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How do you feel about online dating?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by lovetoomuch, Apr 3, 2016.

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How do you feel about online dating?

  1. It's a good way to meet people

    15 vote(s)
    24.6%
  2. I hate / don't like it

    7 vote(s)
    11.5%
  3. No opinion

    6 vote(s)
    9.8%
  4. Mixed feelings

    33 vote(s)
    54.1%
  1. lovetoomuch

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    I go back and forth with whether I like it or hate it. Well, I can't say I ever really liked it, but with strict parents, it is one of the few ways for me to meet guys who are gay.

    Reasons I like it:
    1.) Accessibility - it is an easy way to meet guys, as I said

    Reasons I hate it:
    1.) Superficial - you are usually only clicking on someone's profile based on a picture
    2.) Confidence killer - unless you are extremely good looking, you probably will not get a lot of likes (or at least I didn't)
    3.) Level of interaction - while some people can actually hold a conversation online, you really will not know someone until you meet him or her in person.

    I'll stop there, as I have many more. I find myself constantly going back to online dating and then realizing how much I don't like it. What are your opinions on online dating?
     
  2. BMC77

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    Never tried it, so I really can't give a meaningful opinion. That said...a reason I've not tried it is because I hate the idea. In part, I suppose there is that fantasy--and it may be increasingly just a fantasy in today's world of on-line dating, particularly for gay people--of the chance meeting with that special someone.

    But past fantasy, while I often feel more comfortable dealing with people electronically (e-mail, Private Messages, etc), I think I'd feel more comfortable with meeting guys in the real world in non-dating circumstances. Part of this is having a relationship other than romantic first, part of this is that one can get a "real world" view of the person, rather than a profile that is likely skewed, and is designed to "sell" a person. I also think I'd feel a little uncomfortable meeting a person in the real world on a date whom I didn't know except via dating site.

    Unfortunately, though, I may have to consider online dating, at least if I ever decide to pursue trying to find a relationship, simply because it may be the only way of actually finding someone. Indeed, one goal I've had since not long after joining EC (3 years ago) has been meeting other gay people. Not for dating, but just to know others who are in this same boat with me. I've had almost zero success.
     
  3. killswitch0029

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    I've never done it but I feel it's worth pursuing when I'm at the point in my life where I want a relationship. Some people I know have key some pretty crappy people that way but others got lucky and found some pretty decent people.
     
  4. Chiroptera

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    I think it is a good way to meet people, as long as you are prepared to the downsides of this way.

    Like lovetoomuch said, if you aren't really confident, or if you are using dating apps as a "test" for yourself, you will probably end up being hurt, regardless of your appearence, opinions, regardless if you are nice or not, etc.

    I have met some really nice people through dating apps. However, there were many times where i found the seeming perfect guy, like "wow, we have a lot in common, he also likes X, Y, Z"... and a match never happened. Or, in other cases, the conversation started really well, and suddenly the person removed me, or stopped answering, without saying anything.

    Summing it up: I think it is a good way to meet people, but you have to be mentally prepared for that. It isn't a magical answer to dating issues, it will probably not find Mr./Mrs. Right in a day, a week, or a year. If you aren't feeling confident, or if you aren't feeling prepared to face these downsides yet, then i advise against online dating.

    And, as always, remember the safety rules: Always meet in a public place first, always tell a friend where you are going, never send pictures you may regret later, never give too much personal information, always have an escape route planned and, peraphs the most important advice: Trust your gut. If you met this guy in a coffee shop, and he seems wonderfull and everything, but something doesn't feel right, you have all the right to politely finish the conversation and leave.

    Never think that these safety rules are for paranoid people. Protect yourself, and enjoy your date responsibly.

    Finally, a good read about dating, in general: [url="http://emptyclosets.com/forum/family-friends-relationships/56450-looking-relationship-simpler-than-you-think.html]Looking for a relationship: Simpler than you think [/url]
     
  5. Calf

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    Maybe it's just because I'm out of date but I can't help thinking that whilst everyone is busy swiping and liking digitally enhanced selfies (or worse) on their smart phones, they are not picking up on the physical vibes of the fit guy serving them coffee, who is definitely trying to get some flirting attention.
    I know it makes it appear easier to meet someone but the ratio of singles to couples still feels the same as 15 years ago although the rate of STD infection is certainly up so basically I think it's made some things easier to catch but sadly one of those things isn't your dream man.
    :tears::icon_wink
     
  6. MCairo

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    I personally find it a bit superficial to meet people by dating apps/sites. I wouldn't advise against it, but it's not for me. My brief experience with them showed me that there are like 10 guys looking for a hookup for one looking for something more serious.

