Hey all. I'm finding it very difficult to get over my social anxiety and talk to my crush. A lot of it is because I've always been turned down in the past, and part of me just feels like it's going to happen all over again. And I can't deal with that right now. She and I have become very good friends, I know she's pans, we've both bonded over terrible stuff that's happened to us. We talk every week on Facebook. I REALLY like her. I've liked her for months, actually. I try to distance myself from her but it only makes the feelings grow. She found me on her personal page and added me there. I worry for that girl with the stuff she's dealing with. I really want to tell her. But I just can't bring myself to confess. In the past, I'd tell myself to go for it, you never know the outcome. But it seems over time I've just put up a wall so that I can't let myself get hurt by rejection yet again, and I can't seem to get over this wall. Can anybody give me advice? I just want nothing more than to see her happy.
You know what hurts a lot more than rejection? Regret brought on by not trying and never knowing if she would have said yes. You've just got to woman up and not worry about what might happen. EDIT: And at least from my perspective, no matter who it is, if someone came up to me and obviously had a crush/was almost too shy to talk to me, it would be really endearing. You probably won't gross anyone out.
I agree with the previous poster -- just take a deep breath and do it, especially if you know she's pansexual. In high school I had a crush on one of my straight (male) best friends, and I still kind of regret not telling him, even though it obviously never would have worked out. Pain from rejection heals and any awkwardness that might be injected into your relationship through your confession will probably go away quickly as well, but regret tends to linger.
I do agree with you both that I should tell her… I've been told many times that it's best to just come right out and say it. The only time I never told someone was an MtF friend of mine. We lost touch but not because I liked her. She seemed to get mixed up quite a bit in relationship drama and seemed to be a woman magnet. She came up to me once and we started chatting, like we normally did. Then she said "hun, do you like me?" I panicked and shut down, trying to brush off the subject. Every now and then, the "what if" creeps up on me. I don't consider myself to be pans, but sometimes I still wonder if she had a thing for me. That is the only time I held back confessing my love, all the other times I've pushed myself to come forward. I am also unsure if this girl I am currently in love with has a boyfriend. She mentioned someone in the past. I'm getting a vibe that they are on and off. Also, he is abusive (physically too, from what I know based off what she's told me!! It makes me sick that she might be going back to him).
just tell her! im sure she already knows if she flat out asked u if u liked her..just tell her..then tell us what she says (!):icon_wink
In my opinion, if you think your friend might be in an abusive relationship, then you should try to talk to her about it if you can, regardless of your romantic feelings for her. Other people could probably give you better advice on specifically how to go about doing that, but I think simply just letting her know that you worry about her might go a long way in getting her to open up about it a little