Err, What am I?

So wait do you think because you are out of shape with low self-esteem that you are bi?
and if you weren't that way then you wouldn't like boys?
cause if you think that then its most definitely not true, sexuality doesn't derive from some issue you have in your past, its just part of you when you're born.

 

Hi there! I'm Rico. Personally, I think there's no real definition of bisexuality. I don't say I'm gay or I'm bi but i always tell people that I am not straight i always tell people that I can see myself in an emotional and sexual relationship with a guy, but only emotional relationship with a girl. So for me, I'd rather look for a male partner than a female one. Well of course it takes time to figure this out, but by being here, you're taking your first step towards the enlightenment! We're young, enjoy life!

My family is Catholic by religion, but I don't think my parents approve of bigotry. And I personally think the bible is up to your interpretation. Though i believe in God, I'd rather believe the all-loving God rather than the gay-hating God.

If coming out is not an option, have you considered moving out? ell i wouldn't know cause I'm not out yet to my family, but a lot of people here encourages you to come out as it will make you feel better! Let me know what you think!

About being overweight, I am too! For my entire life, though I never got any of the abuse and jokes thrown at me. I'm kinda the same way, but I think what you need is someone who actually takes the first step and talks to you FIRST. Try opening up more, open yourself a little bit of a time, and see if it makes a difference. I'm the kind who needs some "poking" before I open up myself to other people.

So welcome to EC! And make friends here! it'll help so much by talking to people in EC, they're all very helpful

 

Best of luck exploring your brain...
For awhile I wondered about who I was attracted to, and in some ways I think people can never really know. Identity isn't concrete and simple.
There are plenty of people out there who will accept and love you for whoever you are, gay, bi, straight, or anywhere in between.
And about overweightness? Those people are unbelievably shallow and missing out on a lot. However, the more open and confident you are about your identity and your appearance, the more true friends you'll find.
EC seems like a great place to start. (&&&)
Hugs, Lyra

 

Hi, welcome

Sometimes when we have an environment around us telling us that being gay or bi is wrong, we look for any explanation as to why we might be attracted to our own sex. We think "It must just be because I feel bad about my shape" or "It must be because of my relationship with my parents" or "I'm just afraid because I've never had good friends of the opposite sex" or etc etc. We look for any reason why we have this attraction, trying to push away the thought that maybe we simply are attracted to them, just naturally, because it's a part of who we are.

Does that sound familiar to you? Could it be that you've connected the "in shape" idea to the looking at guys because it's kinda scary to admit that you just do like looking at guys anyway?

Just a thought. Hope it helps you come to some realisations. (*hug*)

 

I wouldn't rush with trying to label yourself too quikly. I'm not bothering with the labels thing because I'm not sure theres one that fits me. Just roll with it, like who you like. As rico said try opening up a little bit more in every day life just a bit at a time, maybe join some clubs put yourself out there.
If you're unhappy about your weight, do something about it, try to eat a little better and maybe join a gym or go on cycles or runs on your own - gives you "me" time to think things through. Do you have a dog? take it out on walks.
Dont make it a big thing just little simple chages.
Good Luckk!
and welcome to EC! luckily everyone here just wants to help you

 

Get yourself in shape, bud. I was like that back in the day, I was overweight and now I'm not. I'm not in shape, but I'm certainly not fat. It took me three months of work... three months to counter the problem that had dogged me from about 6 years old till I was 19. 13 years, countered by three months. You can do it. =]

 

Holy crap dude. It is like my 19 year old self got into a time machine, came to the future and wrote that post.

I have been overweight ever since I was a teenager. There was a time when I dismissed my homosexual feelings as envy. I would see a cute guy and think oh I want that body. So last year I decided to preform an experiment. I bought a bicycle and started riding it. I lost about 15 pounds and started feeling better about my self. Then I started to realize something. It was not envy I was feeling, it was genuine sexual attraction.

As for the porn thing. Same thing happened to me. Especially when I would watch the anal sex scene. I would watch it, but delete it later as I felt guilty. Now though I have no shame in watching gay porn. In fact I am of the opinion that it is the best kind. Because you get to see 2 people you are attracted to having sex.

