I sucked him or he sucked me it only because it felt really kinky. Years later I made a joke with a Thai friend who is a few years younger than me. WE had both been drinking and I jokingly asked him if he enjoys blowjobs. He said he'd never had one, so I asked him if he wants me to give him one. To my surprise he said yes, and I ended up blowing him on the side of the pool. I've been giving him regular blowjobs since then, about 4 or 5 years now, and while he also enjoys giving me blowjobs, it is usually me giving them to him. I realize that once he cums the urge is gone, and I don't want to make him feel as though he has to suck if he doesn't want to. Half the time I don't even want him suck anyway. I get my thrill just from sucking him and feeling him finish in my mouth. I am usually helping myself by that stage, and when I taste and/or feel him releasing, it is almost always enough to bump me over the edge as well. We both walk away feeling happy.
another theory is that if it is someone you have had repeated relations with, and he continues to not reciprocate, maybe he is dealing with his own shame and struggling with his sexuality?
It doesn't always have to be reciprocal. There are times when I come home from working a 4 to midnight shift and I'm totally stressed and my husband will get me off with the intent of relaxing me and putting me to sleep. I think the idea of strict reciprocity comes in when 2 guys are hooking up randomly and it's only about getting off. In a relationship, or even with FWBs, I think there's usually a desire to please the other person that takes over sometimes.
It doesn't have to be reciprocal. Each person has interests in doing or not at all. My first lover and I worked through do and don't with each other. Communicate and talk about it and keep simple. What you like and a partner likes might not be the same. Once talking about it we learned what the other likes and enjoyed. Oral was the biggest hangup. He felt that if I gave he should do back. Giving was an occasional thing for him in foreplay. A simple chat we understood that I was doing it because I loved doing it to him because I loved doing it. Not expecting anything in return. Then on a weekend spending the night would share and enjoy each other. To quote a friend. Foreplay is 24/7
I agree. If reciprocation is important to you then let your partner know, and if they are never willing to reciprocate, then you need to find a more suitable partner. I give a Thai friend of mine regular blowjobs and to be honest, it would not bother me at all if he never reciprocated. Sometimes he does, but most times he doesn't, mostly because he knows it doesn't really matter to me. On the upside, when he does reciprocate, I have the pleasure of knowing that he is doing it only because he is genuinely in the mood to do it. A lot of people say they give blowjobs because they like to please their partners. Maybe I am selfish, but to be honest, I give my friend blowjobs for my own pleasure rather than his pleasure.
Communication is important. If you both consent and don't reciprocate for whatever reason, then speak up if you want it. I don't think it's rude. If you want something during mutual sex, then ask.