Annoyed By Other Trans People?

Hmm well idk chase that's a tough one. I would say your friends may just be trying to rebel or maybe there are a bunch of people in your town that are trans? I mean they say trans people only make up 700,000 of the US population so? Idk I really hate it when people use sexuality or gender as something to be "trendy" because that is not something to be treated as in that way. Your friends may still be trying to figure themselves out maybe they're gender fluid? Who knows? I don't.

 

You never know how someone feels on the inside.My parents have dismissed me coming out as an explanation for my problems. Whenever they told me I can't be trans because <insert clichéd "reason">, I felt invalidated and misunderstood.The don't know my true feelings. It's so frustrating so I don't want to do the same to others.

(I know this may sound like hypocrisy 'cause I made fun of some of the overly-specific identities made on Tumblr)

 

I'm annoyed by people who present totally cis, have never once said the they feel like they are transgender, and then all the sudden turn around and say, "Oh my pronouns are (opposite of original pronouns)"

I get they might actually be transgender, and are just closeted. But when you're the more feminine / masculine person in the room, and out of the blue you say you're the opposite gender? I kind of feel like you're making fun of actual transgender people.

 

Well, gender presentation doesn't determine identity. I like my short hair, jeans, and first-person shooters. That doesn't mean I'm not trans.
I mean, whatever you think of her, Caitlyn Jenner used to be an Olympian male athlete.

 

Well true. I guess I'm just a bit flustered by some people.

Like. In my therapy group, last week EVERYONE said they have male pronouns. When the week before they all had female pronouns. That's what makes me upset, because me and another male person are openly transgender, and all the other people have said that they are perfectly happy with their born gender. So Ehhh I guess I might have over reacted a bit.

 

Nah, you didn't over-react. I thought you just meant that their gender expression was associated with their gender. I didn't know that they contradicted themselves like that. They do seem like they don't quite know what being trans means and just went "oh I guess I am" in a short while (maybe explain it to them if you feel like it). I'm not saying that they're not but they may be in questioning. I don't know them so I have no idea?
I know I seem like I'm contradicting my earlier post here. I'm saying that, while I don't know how someone feels on the inside, if they say they're not trans and a week later just say that during a conversation (which I'm guessing may have been related to trans issues?) I will get suspicious.

 

I feel the same way

 

Nah, other than the fact that a lot of trans folks carry a *ton* of baggage.

 

If there's a trend, I personally don't see it (at least, where I live).

I know only a few trans people and they're not even close friends.

There might be another reason why so many of your friends are trans, though. I don't know if you ever heard of it, but there's a theory that says that LGBT people, whether they are out or not, tend to hang out together. That explains why most of my friend circle is part of the LGBT community in some way even if they had no idea when we met. This might not be it, but it's something to take into account.

We can't know for sure if your friends are trying to follow the ''trend'', because only them will really know. If they are, though, you should know eventually.

 

I haven't noticed any such trend in my life or anything, really.

 

It could be that you ended up hanging around with all the trans people without knowing.idk.

 

I sometimes feel the same way but then you have to keep in mind that since more trans people are coming out, you probably have more cis people who are questioning their identities (and more trans people who are now figuring things out sooner, now that it's easier to access information about transitioning).

I think my biggest pet peeve is when cis people will ask for gender neutral pronouns as allies but then it turns out they don't necessarily identify as non-binary or even gender non-conforming. They're happy to identify as cis, can't see themselves any other way, but they use gender neutral pronouns for the hell of it.

I know I shouldn't be mad and it's kind of petty but pronouns aren't for fun. They're kind of a big deal for trans and non-binary people. Don't ask for someone to call you 'they' or even some other pronoun unless you need it.

I volunteer with a queer youth group and I feel like a lot of the youth act like being trans is cute and rebellious. And I feel completely terrible thinking like that but I remember I went in one week and half the girls (otherwise very femme cis girls) asked for male pronouns, then laughed about buying bras and having their periods later that meeting. And there were a few trans boys in the group and you could tell they were a little annoyed.

 

I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I guess I will anyway:
It seems to me that questioning other trans people's identities could be your mind's way of breaking down other people to reinforce your own identity, getting the reassurance you crave.

EDIT:
I don't think this is uncommon, either. I think a lot of people will doubt others or slander them in some way so they can feel superior, even if it's just through fleeting, subconscious thoughts. Just try to be aware of the way your mind works and make sure it isn't making you act like a jerk.

 

What happened at the youth group you volunteer at sounds very inappropriate for sure. I wanted to ask though about they/them pronouns and whether you think it's okay for a person who identifies as GNC to use they/them along with gendered pronouns. I know in my case I feel comfortable using both they/them and he/him and I know other people at my school who are either nonbinary or GNC that use both, and I was wondering if it would be inappropriate of me to just say that both he/him and they/them pronouns work.

 

Yeah, honestly, I think if you're GNC, gender neutral pronouns are fine. BUT if you're cis and you're NOT GNC and you're only using gender neutral pronouns from the positon that they make you look more inclusive as opposed to helping you feel more comfortable, it does annoy me. But I think if you're operating from the place where you are gender non-conforming, gender neutral pronouns help you feel a little more comfortable and you don't really care what pronouns are used, that would be alright in my book.

But yeah. I try not to volunteer there because that kind of stuff sort of annoys me. And it's encouraged. Lot of the mods talk about cis people and trans people in an 'us versus them' light and I think a lot of the non-trans kids think that if they use alternate pronouns, they'll look cooler. And one of the mods does the whole "I'm a cis lady but use gender neutral pronouns for me cause it's cooler" stuff. :tantrum: