choice? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

diegon3 · 4th Mar 2009, 06:19 PM

I overheard my teacher and some classmates talking about this but i didn't want to join in cause no one knows i'm gay and my school can be very conservative

but i heard them saying that they say that homosexuality is a choice that were not born that way

but i do feel that i was born this way and I had no real choice in it (unless i wanted to be unhappy)

what would anyone consider in this situation a choice or just born that way and why

Alex19 · 4th Mar 2009, 06:22 PM

choice my ass. did they choose to be straight? i dont think so. sexuality is not a choice- i believe this with all my heart and soul.

**Lexington** · 4th Mar 2009, 06:22 PM

The way I put it is this.

I did not choose to BE gay. I'm attracted to guys. That's part of my wiring. That's not a choice. However, I DID choose to LIVE gay. I could have chosen to ignore that part of my programming, and date women, maybe marry, and have children. But that would most likely set up me, my wife, and my kids for a load of hurt down the line. Instead, I made a choice to live by my programming. To date guys, have sex with guys, and settle down with a guy. And that's made my life fantastic.

Lex

4th Mar 2009, 06:25 PM

Pick a day of the week and ask them to be gay on that day...when they say "no" or "we cant" then reply with "...but I thought it was a choice"

You can also ask them when they chose to be straight? And whether or not the general consensus by scientists/psychiatrists who agree that homosexuality is not a choice are wrong...is it all just a big conspiracy?

gazwkd · 4th Mar 2009, 06:27 PM

It's easy to blow them apart, I'd ask them how they could logically come to the conclusion someone has chosen to put themselves in a minority group that suffers from bigotry, hatred and homphobia on a daily basis, that doesn't have the completely same rights as others, that are persecuted and killed in many places around the world.
Who would logically 'want' to put themselves through the hell of 'coming out' and not being sure of who you are..

They would be my way of .getting the point across about it not being a choice

4th Mar 2009, 06:29 PM

and just to add, you don't have to let them know you're gay either...if they accuse you of such then maybe saying something like "listen...I'm not gay but I'm not stupid either" will get the point across

gaius · 4th Mar 2009, 06:40 PM

just a thought but if it was a choice, why would we choose all the hardship of coming out? im not gonna start a rant.......but ill have one in my head ready

antarranger · 4th Mar 2009, 06:48 PM

Even if you tell those type of people the logical truth they don't tend to listen. It is in no way a choice does anyone remember chooseing?

4th Mar 2009, 06:55 PM

It's absolutely idiotic, but for some reason a lot of people still think homosexuality is a choice. Once, my ex stepbrother talked about a guy at his school being openly gay and my stepmother (at the time) said 'that's impossible, guys that age can't be gay, that's a decision they take later in life'. I had to stifle a laugh.

gaius · 4th Mar 2009, 06:58 PM

a funny joke between me and my brother (who knows) is when my mum tells me i can't lie about anything, we have to try not to laugh!

Ryn48 · 4th Mar 2009, 06:58 PM

I agree with Lex- no one can choose who they are sexually attracted to- but we can choose whether to ignore our feelings or ignore society.

Emberstone · 4th Mar 2009, 07:48 PM

the only choice i had was to keep lieing to my family, or tell the truth to them about my sexuality.

Twentysomething · 4th Mar 2009, 09:07 PM

I can't believe that some people still think sexuality is a choice.

I just recently found this Youtube clip that had an interviewer asking random people whether they thought people were born gay or choose to be gay:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S14VRjVDPcs

It's funny how quickly some of the people realize how it doesn't make sense to say that people choose to be gay.

Greggers · 4th Mar 2009, 09:18 PM

I have to admit, it would be hard to accept that gay people dont choose to be gay if i was a heterosexual person living in a place were you never encounter homosexuality. If all you see is the news clip or two on TV every few months, then how are you to know any better? I have to feel sorry for these people who dont personally know any gay people. Its not there fault really, i blame ignorance.

....but as soon as you meet a REAL gay person, you have to be fucking ape shit retarded to think that it is a choice. I mean, honestly. COME ON! I dont go to your house, take a SHIT on your face, and tell you that you chose for that to happen. Does someone CHOOSE to be born into a poor family in the middle of Africa with no food, water, clothing or shelter? "You stupid African people choosing to be born poor" is what i should honestly start saying that to anyone who has the stupidity to tell me that i CHOSE to be this way. Look me in the eyes and tell me that please, dont sit safely away inside my TV and tell it to me because thats what cowards like that Focus on the Family fuck do. Its the stupid inter-breeding rednecks who are all closet case homo's or ex-gays saying that its a choice. "Oh look at me i choose not to be gay, until the weekends when that man i pay to join me in the vehicle comes along, but after that i choose not to be gay again!"

*ahem* er, yes. Im quite the little lady.

