Hi everyone! So i have started to date (well, try to anyway). I started to speak to this guy on ****** and he seemed really interested. I asked him out on a date but he said he was busy with exams, but he was still keen to do something when he was free. We got talking, and mid-conversation he suddenly stopped replying. 2 days later I asked how he was doing; i can see he read the message, but still no reply. So now i'm a bit baffled with why the sudden cold-shoulder, especially as we were getting on so well. I asked one of my friends who is experienced in dating and he said that its common that people try to "treat them mean, keep them keen" by stop replying to their messages, making the person on the other end squirm. I guess this can be thought of as like a test, as well as making the other person want you more. I personally think this is very horrible and i would be a little disappointed if that's what he is doing to. How common is this though? Does it work? How should i play the situation now? Do i just stop sending messages? Thanks for any advice, i am very new to dating and still learning The Game.
Just wait, or tell him something random (e.g hey look at this link I found that you may like). He might just not know what to say. I actually do that sometimes...it may also be he doesnt want to come off as clingy.
If it's on a hookup app, it's quite possible that when you started talking about dating instead of just a hookup, he lost interest. In general, if you're looking for something meaningful with someone, you aren't going to find it on those apps. As for the games your friend described... yes, that's possible, but if he's doing that, he isn't someone you want to go out with (or, at least, I wouldn't.)
The previous post maybe said the same thing as I'm about to say, in a more economical way. Yes, if this is a social media venue, then you should stop replying. This is a depressing part of hooking up with people this way, and I'm afraid you are going to have to get used to it, the majority of the time. Also, I think from how you wrote the question, you probably are responding in a courteous and personal manner, perhaps with "too much information." This too is depressing, because in some venues (e.g., Craigslist), this is almost guaranteed to cause others to stop responding. What I've described is basically a "meat market." Now, from time to time men desire a meat market, and that's just fine. However, if you are interested in making friends (perhaps you implied this, and perhaps you have not), then do try other venues, besides the hookup sites. I've had no luck making friends those places, and from what I read on the internet this is the experience of most others as well.
Dating apps and sites are really very misleading when it comes to connecting with people. Those first few conversations you have together are not comparable to the first few conversations if you met in person. Imagine you were in a bar and saw a guy you liked because he was handsome and the right age. Would you just walk up to him and say "hi, I really liked looking at your face so do you want to go on a date?" - probably not. You'd probably try and get his attention a lot more subtly with a few glances and smiles etc. That's what dating app first conversations are. That sounds like a depressing outlook but it's not really. Think how many guys you would offer a flirting smile before actually getting the courage to approach one of them thanks to that 'spark' of romance. It's just a numbers game. The more people you 'smile' at, the more chance you have of meeting the right guy. As for the guy you mentioned, let him get back in touch with you if he wants to, while you keep looking around. Maybe he isn't confident enough, maybe he's playing games, maybe he met someone, maybe he 'satisfied himself' and didn't need a hook-up anymore, maybe he's just rude - but maybe you'll never know.
Ugh.. This is why I hate dating sites (although its my only option) I met a guy on a dating site and we talked on there for a few weeks and everything was going good and he finally felt comfortable enough to give me his number, we texted for a month or 2 and when I started talking about meeting up he stopped talking to me and blocked me on the dating site... Another guy I met on a dating App... We talked for a few days and exchanged numbers, then we texted for a couple weeks and I thought it was going good and then he came out and said he's not actually gay and has a girlfriend and just wants a guy to sleep with... like wtf!
