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Homophobia

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Soundwave, Apr 14, 2016.

  1. Soundwave

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    Have it ever occurred to some of you that the reason why some people are homophobic is because they probably were hurt by someone who was gay and now take their anger out on other gay people something I've been thinking about lately.
     
    #1 Soundwave, Apr 14, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 14, 2016
  2. AgenderMoose

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    [​IMG]
    That is a good point.

    In what I've seen, it seems to be misinformation or religion-based. But, with it being what I've seen, it's mostly in my area...which is part of the Bible Belt...soooo...
     
    #2 AgenderMoose, Apr 14, 2016
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  3. Plattyrex

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    That may be so, but it still isn't okay. I do understand though. I personally deal with a lot of pent up agression toward women at the moment over being hurt by a small few of them, but I can still rationalize those thoughts and know that they are wrong and that I need to stop feeling that way. It's never okay to hate a whole group of people for any reason.
     
  4. Kellian

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    I think it's just people hating something they don't understand. People will hate other people. It's best not to feed the trolls. Let them hate you, but don't hate back as it only makes more hate.
     
  5. Plattyrex

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    I agree with you to an extent, but I feel that it's silly to suggest that that is the sole reason for homophobia. It's always wrong, but there are certainly different reasons people feel this way. Of course, reasons are not justifications, as prejudice is never justified, but these are still human beings with motivation behind their beliefs.
     
  6. Pret Allez

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    Yes it has, but I rejected the idea as well beneath my consideration.
     
  7. Soundwave

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    Very true I'm wondering though if that's one of the reasons then there's alot a healing that needs to be done on both sides.
     
  8. Plattyrex

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    I'm not saying there isn't. I think it's very important that we all love and support eachother. I'm jst saying that the mindset isn't healthy. I have no place to judge, as I feel I am on verge of developing a persecution complex of sorts at this point, but people need to manifest these feelings in a healthier way. It would probably make themselves feel better, too.
     
  9. Pret Allez

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    I mean, maybe there is healing to be done on both sides, but there's a huge asymmetry of power between heterosexuals and us that makes it rather odd that we need to be in the business of validating their pain.
     
  10. Plattyrex

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    But if we acknowledge the pain of others, it might help them come to accept everyone. I personally think we should love everyone unconditionally, and if someone has views that are morally wrong we should help them correct it.
     
  11. Kira

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    All I ever see around here is religious-based persecution mixed with general misinformation but I'm sort of in the same situation. It's made me a bit cynical, being a gay atheist in the Bible Belt, it doesn't matter how kind I treat them. If I try to educate them however, they quickly shush me as they dislike being corrected or even thinking outside of the box in general. "I'm right, you're wrong, Proof: Ancient book, goodbye." It gets old, I know, I used to be one of the crazies.
     
  12. Plattyrex

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    I suppose you might be right. I live in Flint, Michigan, which doesn't have too many religious nuts, so I suppose it might not be as simple as trying to get along with everyone.
     
    #12 Plattyrex, Apr 14, 2016
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  13. Soundwave

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    You're right times like these I wish I had the ability to see into individuals and not be vindictive but try to see their true emotion and try to understand them everyone hurts including people who do the hurting.
     
  14. Plattyrex

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    Yeah, this is very true. I feel like everyone has been hurt in some way or another. It would be silly to suggest otherwise.
     
  15. Canterpiece

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    People can be homophobic for many, many different reasons. Generally because of misconceptions. I've met quite a few homophobic people, and their reasons tend to vary. A common one I've heard people give me as a reason is that they hate being hit on by gay people.

    In fact, I know a guy who was signed up against his will to a gay dating website/app by his friends as a joke, and know he claims to hate gay people now because of all the gay guys that hit on him. He claims to not be a "proper homophobe or anything" because he knows someone who is even worse, the person they know insists on crossing the street whenever they see someone who just "looks like they could be gay" regardless of whether or not they wanted to go that way.

    I also knew a girl who said that she could never, ever have any female friends who were gay or bi because she didn't want to be hit on, and that she didn't think she could get on with anyone who wasn't straight.

    Then there was this other guy who got annoyed at me for being gay because he had a crush on me and I didn't like him back. Then again, I think he was already homophobic before he found out that a) I didn't like him and b) that I'm gay, so I think that was the icing on the cake which caused him to hate me.

    I think the two main factors are media and internalised issues. People who I know that tend to use a lot of homophobic slurs (and not just "that's so gay" or whatever, because that seems really, really tame to me, plus I know quite a few people who use that without thinking yet are pro LGBT+ rights so yeah. I mean the more sexual and violent insults, threats and slurs) tend to follow celebrities which hold similar values. As a result, those views get past on to that particular circle of people, especially if they idolise this celebrity or think they're "cool" or whatever.

    Then there are internal issues. In particular, internalised homophobia. Think about all the people in power who have had an anti-gay stance and later came out as gay or been caught with someone of the same-sex. I think there was a particular case where this guy ran several gay-straight "conversion" camps, and lived with his wife. He eventually came out as being attracted to men and admitting that the "therapies" don't work. His wife admitted that she knew all along, but didn't want to say anything and wanted to keep in the good books with her neighbours. He said that as much as he loved his wife, he couldn't get his feelings to "go away" and struggled with the shame of that for many, many decades.

    One of the things that comes up against gay men the most is the AIDS crisis. Many people who use this argument don't seem to realise that straight people can get it as well. This is mainly just caused by lack of information and misunderstanding. I hear the phrase "gay AIDS" used a lot in class whenever the teacher is out of the room. "I wish they'd get gay AIDS and die", "This sucks more than gay AIDS", or "this is more "gay" than AIDS". Ugh, whenever people say these things it makes me cringe so hard.

    It always gets me how many people who have an anti-gay stance tend to focus upon gay sex probably more than probably the entire community does put together. They tend to use sexual insults like "c:***:cksu:***:er" or occasionally "m:***:ffm:***:ncher" and just seem to focus on the sexual aspect a lot. The people who raise my suspicions the most are the ones who seem to take every opportunity to talk about gay sex. I know guys who will find ways to mention it even if the conversation is completely unrelated they'll find a way of bringing it up. It's somewhat laughable. With those types of people I tend to get the impression that they are probably gay or bi themselves. Why else would a "totally heterosexual" guy go on about gay sex so much? :grin:

    Then there are the parents that use the reason of "but how do I explain this to my children?". I think the funniest one I heard was when people were panicking at the potential of this cartoon character being gay (can't remember which one now, but I remember the outrage caused by it and people threatening to boycott it) and they gave the reason of "but if my children see the gays kiss, how am I supposed to explain gay sex to them?/ I don't think such sexual scenes should be shown (they kissed on the cheek, it's hardly sexual :eusa_doh:slight_smile:. I mean seriously? How many kids do you know that would have the first question of "mum, dad... how does *insert character* and *insert character* have sex?" after seeing two cartoon characters kiss? It certainly wasn't something that I even thought or knew about at the age of these parent's kids usually. I highly doubt many six or so year olds care about that stuff or know about it.

    But yeah, there are a lot of different reasons and causes for homophobia (probably even too many to list). There's someone's beliefs they may have, they may come from a homophobic family/area, they may hold a lot of misconceptions, or they may just fear being hit on (maybe because they're secretly afraid they might like it) and even to reasons such as "it doesn't aesthetically please me" which is usually the reason women give if they like gay men but not lesbians, or vice versa with men. But I think a big one is internalised self hatred, particularly if they don't want their cover blown. The logic being "if people see me as hating on the gays, they won't suspect a thing".

    You can be homophobic for many reasons sure, but I think that the ones who shout the loudest and care the most tend to have something to hide. After all, people don't tend to care about something much unless it affects them in some way, shape or form. This could be because they saw their siblings/family members being treated badly and may hate homosexuality in general because of the pain that their bullies cause them or that they saw how much discomfort and shame that being gay has caused that particular person and may grow a dislike of homosexuality or bisexuality etc. as a result. Or maybe their parents grew apart because one left the marriage for a same-sex partner ect. Or maybe they have been abandoned and disowned by their friends and family and may dislike their "gayness" as a result, and may externalise their negativity towards it on others as a way of coping. They may not even realise what they are doing because they have buried their own personal feelings so deep within themselves that even they no longer know the reality of their situation and who they are anymore.

    Gosh this got deep. Anyway this song is kind of related so here you go:

    [YOUTUBE]1CQg9f7z9eg[/YOUTUBE]

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CQg9f7z9eg

    :slight_smile:
     
    #15 Canterpiece, Apr 15, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2016
  16. gabjiao

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    This is mostly in my experience with guys. I think they are somehow afraid that they get turn on sexually or actually fall in love by a gay person that is why they are afraid.

    But I am just guessing though... :icon_redf
     
  17. Canterpiece

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    I'd agree that this is probably the case with these people a lot of the time. But yeah, reasons can vary.
     
    #17 Canterpiece, Apr 15, 2016
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  18. Eveline

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    No... it doesn't really work and even in the rare cases in which a homophobic person was actually directly hurt by an LGB person it is very unlikely to be the source of their homophobia.

    Think about it, a hypothetical person that was directly hurt by someone LGB has most likely been hurt by many people who are heterosexual yet I assume they don't hate heterosexual people. With this in mind, the reason why they connected the pain they went through to homosexuality is probably that they held homophobic feelings before they were hurt and it just gave them a convenient excuse.
     
    #18 Eveline, Apr 15, 2016
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  19. Irisviel

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    +1
     
  20. KarenLyn

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    I've visited several states and me a lot of people while traveling with my mom and I think one of the biggest contributors to this is religion (Christianity in particular) which perpetuates the misconceptions and misinformation they produce themselves. I just watched that video... homophobic = probably gay... it was great and yes... "Me thinks thou dost protest too much." Cultural, religious, personal, easily led sheeple who are afraid of what they don't understand.