As for your family believing the whole bible, I'm going to disagree with you on that topic. If they truly think you will go to hell for being gay then there are is quite a bit of the bible they have not read. Recently I have read some parts of the Bible and it is not the same Bible I remember hearing about as a teenager. It seems folks tend the skip over the parts of the old rules no longer applying and not judging others. Romans 14 makes that pretty clear. Plus you know what Jesus said about homosexuality. Nothing, he didn't say anything about it. If it was such a big deal that it would send you to hell and invalidate your salvation one would expect him to have said something about it.

My advice is to skip the labels for now and just run with it. See what happens.

You seem to be saying you believe that sexual orientation is an innate trait, but that we choose weather we want to act on it. Ok ... I'll give you that. The hardest part of my coming out was over coming my own internal homophobia. I used to think I just needed to cut off that part of my life. Then I realized I have every right to love, to have someone to share my life with, and to have sex. I'm not going to let some self righteous jerk stop me from living a happy and fulfilling life.

 

Yes, it is our choice to show those feelings, but it's almost always unhealthy to deny them, to live a lie... which is why people say they're born that way. They have to show those feelings or live a messed-up life.

 

I can understand. Plenty of Christians get caught up with that one passage and repeat it ad nauseam. However, the thing is with the bible is that it should be taken into context:

The text itself gives us a big clue as to the intended meaning. Three different times we are specifically told that the rules set forth in chapters 18 and 20 are meant to prevent the Israelites from doing what the Egyptians and Canaanites did. The term Canaanites refers to the group of nations who lived in the land into which the Israelites migrated when they left Egypt. It follows, therefore, if we can determine what type of homosexual behavior was common among the Canaanites and Egyptians, we will better understand what these verses were meant to prohibit.

Biblical historians tell us the Canaanite religions surrounding the Israelites at the time of Leviticus often included fertility rites consisting of sexual rituals. These rituals were thought to bring the blessing of the god or goddess on crop and livestock production. During the rituals, whole families, including husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, cousins, aunts and uncles would sometimes have sex. Also included was sex with temple prostitutes. In short, every kind of sexual practice imaginable was performed at these rituals, including homosexual sex.

This is what was going on in Canaan and Egypt at the time the Levitical rules were announced — homosexual temple prostitution. And as already noted, Leviticus 18 and 20 specifically say they were written to address pagan religious practices. Leviticus 18 begins with the admonition, “You shall not do as they do in the land of Egypt, where you lived, and you shall not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you.” (18:3) Chapter 20 is even more specific, beginning with an injunction against the pagan practices associated with a god named Molech. And both chapters include long lists of sexual practices common in the cultic rituals we mentioned above. However, neither of them speaks to the question of whether two people of the same sex can live in loving relationship with the blessing of God.

In fact, historians tell us our model of loving, long-term homosexual relationships did not meaningfully exist in Canaanite culture. This was a tribal culture in which it would have been virtually impossible to form such relationships. Offspring were essential to survival in this primitive agricultural economy. Moreover, there were rigid distinctions between women’s work and men’s work. If two men had lived together as a couple, for example, one of them would have been placed in the position of doing women’s work, and the presence of a man working among the women of the village would not have been tolerated.

It simply is not reasonable to believe the author of Leviticus intended to prohibit a form of homosexual relationship that did not exist at the time. When read in textual and historical context, the prohibitions in Leviticus 18 and 20 are clearly directed at homosexual temple prostitution, and that is how they should be applied.

I recommend that you check out http://www.wouldjesusdiscriminate.com and http://www.godmademegay.com

And like has been said before, don't label yourself too quickly; be sure to ask around, go with the flow; you'll soon learn what you really like and don't like. If it turns out that you realise that it really isn't envy of other guys' bodies, but attraction, then you're in good company here.

Oh, and welcome to EC.

 

(sorry, I haven't read this thread properly)

Are you saying that you are not so much attracted to men as such, but like them because they look how you want to look? Or have I completely missed the point? v_v

 

Yeah, I'm not sure if you're jealous or attracted. :/ Do you want abs, or do they turn you on?

Maybe you could join a gym? It's not like everyone there is a gym rat. People of all shapes and sizes work out there so they can get in shape. No one's gonna judge you.

 

It's an overdone retort, but in the same vicinity, there is written that eatig shellfish, shaving and wearing clothing from two or more types of fibres is an abomination too.


Nevertheless, those are things a lot of devout Christians still do, without the fear of hellfire. Most of the wording in the original language is more specific than the English translation, and clearly refers to religious practices of other tribes, most of which do not exist anymore.