1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

ace/aro discourse

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by coolestalien, Apr 20, 2016.

  1. coolestalien

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2016
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Yerevan
    because of the overwhelming amount of discourse on tumblr and various other sites about this, i want to know what everyone else here thinks. do you consider cishet aro/ace people to be apart of the lgbtq+ community? or are they not?
     
  2. Secrets5

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2015
    Messages:
    1,964
    Likes Received:
    77
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Someone who is heterosexual (het) isn't aromantic or asexual. A heterosexual person might be transgender, and is part of the T part in LGBT. Someone who is cisgender might be aromantic or asexual, and therefore is part of the + in LGBT.
     
  3. YinYang

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2015
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Florida
    Seeing as how being ace or are is not being heteroromantic heterosexual, yes, ace and are people are part of the lgbtq+ community. People who are cis, heteroromantic, AND heterosexual are not part of the community, and that's it.
     
  4. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Tumblr is about the last place I would look for credible information on sexuality and sexual orientation. Much of the ridiculous, utterly unsupported stuff you see comes from Tumblr.

    That said, someone who is genuinely asexual, according to the widely accepted definition (meaning, a rare circumstance in which there is a hard wired lack of any sexual attraction whatsoever) would certainly be considered a sexual minority and so would seem to be a good match for the LGBT community, which is essentially all sexual minorities.

    Given that thre is little to no credible evidence to support the idea of a separation between romantic and sexual orientations, at least if we are talking biology and science and not somebody's chosen label, I would categorize those two together and again state that the could reasonably be considered a sexual minority.

    I think perhaps the one major difference in practicL terms is... Thanks in large part to Tumblr and various other science-and-credibility-free communities, many people who use these terms have identified with a label that is properly considered unchangeable, but their circumstance isn't actually hardwired but instead a byproduct of psychological or other circumstances and is, in fact part of an underlying co-occurring disorder (anxiety or depression, for example). So for that group (the ones who are not hardwired), they may not really 'belong' in the same way as LGBT people, because their circumstance isn't hardwired and can be effectively addressed and changed. But there is no reason why they should not feel welcomed as well; there are certainly many straight allies who are part of the community.
     
  5. Libertino

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2016
    Messages:
    1,195
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    This Side of the Enlightenment
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Originally I was beginning to think that the only thing that was "anomalous" about my sexuality was the fact that I had a very low, almost non-existent sex drive. And so would that mean the moment I crossed from "very low" to "non-existent" marked the moment I became a part of the LGBT community? (I later realized that I felt romantic attraction, and perhaps limited sexual attraction, to both genders, so I didn't think it was wrong for me to associate with the community). Ultimately I agree with Chip in that asexuality is a sexual minority, and thus it can work with the LGBT community, which for the most part represents sexual (and gender) minorities.
     
  6. baconpox

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2014
    Messages:
    963
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't even consider the LGBT+ community to be something that exists. It's completely arbitrary to group these specific groups of people, and I don't understand why people view it as a community.
     
  7. EnchanterForest

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2016
    Messages:
    175
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    England (From NZ)
    Yeah, I guess, their sexuality is "normal" or heteronormative. So yeah, they are part of the LGBT+ community. But then anyone can be apart of the community cause we all have very supportive hetero friends, right? Well I do, and don't they come up under allys which is like lets see:
    L - Lesbian
    G - Gay
    B - Bisexual
    T - Transgender
    Q - Queer/Questioning
    I - Intersex
    A - Asexual
    A - Ally
    + - People like me
    Yeah part of the LGBT+ group, I don't see the point in discriminating them at all from being part of the community, cause ain't we all friends?
     
  8. coolestalien

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2016
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Yerevan
    i feel like i didn't word this correctly. cishet aro/aces are apart of the lgbtq+ community, but the word i meant was do you consider them queer specifically?
     
  9. Invidia

    Invidia Guest

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2015
    Messages:
    2,802
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Far above the clouds, gazing deep below the Earth
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sure. I think it's sad that they're often excluded. Then again, if it's like, someone with just a low sex drive who thinks they're inherently incapable of sexual/romantic attraction while they're really not, then I guess I would find it a bit strange for them to be a part of it - but on the other hand, I could never say for another person what their feelings are, so if they say they're ace/aro I'll include them in community, of course.
     
  10. baconpox

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2014
    Messages:
    963
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Where I'm from, queer is considered derogatory, so I wouldn't consider anyone queer unless that's what they specifically called themselves. As for who can use what personal descriptors, I don't really care who calls themselves what as long as their only calling themselves that.
     
  11. AgenderMoose

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2015
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Missouri
    Gender:
    Other
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Y...yea, I...don't see why not. Not sure if I like the term queer, though. I'm used to it being derogatory, or just meaning "odd". *super awkward shrug*
     
  12. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've personally never liked "queer" even though I know a lot of people use it. To the extent I use it at all, I use it as interchangeably with LGBTNEABJEWHNVPVIE* (or whatever alphabet is in vogue this week) so in that way, I'd include pretty much any credible sexual minority as part of the LGBT/queer community.
     
  13. Pret Allez

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    6,785
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    You forgot a letter.


    *runs*
     
  14. ellyy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2014
    Messages:
    239
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    -
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Glad I'm not the only one who sees through this :eusa_clap:eusa_clap
     
  15. Pret Allez

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2012
    Messages:
    6,785
    Likes Received:
    67
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Since I use Tumblr, I'm quite aware of the discourse. I find it problematic, and I mostly follow radical trans people, anarchists, and non-anarchist anti-capitalists. The thing you have to understand about those people, particularly trans women and lesbians in this space, they are a bit more separatist because they have been hurt by compulsory heterosexuality... and in the case of trans women, compulsory masculinity.

    In their view, they've been marginalized so much and experienced such little solidarity within the LGB community, they tend to get very tight knit and insulated. Every tribe rejected them, so they made their own. They can be very sweet, but also very fierce.

    In short, they take the view that within the LGBT community, resources are scarce, and there's a sort of "zero-sum game" that's being played. To their mind, if ace cishet ppl get to be considered "queer," there is no value to an LGBT community (this is coming from people who already distrust the notion).

    For my part, I'm rather on the fence about their whole stance. I know they've been hurt, but I think asexual people deserve our empathy too. After all, they have the same kind of vulnerability we do in having to explain non-normative attraction patterns. They have to deal with people directing their sexual energy at them when they don't want it. In the LGBT community, my opinion has never been that we need to face the exact same struggles in order to organization on the basis of compassion and solidarity. It just helps to have a shared experience.

    With that being said, I support including asexual people within the community, provided they support the community and understand us as we seek to understand them.

    ~ Adrienne