Hi, I mean absolutely no offence, with this question to my fellow queers, but has anyone ever succeeded in liking the other sex, when you identify as gay/lesbian? Can you still suddenly get feelings for a man( gay woman here), when you've noticed only women for most of your life( I'm in my twenties.) Sexuality is fluid, in a sense right? I honestly don't mean to insult guys( you're lovely), but I can't find... physical traits that should attract me to them. Like women have curves and soft features, but men? The only thing I can think of is abs and maybe eyes. Like I can say: that guy's handsome, but I don't get like: " ooh, I want to do something with him." I appreciate nice guys, but I'm only ever friends with them. Maybe I need to sex up my image? My problem is just that I always have to deal with people judging me and condoning me, for my " choice" Or flat out ignoring that part of me, which hurts. I long to be attracted to men, everything would be much easier. Like all the couples that I ship are either subtext or some pecks on the lips at most ( take glee for instance) And actresses who play lesbians seem to always make a joke out of it: " Oh yeah, I've kissed girls in real life... sooo fun. And my boyfriend likes it too." At least with some gay male characters, the guys are gay IRL: you know where you stand with them. Girls are just so ambiguous and frustrating. I want to be into guys and connect with my friends. This sexuality thing just stands in the way of my happiness.:tears:
Yeah, my post might've been insulting or ridiculous to some, but this is how I feel at the moment. Ever since I really realized I like girls, I can't go back to how things were and forgetting that part of me. I could handle it, when I still thought I was bi. Plus, I get stigmatized and insulted by people that are supposed to love me. Every flipping lesbian/bi character is straight IRL, it's still taboo, when to me it's the most beautiful thing ever. I'm the minority and have to adapt to everyone around me getting a boyfriend and me being alone with my cats, like a sad excuse for a human being. How am I supposed to find someone like this? I try to move on and enjoy myself, but I keep coming back in circles to this part of me that I myself and others don't accept. It fucking sucks!
um, "Force" may not be the word..but I have heard of attractions developing; not typically based sexually, but based out of a relationship. Still I'd imagine thats extremely rare.
Okay here's what I've got to say. Forcing your self to do something you're not even remotely interested in doing, just so that you could fit in with the hetero world, isn't going to help you. Don't go there. You're only going to get depressed. You mention a lot about being upset with lesbian and bi characters being portrayed by straight women, I think you need to stop focusing on the straight media and turn to other forms instead. A lot of lesbian/bi representation in TV shows/movies are crap, so I don't even watch much of it anyway. There are A LOT of lesbian webseries on Youtube that are actually portrayed be real life lesbians, and they are much, much better than the Hollywood stuff. Or you can even follow some of the popular lesbian Youtuber channels out there, that focus on girl-on-girl content. Just type in "lesbian webseries youtube" and "lesbian youtubers". You can also try reading novels with lesbians in it or take up on gaming that feature lesbian characters/relationships (although not many, but still good). Also, get new friends, and I mean lesbian or bisexual ladies. If you don't know any, ask around, (or people you're out to). I can bet you that you'll meet some that can help you get together or something. Do you have a job? Maybe one of your coworkers is a lesbian. Have you been to any support groups for LGBT? You can try that, or see if there are any LGBT events going on in your city, or what about clubs/bars for LGBT?
You don't have to relate to others in that way to be happy. Take, for example, any other trait or talent or hobby you have that isn't like that of your friends. It doesn't make you unhappy. You have a unique set of traits and preferences and that's okay. You don't have to relate when it comes to guys, and you may meet other people who you can relate to with liking girls. You as a person are not wrong in any way. Your feelings are not wrong. We all have things we wish we had/could do and things we wish we didn't have and weren't able to do. But that doesn't change anything and the best thing you can do is learn to be happy with the cards you're dealt. Honestly, watching lesbian youtubers has made me really, really like being into girls instead of guys (even though I'm still questioning), so maybe try that. Immerse yourself more. Find positives. Forcing something that isn't there does not work. Even if you could somehow act as though you liked someone you didn't, it wouldn't make you happy. You'd always feel like you were being dishonest if you knew the guy you were with was in love with you. That's not how you want it to be, just so you can relate/make other aspects of your life a bit easier. Trust me, I have tried hard to force feelings that aren't there. It gets you nowhere, and the longer you hold out false hope that you can, the longer it will take before you can start accepting yourself for who you are.
Everyone has their own opinion but only you know what's best for yourself. Some people have to hide their sexuality and live a false life to avoid physical abuse which is sad but I hope it will never be that serious for u. Be happy with yourself first and whoever you fall in love with, even if it's only possible with the same gender, is between y'all. If people truly love you they'll understand that.
So here is my 2 cents on the subject. Late last year I came out. Earlyer this year, due to pressure from my parents and best friend, I ended up dating my best friend. Long story short the relationship lasted a little less than a month before I ended it, I couldn't take faking liking her any longer and it ended up destroying our friendship. To sum it all up, forcing your self to like the opposite sex when you obviously don't is a terrible thing and can only end badly. This is of course not including bi people and others of that sort, I speak of purley homosexual people.
