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A friend killed herself.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by R M, May 4, 2016.

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  1. R M

    R M
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    If this is posted in the wrong forum thingy, please move it to the right one.

    So today I heard from everyone that a friend of mine, also someone who was in my class, killed herself yesterday by jumping infront of a train at night. Today they identified her body and said it was her. This just got me totally silent and completely thrown back. She was in her last year of highschool, only had 2 weeks of school left, and was just 16 years old. She had a whole life infront of her. She was so beautiful, talented, creative, and always so kind to everyone. I knew something was going on with her (I wont go into detail) but I didnt think that she'd actually do it. This got everyone so blown back and nobody knows anything other than that it happened last night and that she jumped infront of a train. I dont even know is she even left a note or something to let us know why she actually decided to do it.

    Things like this reminds me of how messed up this world actually is. Theres so many issues and problems about the world we live in and I doubt if it will ever stop.

    Her name was Elize and I want to remember her beautiful personality forever.
    Her story didn't have a happy ending.

    Sorry I just wanted to get this off my chest and maybe ask for advice on how to deal with this. thanks for reading this. I appreciate it if you did :slight_smile:.
     
    #1 R M, May 4, 2016
  2. HM03

    HM03
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    I'm so sorry, I really wish I had something better to say (*hug*) :frowning2:
     
    #2 HM03, May 4, 2016
  3. greatwhale

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    Hey R M, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend and classmate..

    Long ago, I also lost a friend to suicide, I also saw in him some signs that I would recognize today as dangerous, but I didn't know about then. After it happened, I felt terrible because I kept thinking of all the things I should or could have done to stop him...ultimately however, we can never know what goes on in another's head, hindsight is always clearer.

    So first and foremost, grieve her loss, but also, please forgive yourself...most likely, there was nothing you could do to change this outcome. Absolutely honour her memory as best you can. Part of grieving for someone who died is to talk about who that person was, it is the best thing you can do to heal from this.

    All the best.
     
    #3 greatwhale, May 4, 2016
  4. blueshadedsoul

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    That's awful. I'm really sorry.
     
    #4 blueshadedsoul, May 4, 2016
  5. Andrew99

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    We are so sorry to hear that! (*hug*)
     
    #5 Andrew99, May 4, 2016
  6. R M

    R M
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    its okay. It you taking your time to make a reply that counts. thanks :slight_smile:
     
    #6 R M, May 4, 2016
  7. Psaurus918

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    Just goes to show how powerful depression can be. I'm so sick of how we treat people who have depression/mental illness, most people are too scared to admit they need help or when they do people just tell them to "suck it up" and that's not right...

    Sorry to hear about your friend.
     
    #7 Psaurus918, May 4, 2016
  8. R M

    R M
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    thank you for your kind words. It was unexpected and I always knew there was something. Having my own fair share with depression and suicidal thoughts and all the other stuff, I noticed she had problems and could really relate to how she was feeling and acting. I didnt think that she would actually do it. The worst for me, is that she was so young and has such a bright future ahead of her. and so close to finishing highschool. that really makes me tear up everytime I think about it. Also the way she did it, thinking what probably happened to her as she got under the train and carried away and how awful the condition of her body must have been scares me alot. Its a sight I hope to never see. Also her parents that have to go through such a devestading time is breaking my heart.

    I am talking to other friends about it. I lit candles for her and took a good moment to really remember her for who she was. Me and my friends are going to her memorial next week to pay our respects to the family and friends she left. I really do hope that she is at peace and doesnt have to suffer through the rough life she must have had.

    thanks again

    ---------- Post added 4th May 2016 at 10:01 PM ----------
    thank you both for your kindness

    ---------- Post added 4th May 2016 at 10:03 PM ----------
    you are absolutely right. Having the same problems as she had, and hearing what happened to her and how devastading this all is for the people around her, really makes you realise how your choices can effect other people's daily lives. thanks for your kind words.
     
    #8 R M, May 4, 2016
  9. Kodo

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    I'm so sorry, man. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Losing a friend is rough and like others said, don't blame yourself. Take time to grieve, and it's noble of you to be doing what you're doing and supporting the family. Hang in there.
     
    #9 Kodo, May 4, 2016
  10. R M

    R M
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    thank you for that kind reply :slight_smile:. Im trying to take it easy and try to do whatever I can to make people feel better. I hope people get through this process soon so that they can continue their lives without any problems or obstacles. Thanks again :slight_smile:
     
    #10 R M, May 4, 2016
  11. AwesomGaytheist

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    The shock can be overwhelming, and many people say they never saw it coming. As someone who's dealt with depression for half my life, I can tell you that people with depression are very good at making it look like everything's coming up roses. It's not your fault, and with time, things do get better.
     
    #11 AwesomGaytheist, May 4, 2016
  12. 1Tiny0wl

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    I am sorry for your loss.
     
    #12 1Tiny0wl, May 4, 2016
  13. beastwith2backs

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    Look, i'm terribly sorry about your friend, I really am. ;( I almost cried reading that ;(
     
    #13 beastwith2backs, May 4, 2016
    Last edited: May 4, 2016
  14. KarenLyn

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    I am sooo sorry to hear about your friend. Our minds are such fragile things at times. No one knows what demons people around us are fighting. It makes you want to go to all of your friends and strangers and just make sure they're in a good space. My thoughts are with you RM... Blessings!
     
    #14 KarenLyn, May 4, 2016
  15. PrettyinPunk

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    You have my deepest condolences. Its really terrible when someone feels ending their life is the only option left. The loss of life is heartbreaking, I'm sorry for anyone who has to experience it. My only advice is like others have said don't blame yourself for something you didn't have control of. Let yourself feel all the emotions that come with loss. And no matter how painful it is don't forget the memories you have of your friend, don't forget who she was.

    Again I'm sorry for you and the family of your friend.
     
    #15 PrettyinPunk, May 5, 2016
  16. guitar

    guitar
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    My best friend from childhood into my teen years (and we stayed in touch after) died the exact same way at age 25 with 2 kids. It was the worst couple of weeks after. I and my friends were devastated. If you were close with this friend, you will absolutely feel like your heart has been ripped from your chest and that's perfectly normal. I'm guessing this girl was likely depressed. Suicide, sadly, is a permanent solution to an often temporary problem.

    My condolences to yourself, her friends, classmates, most of all, her family - who are probably devastated beyond words.

    If you'd like to more about this or grieve, write me on my wall.
     
    #16 guitar, May 5, 2016
  17. Embi

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    I'm so sorry this happened :frowning2:
     
    #17 Embi, May 5, 2016
  18. R M

    R M
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    Thank you all so much for taking the time to write so many nice things to me. It really was a shock to everyone and It really does fel like youre suddenly missing something. Like something inside you is empty and missing something that might never be replaced. With all the other things happening to me and the people around me, I am dreading for what might happen next this year. This is a year I want to leave behind as soon as possible. And I will remember her and all the other things that happened this year, and take them with me in hopes of making me stronger.

    She was so creative, talented, well spirited, beautiful and an amazing singer. Listening to her singing makes me think of her and what a terrific person she was and will always be.

    thanks again everyone :slight_smile:
     
    #18 R M, May 5, 2016
  19. gravechild

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    I'm curious to see what some of these signs are/were, since a few of my friends are dealing with a lot. A few I'm worried about, but maybe it's the ones who seem to "have it together" that I should concern myself with?
     
    #19 gravechild, May 5, 2016
  20. baristajedi

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
     
    #20 baristajedi, May 5, 2016
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