since childhood i have always felt guilty for being white and having a stable home. i remember my friend calling my family a "Cartoon family" - which shouldn't be an insult at all but i felt incredibly sad and guilty and still remember it years later! i know this is selfish to express but i wondered if anyone knew why/what to do about it?
You shouldn't feel guilty. Most people have no family or they have an unstable family. Not every family is perfect. And besides, isn't it better to have a stable family instead of one that argues or fights all the time?
If you got your color and home through shady means, please report to your nearest law enforcement office for questioning about skin and home theft. If not.. *smacks you on the head* Regain your senses and don't feel guilty over circumstances you had no choice in.
Clearly you've fallen victim to the shaming tactic known as white guilt. There is nothing wrong with your clinal variation (a fancy way of saying skin color due to how far away your ancestors lived from the sun), nor is there anything wrong with your parents decided to stick around and do a decent job of raising you. You should be thankful to them for that, but that's it. The concept of white guilt is akin to original sin, which is an evil concept. Being born with a slight against you is a horrible, ill-liberal concept. NEVER be apologetic for your skin color.
I would view it as more luck. It's nice to have a good and stable family, Just try and view it as more being lucky since there are many people who don't have a nice family and be happy. I can tell you're a good person so just try and stay happy with those you love.
Why would you feel guilty? I mean, when you get down to it, most of us have it better than someone else in some way. At the very least, you'll be in a better position to pass those good habits down to the next generation, should you choose to do so, and act as a role model for those of us who might not have been so lucky.
Your line of thinking is off. Be grateful for what you have, work to be better and try to help those less fortunate than yourself.
Judging others based on the color of their skin is ridiculous, regardless if you are looking at a black or white person. The idea of "white people are evil" and "black people are always victims" is a lazy generalization. Obviously, prejudice is still common in our society, unfortunately. However, we can't fight against it by dividing people even more. We are all equal, regardless of skin color. And, about having a stable family, that's not bad either. Of course, it is always important to remember and worry about those who weren't so lucky (and, more important than worrying is doing something about it, either by donating, educating people, voluntary work, etc.). You aren't a bad person for being part of a stable family. In resume: Don't feel guilty, you aren't doing anything wrong (i hope ).
We all have things we feel guilty about when we shouldn't because any kind of privilege is seen as thinking people are 'above' others. As a brown person with divorced parents I'm reinforcing that you have no reason for really guilty and you need to try to get rid of that mindset. I understand it's difficult though. I've been lucky enough to have been brought up with everything I want, my parents have provided more than enough for me even though we're still middle class. When I hear about people who are poorer talk about not being able to get things that I don't have to worry about it makes me feel like I'm a shitty person. I can't help that my parents have provided for me, you can't help that you're white and have a happy family, we should stop dwelling on things that we can't help and think about things that make us happy instead.
Well, look at it this way. If you didn't have a supportive, stable family you'd likely just end up another statistic--a disenfranchised gay youth smoking meth, having casual sex and likely infected with some STD, contemplating suicide. Remember: gratefulness precedes happiness, not the other way around.
