Does my mom have a point?

No.

 

I guess some people might overcompensate that way. Then again, I don't know about your mother, and it's totally possible she's uncomfortable with it.

 

It could be interpreted that you posting openly about your sexuality means you feel comfortable enough to share it with others, too. Try using something like that as a comeback if she says it again and you'll probably be able to judge by her response where her actual focus is (on you being unsure of your sexuality, or on her feeling self-conscious about it).

 

Well I mean it can be, but if you just want people to know without having to come out in person, you just want to show pride or address problems and stereotypes bisexuals face, then that's not the case. When you feel comfortable with labeling yourself bisexual and then post stuff about it, it doesn't make you insecure.

 

To be honest, it sounds like wishful thinking on your mom's part...like, if she doesn't see it there in front of her then it isn't happening. But I see nothing wrong with your posting on FB. It's a good way to meet other bisexual people for friendship an support, and saves you from going into long explanations to people you don't even know that well. And when you're just coming out, I think it's kind of empowering to be able to say, This is me. This is who I am.

I think that your mom may be concerned about what family will think. I get that. But if she wants to support you, she needs to find a way to deal with that.

 

"Just remember that whatever you post on Facebook, automatically includes the rest of us too."
No, how would it include your family as being bisexuals too?

"And there's really no reason for you to broadcast your sexuality online."
Telling everyone your sexuality helps to get the weight off of your chest, it helps to feel like you're not lying to anyone anymore, it makes you free from having to constantly pretend, is that pointless?

"By doing this, I feel that you're still not quite sure of what your preferences are"
You 'feel' that they're unsure instead of thinking, that doesn't mean they are unsure, it just means you haven't looked into the matter properly, but instead made a judgement call based on what you feel is happening.

"if you were certain, then you wouldn't need to broadcast it. You don't see [names removed] posting about their gayness, so why do you feel you need to broadcast your bisexuality?"
Why would saying you're bisexual necessarily means you're not certain? I don't get the connection here. Also, why would the actions of a few people determine what someone else would do? Human Beings are way more complex than generalizations you've made from a few personal experiences.

"So I think you're still unsure about yours sexuality."
None of the reasons you've supplied were actually valid, it was mostly based on what you felt was happening.


So yeah, I think your mom is just fibbing at this point. I'm sorry if I came off as rude, believe me, that is not my intent, but I just wanted to make things absolutely clear on why she was wrong. I think you should just ignore these 'points' and just be yourself. Don't let anyone hold you back.

Have a wonderful day.

 

No.

 

It honestly sounds like your mom is uncomfortable with you being so open about your identity. In that case, it is her problem and not yours.

 

I am wondering if your mother is one of the people who thinks bisexuality is inherently a confused state. So it's not so much the posting on-line, but saying you're bisexual which she thinks is confused. Perhaps she thinks bisexual = still confused about whether you like men or women, rather than bisexual = like both men and women. It's a fairly common misconception, like many people seem to think bisexual is a stage on the road to being gay.

 

She has no point

 

Yes, your mum does have a point but no it's not made very well. If you've set your personal info to interested in men and women, as well as making an initial 'coming out' post, why are you trying to "send out the message that you swing both ways"?
Perhaps the point that your mum was trying to make is that she doesn't think that you need to be making a big issue of it on Facebook. After all it's not a dating site so why does your sexuality matter?
Fair enough if it's a status that implies your sexuality, nobody can complain but personally I don't understand why you would post a status for no other reason than to announce your sexuality. I don't agree that it has to be due to confusion (because you seem quite confident) but I'm sure there are more interesting things about yourself that you would rather share with your friends and family. Like you say, nobody else is regularly announcing their orientation.
I don't think you should give way to encourage her denial but I also don't think that fanning the flames is a good idea either.
Also the fact that she 'wants' you to meet a man doesn't necessarily mean she would be unhappy if it is a woman. Parents usually come round to anything you do once they see how happy it makes you.

 

Yeh your mum doesn't have a point at all.. She is trying to hide who you are

 

Idk. think that you should just be proud that you are bisexual, and I also think that your mom should be supportive about it and not try to make a fuss about it. Maybe she means that you shouldnt post so mucj stuff about it, becuase it may be a bit pushing it in peoples faces if that makes sense. Nobody likes it when a couple are in public and are in everyones face about them being in a relationship by for instance french kissing the hell out of eachother. maybe your moms doesnt like the idea of you pushing in everyones faces about your sexuality.

 

This is some fun passive-aggressive speech there actually. Two ways to read it:
"We don't want to see this, and by posting it, you make us see it. Stop that."
"I'd wish this part of you would be less visible."

While she may be working through some things, this is something that'd get me pretty angry and frustrated. Mostly because of the passive-aggressive part of it. It's practically an admission that she knows what would come of it if she was speaking honestly, so she doesn't, but still wants her way.

 

No. Your a good person and she should accept you and be proud to be associated with you.

 

Don't let doubt get you down.
Remember that it's OK to not know yourself perfectly! How many people have ever lived, do you think, who honestly knew themselves perfectly?

Post what you want. If it makes you feel more confident, that's good. More confidence equals more happiness. Unconfident people are also more miserable people.

 

I don't think there is any point. Maybe she is afraid of others opinions of her because you are you. I wish I had your strength to say it on FB and be done. I knew a 4 to hell with the cooties thing and girls and boys are attractive and don't care either way. Impress me with you and your mind first because what's in the pants if it comes to sharing it is WOW either way. Curious what age you knew you were bi VelvetBlade if not to personal.

 

If my mom said that to me, I would spam the crap out of my FB wall looool.