All done ranting...

gazwkd · 4th Mar 2009, 11:41 PM

This was from a really good documentary on religion and homosexuality:

+ YouTube Video

Stuie · 5th Mar 2009, 12:44 AM

I love that video. It's so true.
If you watch some of the videos that it links to though, it's scary!
This one guy believes that feminism causes people to be gay. "If the mother wears the pants in the family, the sons are likely to wear a skirt." GET REAL!
Who says we replace his entire wardrobe with dresses and skirts?

Peter · 5th Mar 2009, 01:29 AM

Fifty years ago, they were still people beating children to teach them to use their right hand. Apparently left-handed people chose to be left-handed - either that or they were under the influence of Satan. Stupidity moves on.

**EM68** · 5th Mar 2009, 04:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gazwkd

This was from a really good documentary on religion and homosexuality:

+ YouTube Video

That was soo funny and true. I got a good chuckle from it.

carrie90 · 5th Mar 2009, 09:20 AM

im gonna hold my hands up and admit it i did used to think homosexuality was a choice

But believe me getting together with my female best friend deffinately wasnt part of my plan lol it was only until i realised that i couldnt help my feelings that i understood it wasnt a choice and now i cant believe how stupid i was people cant help who they are and they shouldnt we should be proud

azrae1 · 5th Mar 2009, 09:47 AM

i believe that we all became gay because of our surroundings , people , friends, family , work , stress , school ,job etc... and not choice , i my self didn't choose to become gay

4th Mar 2009, 06:19 PM	#1
diegon3 just another human or am I? O_o Full Member Gender: thinks (ok so if it's..) yeah i'm a guy Orientation: thinks hummm definatly gay Out Status: imidiate family, and a few others Location: SEATTLE, WA Posts: 171 Join Date: Feb 2009	choice? I overheard my teacher and some classmates talking about this but i didn't want to join in cause no one knows i'm gay and my school can be very conservative but i heard them saying that they say that homosexuality is a choice that were not born that way but i do feel that i was born this way and I had no real choice in it (unless i wanted to be unhappy) what would anyone consider in this situation a choice or just born that way and why

4th Mar 2009, 06:22 PM	#2
Alex19 who else but me? Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: homo Out Status: I think everyone knows by now Location: New York Age: 21 Posts: 1,301 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: choice? choice my ass. did they choose to be straight? i dont think so. sexuality is not a choice- i believe this with all my heart and soul. __________________ "It's always darkest before dawn."

4th Mar 2009, 06:22 PM	#3
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: choice? The way I put it is this. I did not choose to BE gay. I'm attracted to guys. That's part of my wiring. That's not a choice. However, I DID choose to LIVE gay. I could have chosen to ignore that part of my programming, and date women, maybe marry, and have children. But that would most likely set up me, my wife, and my kids for a load of hurt down the line. Instead, I made a choice to live by my programming. To date guys, have sex with guys, and settle down with a guy. And that's made my life fantastic. Lex

4th Mar 2009, 06:25 PM	#4
tazz Guest Posts: n/a	Re: choice? Pick a day of the week and ask them to be gay on that day...when they say "no" or "we cant" then reply with "...but I thought it was a choice" You can also ask them when they chose to be straight? And whether or not the general consensus by scientists/psychiatrists who agree that homosexuality is not a choice are wrong...is it all just a big conspiracy?

4th Mar 2009, 06:27 PM	#5
gazwkd Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Civilian friends, all family Location: Currently in Afghan until June 2011 :( limited net Posts: 83 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: choice? It's easy to blow them apart, I'd ask them how they could logically come to the conclusion someone has chosen to put themselves in a minority group that suffers from bigotry, hatred and homphobia on a daily basis, that doesn't have the completely same rights as others, that are persecuted and killed in many places around the world. Who would logically 'want' to put themselves through the hell of 'coming out' and not being sure of who you are.. They would be my way of .getting the point across about it not being a choice

4th Mar 2009, 06:29 PM	#6
tazz Guest Posts: n/a	Re: choice? and just to add, you don't have to let them know you're gay either...if they accuse you of such then maybe saying something like "listen...I'm not gay but I'm not stupid either" will get the point across

4th Mar 2009, 06:40 PM	#7
gaius EC's Geordie Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: bi/gay Out Status: Out to friends, family and anyone who wants to kno Location: Lancaster University Age: 22 Posts: 397 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: choice? just a thought but if it was a choice, why would we choose all the hardship of coming out? im not gonna start a rant.......but ill have one in my head ready __________________ "Life happens without warning"

4th Mar 2009, 06:48 PM	#8
antarranger Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: North Carolina Age: 19 Posts: 115 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: choice? Even if you tell those type of people the logical truth they don't tend to listen. It is in no way a choice does anyone remember chooseing?

4th Mar 2009, 06:55 PM	#9
Mysterons Guest Posts: n/a	Re: choice? It's absolutely idiotic, but for some reason a lot of people still think homosexuality is a choice. Once, my ex stepbrother talked about a guy at his school being openly gay and my stepmother (at the time) said 'that's impossible, guys that age can't be gay, that's a decision they take later in life'. I had to stifle a laugh.

