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Old 17th Jun 2007, 08:15 AM   #1
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Default straight jokes

there are so many gay jokes out there. but what i want to know is if anyone knows any straight jokes?
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Old 17th Jun 2007, 09:39 AM   #2
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Default Re: straight jokes

well i made this one up myself:

Yo momma's so straight that she went to the wood store and they called her a plank!
(sorry i know it sucks but i tried...)
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Old 17th Jun 2007, 09:51 AM   #3
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Default Re: straight jokes

How do you fit four straight guys at the same bar stool?

Sit a hot chick on it.

Haha, that's not very funny either, but this is hard!
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Old 17th Jun 2007, 10:00 AM   #4
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Default Re: straight jokes

Oooh, jokes..............not my cup of tea

Though I liked xxAngelOnFirexx's and Steam Giant's joke
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Old 17th Jun 2007, 06:13 PM   #5
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Default Re: straight jokes

They made me laugh, so they're not that bad!!!
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Old 17th Jun 2007, 11:56 PM   #6
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Default Re: straight jokes

This isn't exactly a joke but it's a funny saying that mocks certain intolerant straight folk:

"I don't mind straight people as long as they act gay in public."
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Old 18th Jun 2007, 05:34 AM   #7
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Default Re: straight jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by joeyconnick View Post
This isn't exactly a joke but it's a funny saying that mocks certain intolerant straight folk:

"I don't mind straight people as long as they act gay in public."
Hehe love that!
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Old 18th Jun 2007, 06:35 AM   #8
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Default Re: straight jokes

I remember for an old episode of Will & Grace, when Grace kissed her boyfriend, Jack shouted:

"I've accepted that you're straight, but I don't know why you have to flaunt your lifestyle like this!"

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Old 18th Jun 2007, 07:17 AM   #9
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Default Re: straight jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Negasta View Post
I remember for an old episode of Will & Grace, when Grace kissed her boyfriend, Jack shouted:

"I've accepted that you're straight, but I don't know why you have to flaunt your lifestyle like this!"

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Old 18th Jun 2007, 09:03 AM   #10
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Default Re: straight jokes

Hahaha! ^^ Those were great, guys! I'm going to ask a friend of mine if he can come up with a couple for me. He knows a lot of bigoted jokes (which is odd, because he isn't), and might be able to cleverly convert a few gay jokes into straight (the one I posted above was originally a gay joke, likely one you've all heard).
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Old 18th Jun 2007, 03:09 PM   #11
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Default Re: straight jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Negasta View Post
I remember for an old episode of Will & Grace, when Grace kissed her boyfriend, Jack shouted:

"I've accepted that you're straight, but I don't know why you have to flaunt your lifestyle like this!"

OMG thats hilarious
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Old 18th Jun 2007, 03:30 PM   #12
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Default Re: straight jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Negasta View Post
I remember for an old episode of Will & Grace, when Grace kissed her boyfriend, Jack shouted:

"I've accepted that you're straight, but I don't know why you have to flaunt your lifestyle like this!"

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Old 18th Jun 2007, 07:39 PM   #13
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Default Re: straight jokes

I love Will & Grace!
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Old 18th Jun 2007, 11:13 PM   #14
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Default Re: straight jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by beckyg View Post
I love Will & Grace!
Uruguay is too far away from Earth for Will & Grace to be received here... lol.
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Old 19th Jun 2007, 10:02 PM   #15
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Default Re: straight jokes

I laughed so hard at the jokes I got a stomach ache. Awesome!
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Old 21st Jun 2007, 06:18 AM   #16
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Default Re: straight jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Negasta View Post
I remember for an old episode of Will & Grace, when Grace kissed her boyfriend, Jack shouted:

"I've accepted that you're straight, but I don't know why you have to flaunt your lifestyle like this!"

hahahaha, I love Will & Grace. It also reminds me of another Jack quote about straight people:

"politically I'm for it, but the actual act makes me sick."
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Old 25th Jun 2007, 02:15 PM   #17
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Default Re: straight jokes

This is my favorite, I just got it in an email

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing
in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...

Satan: "Why so glum?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.
You a drinking man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's
all we do, drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab,
and Fresca. We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more!
And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're
dead anyway."

Guy: "Gee that sounds great!"

Satan: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it!"

Satan: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest
cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get
cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"

Guy: "Wow...that's awesome!"

Satan: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do."

Satan: "Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want.
Craps,blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt,
it doesn't
matter, you're dead anyhow."

Guy: "Cool!"

Satan: "What about Drugs?"

Guy: "Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?"

Satan: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a
great bigbowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a
submarine.You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares."

Guy: "Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"

Satan: "You gay?"

Guy: "No..."

Satan: "Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough..."


Where did the Satan smilie go? I thought I saw one a while ago.
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Old 25th Jun 2007, 02:36 PM   #18
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Default Re: straight jokes

LOL! I'm not sure I'd categorize that as a straight joke, but I thought it was funny...
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Old 25th Jun 2007, 08:00 PM   #19
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Default Re: straight jokes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Double Dubya View Post
This is my favorite, I just got it in an email

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing
in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...

Satan: "Why so glum?"

Guy: "What do you think? I'm in hell!"

Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.
You a drinking man?"

Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."

Satan: "Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's
all we do, drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab,
and Fresca. We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more!
And you don't have to worry about getting a hangover, because you're
dead anyway."

Guy: "Gee that sounds great!"

Satan: "You a smoker?"

Guy: "You better believe it!"

Satan: "All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest
cigars from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get
cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"

Guy: "Wow...that's awesome!"

Satan: "I bet you like to gamble."

Guy: "Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do."

Satan: "Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want.
Craps,blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt,
it doesn't
matter, you're dead anyhow."

Guy: "Cool!"

Satan: "What about Drugs?"

Guy: "Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?"

Satan: "That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a
great bigbowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a
submarine.You can do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares."

Guy: "Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"

Satan: "You gay?"

Guy: "No..."

Satan: "Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough..."


Where did the Satan smilie go? I thought I saw one a while ago.
OMG!! I lol'ed and my dad looked at me funny!
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Old 25th Jun 2007, 08:21 PM   #20
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Default Re: straight jokes

lmfao that was good
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