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Online Relationship

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by LakanLunti, May 12, 2016.

  1. LakanLunti

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    Anyone of you, people of EC, ever had/is having a girlfriend/boyfriend that you only see online? How did you meet? How long have been together? Did you ever had a time where you have nothing to talk about? If so, what did you do to overcome the dead air? Lastly, any tips to those who are new to this or is planning to have one?
     
  2. Embi

    Embi Guest

    I have an online relationship and it sucks, I'm not gonna lie. Maybe it doesn't when you are with a person from your own country but that's not the case for me. We met unintentionally on a site where she liked my pictures and then wrote me. We talk for about 9 months and are together since almost two. We didn't really have a time when we had no topic, it lastet a few minutes maybe and then we just send random hearts and very fast have a new topic.

    What do you want in a relationship? Because there are many things that aren't possible in an online relationship. Think about that before starting one because otherwise you'll be unhappy (like me). Also be careful and don't trust people right away. Never give your address, full name and naked pictures of yourself to that person, you never know what could happen, even if they're trustworthy in the realtionship, they could change after it ends and then you have a problem. Because you can't see that person in real life, you could watch the same tv show or movie at the same time and talk about it or read the same book and share your thoughts after every chapter or something. If you finally meet, do it in a public place and tell someone you trust where you are. Or try to find someone in person you can actually meet on a regular basis.
     
  3. Aspen

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    My girlfriend and I's relationship is about 90% online. We didn't meet in person until we'd already been dating for six months. Now she's teaching English in another country. We met on a forum for a mutual hobby and became friends. Lost touch for a while. Reconnected on Facebook and started talking. We would message every night for hours. Sure, there were moments when we didn't have anything to talk about. Days when we were too busy to really talk. But it never lasted long. She confessed her feelings for me and I admitted I had feelings for her too. She thought I would lose interest and break up within a few weeks. It'll be three years this November.

    Trust and communication are the two most important things in an online relationship. I'm not sure I would recommend an online relationship to someone unless they were friends with the person first. There is, of course, pictures and Skype and phone calls which definitely help, but there's always the risk that someone isn't who they say they are. Or that the relationship won't translate well in person. Also, I believe that an important facet of long-distance relationships is that the distance has a deadline. In order for that to happen, one or both people have to be willing to move. My girlfriend thought she was going to marry another girl before me, only for the two of them to realize neither was willing to move to the other's country. If you're dating someone local, this isn't nearly as big of a concern.
     
  4. blightedsight

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    I met my partner online.
    We first starting chatting after he accidentally clicked on my profile on *******. I was online and it said he was viewing my profile, so I sent him a message.
    He didn't actually realise he'd looked at my profile, but we struck up quite a conversation.
    We lived 300 miles apart, so it took a few months before we met in person, but we spoke every day. First on *******, then on AOL(this was only 4 years ago but he made me download). We then moved to Skype and mobile phones where we video chatted and called, until we eventually met in London.

    I definitely believe that online relationships can work, and can be positive, its just a matter of being realistic to what you want.
    If you live thousands of miles away, or on different continents and neither of you make much money, then you'll only ever, likely, have an online relationship - and in my time online, I've seen relationships like that do well*, so even thats not impossible.

    Again, as long as people maintain realistic expectations of what they want out of their relationships, and have open and honest discussions with their online partners, then they can work to some extent.

    *One friend of mine from years ago had a boyfriend in the US(my friend living in the UK), and they were together for about 3 years with only being online as their connection.
    They'd arrange dates, watch movies together and spend hours chatting. They'd even be "intimate" together - they also realised the limitations, so had an 'open' sexual relationship that served them well.
    Last time I spoke to my friend was a few years ago and I found out that they eventually met in person. Sadly, that meeting proved to be the end of their relationship but they enjoyed their relationship.
     
  5. thepandaboss

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    I've dated both of my exes long distance, met one online and if history repeats itself, I'm likely to meet the next one online as well.

    I believe they can work and for the most part, my last two relationships lasted for a pretty long time. My ex-girlfriend, who I dated when I was in high school, was a childhood friend. I asked her out online though and when my family moved across the country, we ended up dating long-distance until she ended the relationship because of some serious family issues she was having. It was a pretty emotionally distant relationship though, but we did have constant Google chat dates and emailed all the time.

    My ex-boyfriend, who I only just ended things with, I got with during a pretty rough patch in my life. We met through Facebook, dated long distance for a few months, and then I moved down to live with him (dumb mistake). Things were fine at first, pretty passionate. We FaceTimed and Skyped every night, texted constantly throughout the day. Eventually, I ran away back home and we, for whatever reason I'll never really understand, we started dating long distance again until I finally ended things.

    You really have to know what you're getting into in any relationship, but especially a long distance one. And if you're in one that makes you feel lonely and trapped, don't stick around. End it before you feel drained.
     
  6. Cedar

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    I've had 3 online relationships, most of which lasted under 4 months. It either involved me realizing that someone wasn't taking it seriously or my "friend" taking them. I dated this one guy for a while but I screwed it up but looking back on it, I don't think it was going to last anyways. I wouldn't mind trying another online relationship, so long as the other end is taking it as seriously as I am.

    I think the thing you need most is patience and understanding. Understanding that the person on the other side might not come from a similar culture as you so things might be lost with one another for a while. I don't really think there is such a thing as a stupid question, so especially if that person comes from another culture, it's best to ask those questions as they come up so you don't have a misunderstanding in the future(or atleast limit how many you have). Patience is such a wonderful thing, you might not always have the availability to take a three hour drive to see that person, maybe you need to plan in months advance a flight that can take hours.

    I'm not as experienced in LDR but I hope that helps, even a little bit.
     
    #6 Cedar, May 12, 2016
    Last edited: May 12, 2016
  7. mobrien1993

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    I've been in 2 LDRs and I'm currently in my second one.
    We met on an app for lesbians where you can talk meet friends or potential partners and there was a forum to talk on. It was all based off picture so you didn't really know the person before you talked to them.
    We have been together 2 1/2 months.
    There are times we don't have anything to talk about because there is a language barrier between us. There are also times where we may take 10-15 minutes to ask a simple question to one another because we don't understand. Usually if there is nothing to talk about ill just start asking questions then usually that will bring up something we don't know about each other.
    As far as tips just really think about what you're getting into. What are you wanting in a relationship. And what is the other person wanting in a relationship? Would it bepossible for you guys to see each other? Most importantly can you handle not being able to talk to someone for a day or even a few days and still trust them and try to make it work? How dedicated could you be to make your relationship work?
    In my relationship Monday through Thursday (and sometimes Friday)I may get to talk to my gf for a total of 20 minutes...and it while I'm working so I have to try to do 2 things at once which isn't easy with my job. Our times are completely different as well as our days Off. For example I'm off today and I'm waiting up until 2-3 am until she calls me just so I can say hi and talk for a few minutes on her way to school.
    I can't say I've never had doubts because I have. But we both do our best to make it work...nether it's waiting up for each other or waking up early to talk just for a few minutes, sending pictures and message saying and even videos...it reminds me that we both do care about each other and can make it work.