So just a little context before this, I've known that I'm gay for ~3-4 years, but only accepted my self recently for who I am and I decided to embrace what I am a few weeks ago. I was at the super market yesterday with my dad and sister, and for the first time, I saw a guy there that I couldn't take my eyes off until we paid and left the store. I walked out with a grin on my face, knowing I'm finally becoming who I truly are. Anyway that's all, just wanted to share my little story. When did you guys have your first similar experience like mine?
If I'm being totally honest, probably around the age of 9. I didn't put 2+2 together at the time, but that was probably the first time for me. The pattern has continued for 31 years. :lol:
I always had crushes on girls since I was in primary school, I just didn't put the pieces together and thought I was just admiring their looks or something or having "girl crushes". Nowadays, when I find any gender attractive, I just fully accept that I would totally date them if I could :lol:
its not the first time but the earliest time I can distinctly remember doing something like that was when my mom had to get something on her car fixed and I liked the way the mechanic looked. There was another time in my biology class from sophomore year that I really liked how one of my classmates looked and I ended up not paying attention to the lab rules that were discussed that day. I can't remember which one was first though.
My freshman year of high school there was a senior that I would pass everyday with jet black hair and the most beutiful blue eyes, I would stare at him every time I would pass him and for the next hour wonder why I couldn't take my eyes off him. It wasent until a year later that I put 2+2 together and figured out I was gay.
I think I've known about my secret ever since I was small but haven't really put more thoughts into it once I was around 12 years old. When I was little, I did tried my sister's skirt. I thought it was a nice feelin' compared when I wore pants. My sister had a period many years later when she started to tease but my parents defended me by sayin': 'You were just a small kid. You were experimentin' and tried. Kids tends to do so.' If they only knew that that interest has been with me all those years and still are today. When I was 12 years old I started to think that I could keep this as a secret towards the world, but things has become harder. A short'n'brief back story there My interest of women's clothin' still resides within me and I'd love to fill out a 2nd wardrobe sometime I can't remember how many times I've passed by girls where I admire their outfits. See the skirt/dress flow in the wind and look upon the patterns and details (shadow castings, reflections if it's a shiny fabric) and wonder how it would feel like to wear it^^ If I would've been caught like that, people would think me of a creep starin' at someone's butt or boobs or anythin'. "No, no please! I just thought you had a nice outfit today. I think you look beautiful."....naaaah, I think people would think that I'm makin' horrible excuses and wouldn't buy my truth...:/
Hm I suppose my first and only major experience like that so far was with my friend in 8th grade, although it was pretty scary for me back then! Although as I've become more honest with myself, I find myself occasionally staring at people in public sometimes more.
The first one I was aware of was actually when I started my current job. One of my co-workers was so cute, I couldn't take my eyes off of him....it's worn off since he opened his mouth and said some homophobic things though.