4th Mar 2009, 06:58 PM	#10
gaius EC's Geordie Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: bi/gay Out Status: Out to friends, family and anyone who wants to kno Location: Lancaster University Age: 22 Posts: 397 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: choice? a funny joke between me and my brother (who knows) is when my mum tells me i can't lie about anything, we have to try not to laugh! __________________ "Life happens without warning"

4th Mar 2009, 06:58 PM	#11
Ryn48 Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Not sure (still trying to figure it out) Out Status: 5 of my closest friends. Location: Tennessee Age: 21 Posts: 42 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: choice? I agree with Lex- no one can choose who they are sexually attracted to- but we can choose whether to ignore our feelings or ignore society.

4th Mar 2009, 07:48 PM	#12
Emberstone Flappychap Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Oregon, USA Age: 28 Posts: 5,587 Join Date: May 2008	Re: choice? the only choice i had was to keep lieing to my family, or tell the truth to them about my sexuality.

4th Mar 2009, 09:07 PM	#13
Twentysomething Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to 4!! Hopefully more soon! Location: Iowa Age: 25 Posts: 25 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: choice? I can't believe that some people still think sexuality is a choice. I just recently found this Youtube clip that had an interviewer asking random people whether they thought people were born gay or choose to be gay: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S14VRjVDPcs It's funny how quickly some of the people realize how it doesn't make sense to say that people choose to be gay. __________________ "There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart. Pursue these." ~Michael Nolan

4th Mar 2009, 09:18 PM	#14
Greggers Sunshine & Optimism ...also Angels. Full Member Gender: Theatre Queen Orientation: Disco Sticks Out Status: Everyone and a few more Location: BC, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 3,528 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: choice? I have to admit, it would be hard to accept that gay people dont choose to be gay if i was a heterosexual person living in a place were you never encounter homosexuality. If all you see is the news clip or two on TV every few months, then how are you to know any better? I have to feel sorry for these people who dont personally know any gay people. Its not there fault really, i blame ignorance. ....but as soon as you meet a REAL gay person, you have to be fucking ape shit retarded to think that it is a choice. I mean, honestly. COME ON! I dont go to your house, take a SHIT on your face, and tell you that you chose for that to happen. Does someone CHOOSE to be born into a poor family in the middle of Africa with no food, water, clothing or shelter? "You stupid African people choosing to be born poor" is what i should honestly start saying that to anyone who has the stupidity to tell me that i CHOSE to be this way. Look me in the eyes and tell me that please, dont sit safely away inside my TV and tell it to me because thats what cowards like that Focus on the Family fuck do. Its the stupid inter-breeding rednecks who are all closet case homo's or ex-gays saying that its a choice. "Oh look at me i choose not to be gay, until the weekends when that man i pay to join me in the vehicle comes along, but after that i choose not to be gay again!" ahem er, yes. Im quite the little lady. All done ranting... __________________ "It's a male duck."

5th Mar 2009, 12:44 AM	#16
Stuie Hugs - $POA Full Member Gender: e^(πi) +1 = 0 Orientation: Schnoo Out Status: Moo Cow Location: Canberra, Australia Age: 19 Posts: 1,463 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: choice? I love that video. It's so true. If you watch some of the videos that it links to though, it's scary! This one guy believes that feminism causes people to be gay. "If the mother wears the pants in the family, the sons are likely to wear a skirt." GET REAL! Who says we replace his entire wardrobe with dresses and skirts? __________________ STRAAAAAAAAAAAWURUWERT AND THE LESBIANS! MADDATRON3000X's (Maddy) Fag Hag Loves Pauline in the form of the equation f(x): (-∞,2) -> R, 2^-x

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5th Mar 2009, 01:29 AM	#17
Peter Just a guy Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Anyone who is interested Location: Milton Keynes, England Age: 56 Posts: 474 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: choice? Fifty years ago, they were still people beating children to teach them to use their right hand. Apparently left-handed people chose to be left-handed - either that or they were under the influence of Satan. Stupidity moves on. __________________ Peter "God leaves us free to become whatever we like. We can be ourselves or not, as we please. We are at liberty to be real, or to be unreal. We may be true or false, the choice is ours." (Thomas Merton)

5th Mar 2009, 09:20 AM	#19
carrie90 The square root of 4 is rainbows Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay Out Status: everybody really Location: Originally Montana but currently San Fransisco Age: 21 Posts: 1,327 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: choice? im gonna hold my hands up and admit it i did used to think homosexuality was a choice But believe me getting together with my female best friend deffinately wasnt part of my plan lol it was only until i realised that i couldnt help my feelings that i understood it wasnt a choice and now i cant believe how stupid i was people cant help who they are and they shouldnt we should be proud __________________ I empower my Cheerios to live in fear by creating an enviorment of irrational, random terror -Sue Sylvester

5th Mar 2009, 09:47 AM	#20
azrae1 EC's Arab resident Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Lost count xD; Location: Abu Dhabi Age: 22 Posts: 286 Join Date: Jan 2009	Re: choice? i believe that we all became gay because of our surroundings , people , friends, family , work , stress , school ,job etc... and not choice , i my self didn't choose to become gay