I am prob what seems to be termed in the lesbian world as a soft tom...I have short back and sides haircut, lots of ink, muscled up through years of gym training...wear boyish clothes...but im attracted to lesbians that look like me as in short hair etc...i like the tomboy look over the girlie femme lesbian look...someone told me that it wont work going out with same kind of look!! They said you cant have 2 dominant people in a relationship...as I look around I realise that most girls who are together seem to be one boy looking one and the other the girlie one...so is this kinda true?? I know its an individual thing but do I have to change what im looking for because others that look like me wont be looking at me? Do I sound mad?? lol
I've seen plenty of instances of feminine looking lesbians being together. I've also seen couples where both women are butch. I've seen couples where I wouldn't really call either woman butch OR femme... Same with gay men. Sometimes two bears are together, sometimes two twinks. There's no rules for any of this, other than find someone you're attracted to and love them. Correct me if I'm wrong though, since I'm not a lesbian, I can only go by what I observe from the outside.
I don't think there are set rules like what you described. I think you'll find a lot of lesbians pay more attention to the personality before anything else. If you're cute on the inside they're going to think you're cute on the outside.
All depends on the person, I find both attractive, but I can't exactly give dating advice after being single forever now can I? :lol: Regardless, I just say go with it, it's all about compatibility and whether you can be happy together. I've seen plenty work out that way. The less specific anyway, the larger the dating pool? Not like it's too big to begin with. :icon_wink
thanks for your comments...yeah its about whats on the inside for sure...just checking that there wasnt some kind of "rule" I didnt know of.....ive only been out for 2 years and have only just started stepping in the scene so its all still pretty new
*facepalm* when is this stuff going to end? Not ALL of us are in a Butch/Femme type of relationship. That is old stereotypes talking there. I happen to be in a Butch/Femme pairing, and very attracted to Butch women, but that does not mean my relationship is the only way to go. I have dated Femmes, but found out that I a not attracted tot aht type. A friend of mine has a wife as Butch as her. Love has no boundries and you should date who you are attracted to.
I'm not a lesbian, but I know about 6 lesbians, and there certainly is no "rule" about relationships/physical appearance or "roles" in a relationship. Two of the lesbians are both butch, and they're engaged. The other couple is butch and femme and the other two lesbians I know are both butch, but not sure about the people they're dating, because I've never met their significant others.
There are no official rules or codes. Just be who you are and go by who you're attracted to. You don't need to put a label or overthink it. Anybody who doesn't accept you for who you are isn't worth it.
