Hi. I cry way too much. I don't mind crying, but I feel like if I do it in public it makes people feel less of me. I feel like if I could jst control it at school it might help my self esteem a little bit. Is there anything I could do to stop myself when I feel like crying?
I have a desk punch ball that I punch when I'm stressed or upset, that's really helped. I also like to write stories, talk to characters I've created and go to sleep [if it's after 21:30].
I am the same as Secrets5, I write stories and characters. And like I make character talk to each other about "their" problem when it is just mine and all. I also play sports to get rid of my frustration and all.
Think about anything else. Things you like that are not at all related to what's making you cry. It will distract you until the urge passes if you can manage it. I've got the opposite problem, where I don't cry even if I think it would help. But I don't consider it to be weak.
Somehow recently it seems more like I have to try and fail to make myself cry than stop myself. Years of training since about 5 haha. I've always HATED crying in public. I can pretty much only cry when I feel completely trapped in an argument (I guess my body is just trying to give me a get out of jail free card to get out of the situation) with mainly my mother or authority figures, or very very very rarely in bed in the dark. Not even alone during daytime. Just er, really control your breathing and divert your mind.
When I cry, I realise that my emotions are running rampant, so I usually ask myself stuff like 'why am I feeling this way', 'what can I do to stop it', 'what better things do I have to do rather than sobbing my eyes out'. I tell myself to stop, compartmentalise the feelings and get over the breakdown. For me, this pretty much shuts down all emotions quickly and allows me to get back on track on my work.
I've never cried in public. But when I'm alone and about to cry, I clench my fists and take deep breaths (that may be because I sometimes cry when I'm angry) and then I try to focus on something else. I've never tried Secret5's idea but it sounds like a good one.
Stopping yourself from crying takes a lot of self-control, do not think about what it is that is making you cry. Some things I do to stop myself from crying: - Count to 0 from 100 (always works for me) - Think only of positive thoughts (I'll tell myself, "You're not allowed to cry") - Reading - Doing homework - Taking a short walk
I try to preoccupy myself with music or videos on Youtube...though I might subconsciously put on depressing music to make me more upset.
I usually start imagining up a story when I feel sad and don't want to cry. It'll usually either be me doing something else or characters from my favorite things. But I daydream up full stories all the time so sometimes it doesn't work cuz I'm too upset and then I just have to try not thinking about anything.
I... don't know. My father sort of forced me to never cry, to the point to where I'll just get red-faced, my eyes will water, but the tears just don't happen. Now that I finally live away from him, I want to get it back. It makes me feel broken to say the least. I'd say don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise, crying is perfectly normal and natural.
I used to hold it all in but nowadays I don't really care if I cry in public or not. I'd rather just let it go instead of bottling it up inside.
Hide under a blanket or something and take deep breaths until I calm down then go and make some hot tea or hot chocolate
I talk about it with my best friend. Or I lay on bed and listen to music while letting it all out. after I realise how dumb I was and such a dramaqueen I was being
If your ultimate goal is improving your self-esteem, this would be counterproductive. What you're looking for is self-acceptance and self-actualization, not changing something about yourself to fit in. Fitting in isn't as rewarding as being yourself, becoming the person you want to be, accepting yourself, respecting yourself, and loving yourself. I find it almost certain that your feelings of "crying too much" are informed by stigma and shame, not an aversion to crying itself. Some people might not like crying, but I often hear people say they find crying to be healing. That's how I feel. I used to be very hurt by the stigma of crying and having feelings, but I've come to accept, respect, and love myself and my feelings and how I manage them, and I now cry unabashedly. My only concern about crying in public is strangers trying to talk to me. Crying is a natural response to stress and negative emotions, and inhibiting it can hurt you in the long run. Also painful is feeling ashamed of crying and your feelings, or being derided for them. Seeing your feelings and crying as valid, respectable, and good will help you. That said, there is a stigma to crying, especially in public, and especially for men and boys, but the stigma is the problem, not crying. If you are harassed for crying in public, it might be safer to find a way to hold it back, but if you do, I'd recommend thinking back on it later and if the tears come, then great!