    One thing I don't like about it is that you already start meeting someone with the expectation of turning that into a date. Now, isn't that the point of it, you might say? Well, yeah, but I often prefer to start as a friend to get to know someone better.

    Anyway, I think anyone should try it, it works for some, doesn't work for others.
     
  7. Matto_Corvo

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    I like the idea of it, especially since I'm not to much of a social person. I don't frequent bars or clubs or such places at all, and I find it hard to talk to people anywhere else. There for most of the people I see as food friends are online, and it will probably turn out the same for dating.

    On the other hand, most dating apps are just another name for hookup apps, something else I don't do. Not looking to get screwed, looking for an actual relationship.
     
  8. Hawk

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    I've never tried or used any kind of dating site/app, but I get a weird feeling thinking about it if I ever signed up for one. I've heard of too many people getting screwed using sites and apps. I'd rather meet someone the "old-fashioned way".
     
  9. Daydreamer1

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    Maybe I'm been biased because I met my partner online, but it can be really great. There is a lot of risk with being screwed over by a catfish, but if you're able to weed them out and vibe with the other person, it can be a beautiful thing.
     
  10. Invidia

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    I haven't ever tried it. It seems weird to me.
     
  11. springroll

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    I met my boyfriend online and tomorrow we'll meet for the first time :slight_smile: However, it wasn't through a dating app but just another internet forum, so without the baggage of trying to look presentable.
     
  12. AlexLee

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    I've tried it but I always found people who were only looking for hook ups and I'm not that type of guy. I want to actually know the person. I also get very bored with them because they are all the same style of sites with almost always the same type of people.
     
  13. OutofZCloset

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    I'm not sure how I feel about it. Im kind of conflicted. The thing is I met my wife on the internet 20 years ago. And before you say it...yes there was an internet 20 years ago although i must admit it was just in its infancy. Let's put it this way...my computer was black and white and there were no web pages only AOL. Anyway I met her in a chat place on AOL called Women's Space. We talked for one evening getting to know each other and then we met the next day as we were both from Southern California. We started dating and never looked back. But there are still a lot of negative conotations with internet dating. I like the internet as a way to meet people but as far as people having long distance boyfriend/ girlfriends. I'm not so sure about that. People that say they are dating someone but have never met that just seems strange to me. I personally don't think I would do something like that. I guess it would depend upon where I was at in life. Anyway I am proof that you can meet your future wife on the internet.
     
  14. Sinopaa

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    I've had 3 experiences with it, all of them negative. Problem with online dating is you're putting a lot of trust in someone who could lie about anything on their profile. Case-in-point I had a girl I talked to for several months. She lived in a nearby city, but was always hesitant to meet me. When I finally convinced her I saw the reason why; she used an old High School photo of herself for her profile. Since then she gained around 100ish pounds. Now this wouldn't have upset me except for the fact that my number one thing I always hammered on was trust and honesty. She thought that I would "look past something so superficial", which I would have had she been honest from the start. She apologized, we watch a movie that sucked, and then skipped dinner as neither of us saw the point.
     
  15. SemiCharmedLife

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    I haven't used one in almost 2 years, because around that time this guy messaged me, I messaged him back, we traded messages for awhile, went out on a date which I managed not to make a fool of myself on, and one thing led to another and he is my bf of almost 2 years. :love:

    So yes, I have a positive opinion of them.
     
  16. happydavid

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    I have mixed feelings because I know that it has worked with others but I haven't been lucky myself. It's expensive for a start plus the ones I've tried have given me no joy. Makes me feel ugly
     
  17. Faschmemster

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    It is the only means I have to find someone similar to me. The possibilities of finding someone who shares my beliefs and ideals offline is near 0.
     
  18. Andrew99

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    If I was looking for a bf I would prefer to do online dating then going to a gay bar. The only thing I don't like about online dating is the people might not look anything like their profile pic.
     
  19. Faschmemster

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    You will most certainly not find a partner in a gay bar. Gay bars are only used for casual hookups with strangers. You wont find a partner anywhere where the gay culture is present in fact for this very reason.
     
  20. R M

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    Ive had my fair share of personal experiences with this. 9/10 times youll be dissapoined if you ask me. people can look VERY different IRL. you build up a relationship with him or her and the person turns out not to be the person you thought he/she was. looks or personality, there's always something unexpected. The guy I recently dated, I met online. and he turned out to be a lazy-ass slob who only got high and literally had no future.

    If you are going to do it, make sure not to get too much inlove with the person before actually knowing them IRL.