What does it mean to you? (ladies)

[Absentminded]

This is just a question for the gay girls around here.

For the butchy types, what does it mean to you to be 'butch'?

And for the femme types here, what does it mean to you to be that way?

This was brought about by something that my gf said the other day, it was along the lines of:
"Why does it seem to be that if you cut your hair short, you're butch, and everyone knows? And if you don't wear makeup, and you try to look like guys...Can't you be feminine and be gay? And why does it matter, do you want people to know or something? Sexuality isn't something that should matter, gender is though"
It really confused me, because I've never really thought about it, and it brought about the question of what it means to be butch? Is it just in appearance, the way we talk, the way we act? What is it?
And I'm wondering the same thing for the girlier girls here.
What really makes us 'butch' or 'femme'?

[McBenz]

that's a toughey. I think it's a mix of everything you said. appearance has a lot to do with it, but they can be deceiving. The way you act and the way you think are probably the main factors. i'm not really butch but i'm also not that femme. I'm a mix or somewhere in between.
like, some butch girls are SO butch they look like dudes, that's the extreme on that end. and they act like guys too. on the other hand you have the really girlie girls that you would never expect to be gay. now that's pretty stereotypical, but it's kind of the way things are.
hmmmm...that's still kind of tough to answer lol

[DayByDay]

I think that's a tough question. I totally understand though. I consider myself a tad more of the femme side. I conduct myself in what society would consider a 'lady-like' manner, but I like when my hair is short/or long and messey and I feel most comfortable in jeans, and a baggy shirt. For appearances sake, that is where people tend to get the whole 'butch'/'femme' idea. Though it isn't always accurate.
I don't like the labels because people only use them so that don't have to look deeper. Gender is something biological. Yes, there are inherant differences between females/males. However, the roles society has associated with gender are just stupid labels that something like homosexuality utterly destroys. But within the Gay Community there are again the labels of 'femme' and 'butch'. It's just signs of laziness in my opinion. We should just get to know people better instead of judging by labels.

^ Don't know if that made any sense. Sorry. I have this huge headache and my fingers just started typing. Sorry again if this is off-topic! >.<

[carrie90]

2 me being girly is everything i might sound like a regect from 90210 but i love shopping,wearing skirts and girly clothes i spend way 2 much time doing my hair and my fav color is pink (stereotype i know lol) but its just the way i am and my gf the same maybe she a bit less high maintanance than me but she a complete girl and thats why i love her.

I respect girls who feel comfortable to be themselves nobody should be what other people want them to be

[Absentminded]

Thanks girls, these are all great responses.
Personally, I believe that it's a good mix of all of the things too. For me, being 'butch' just states that I'm more masculine than regular girls, and that I actually show it, with my appearance. And, I guess it means also tending to have more guy like mannerisms, habits, and the such. Where a lot of people don't like it, I suppose...it's just a part of who I am, that I'm unable to help.
And on another level, I suppose it means being more of the 'guy' in the relationship, and being a bit more protective. For example...where my girlfriend is a bit more on the jealous side, I'm more on the "are you okay, I don't want anyone to hurt you" side, and it balances out in its own strange way.
It's a confusing answer to explain..

[MusicIsLife]

I dont pay attention to those kinds of labels. On the outside I could be butch, since i have short hair and i never wear makeup but once you get to know me im totally a girly girl, i like shopping, i like looking good, all that stuff.

[pirateninja]

Being butch..... hmmmmm...

I guess it means that I'm willing to show it. I feel masculine, and I actually can't help but feel pleased on the many occasions that I'm mistaken for being male And I don't really care if I'm accused of "enforcing the lesbian stereotype" or "being abnormal". I am honest with myself, I am happy with how I dress and cut my hair. I feel good when I have a shirt and tie and cologne on, it's hard to explain, a lot like you know you're enjoying your favourite pastime or lesson at school. I feel happy, and I'm not willing to hide my butchiness if people don't like it. I am my true self, and that is ultimately more valuable than being your typical straight girly girl.

[Mickey]

The butch thing,again?
Okay,first,unless you're transgendered,you're a WOMAN! Your manner of dress,hairstyle,mannerisms,etc.,are just who you are. My opinion is ,IT'S NOT A ROLE!
I guess I would be considered butch,yet I see myself as more of a tomboy.
I like sweats,jeans,t-shirts,sneakers. That's just how I'm comfortable. I have been like this, since I could dress myself. My mom is very feminine. She can't go outside the door without her hair done & make-up on! My younger sister is VERY straight,yet she dresses much like I do,with the exception of dressing up "girly", when she wants to.
I also have a friend who is straight,but you'd think she's gay because she dresses like I do. I call her my little butch straight friend!
My point,(and I do have one!) is,clothes,mannerisms,etc.,mean very little,in life.
We are all WOMEN. Who really cares? When we take off our clothes,we all have the same things! Which is EXACTLY why I'm a lesbian!

[McBenz]

Originally Posted by Absentminded

For example...where my girlfriend is a bit more on the jealous side, I'm more on the "are you okay, I don't want anyone to hurt you" side, and it balances out in its own strange way.

I'm the same way! haha