straight jokes

well i made this one up myself:

Yo momma's so straight that she went to the wood store and they called her a plank!
(sorry i know it sucks but i tried...):icon_redf

 

How do you fit four straight guys at the same bar stool?

Sit a hot chick on it.

Haha, that's not very funny either, but this is hard!

 

Oooh, jokes..............not my cup of tea:rolleyes:

Though I liked xxAngelOnFirexx's and Steam Giant's joke

 

They made me laugh, so they're not that bad!!!:roflmao: :lol: :eusa_clap

 

This isn't exactly a joke but it's a funny saying that mocks certain intolerant straight folk:

"I don't mind straight people as long as they act gay in public."

 

Hehe love that! :icon_wink

 

I remember for an old episode of Will & Grace, when Grace kissed her boyfriend, Jack shouted:

"I've accepted that you're straight, but I don't know why you have to flaunt your lifestyle like this!"

:eusa_clap :lol:

 

Hahaha! ^^ Those were great, guys! I'm going to ask a friend of mine if he can come up with a couple for me. He knows a lot of bigoted jokes (which is odd, because he isn't), and might be able to cleverly convert a few gay jokes into straight (the one I posted above was originally a gay joke, likely one you've all heard).

 

OMG thats hilarious

 

:roflmao:

 

I love Will & Grace!

 

Uruguay is too far away from Earth for Will & Grace to be received here... lol.

 

I laughed so hard at the jokes I got a stomach ache. Awesome!

 

hahahaha, I love Will & Grace. It also reminds me of another Jack quote about straight people:

"politically I'm for it, but the actual act makes me sick."

 

This is my favorite, I just got it in an email

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing
in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...

Satan: "Why so glum?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.
You a drinking man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's
all we do, drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab,
and Fresca. We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more!
And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're
dead anyway."

Guy: "Gee that sounds great!"

Satan: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it!"

Satan: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest
cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get
cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"

Guy: "Wow...that's awesome!"

Satan: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do."

Satan: "Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want.
Craps,blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt,
it doesn't
matter, you're dead anyhow."

Guy: "Cool!"

Satan: "What about Drugs?"

Guy: "Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?"

Satan: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a
great bigbowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a
submarine.You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares."

Guy: "Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"

Satan: "You gay?"

Guy: "No..."

Satan: "Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough..."


Where did the Satan smilie go? I thought I saw one a while ago.

 

LOL! I'm not sure I'd categorize that as a straight joke, but I thought it was funny...

 

OMG!! I lol'ed and my dad looked at me funny!

 

lmfao that was good