Did you come out publicly or gradually?

I came out as trans deliberately to my parents, by writing a letter. Unfortunately, because I am not independent of them yet, they "decided" I wasn't trans and there was basically a shit-storm until I recanted. So yes I came out, but have been forced back in the closet.

A part of me wishes I had come out publicly all at once, because then I probably would've stood firm in it. I only came out privately because I wanted them to adjust to the idea and hopefully accept me, which didn't happen. Anyway. I will have to come out again in the next year, once I move out. It'll still be bad, but at least I won't have to stay and lie about it anymore.

My coming-out story isn't that bright, I realize. But this is not usually the case. More often than naught you will have a swell of support from at least someone, sometimes where you'd least expect it.

If I were you, I'd come out publicly. Though only if you can do so safely. If there is threat from family or otherwise, it would probably be better to edge out by telling only trusted people until you are confident and comfortable.

 

I would never do it publicly as I don't like people knowing my business. I do however tell people important to me but I usually just let others figure out (most people don't except for other gays) I've only really been outed once when one of my friends asked and I said yes but she didn't really tell anyone else.

 

Came out to my best friend, then my mom a few months later, more friends two months after that, my mom let it slip to my aunts, then on New Years I came out on facebook

 

Like Andrew, I wouldn't post stuff of this nature on Facebook. Now, I won't lie and say I haven't contemplated posting it on Facebook. I have thought about it, but then I figured it's not worth that much effort and I am really not the type of person to have that sort of information on Facebook. Now when I did come out to my parents, I came out through a letter. My mom kind of was distraught but she's fine now. My dad, however, is pretending nothing happened. But anyway, after I came out to them, I didn't explicitly tell them but came out by what I would talk about. I will never forget the following: One of my friends wanted to know about my love life and I answered 'no' to every female she asked if I liked them. She then texted me, 'are you gay' :lol: I was like yea. So I tell people, I will not make it public i.e., post it on Facebook. As far as I know, I have not been outed. If I have, it really doesn't matter to me.

 

Take it slow. It is better in almost all cases. For example, I have an accepting immediate family, but everyone who isn't immediate isn't as accepting. I decided to tell people I knew would be ok with it, and the others can find out when the time comes. Hope that helped.

 

I came out to my close friends, then stopped caring and let gossip do its job.

 

Honestly, I really respect all you lads that could muster up the courage and come out of the closet. I dont think I would ever want to do that.

 

I personally "look gay" (such a wrong thing to say but it's true) so there were a couple of rumors... I told my best friends and slowly started talking to them about hot girls on the street, some kids in my school overheard and it just rolled from there. It's slow but sure enough people will know.

 

It's on my Facebook but I do not announce it. I recenty told my friend on Facebook and she said she already knew (but didn't see it on my Fb) D=

 

Just told people and stuff. I do have two fb accounts though, one that's my old one, and one with my new name. On my new one I only have people I'm out to on it (and a few people who assume I'm cis female).

I set so that people aren't supposed to see my new account unless I send them a friend request... I think... yet I worry if people might see it and be like "hmm... that looks a bit like [...], and she even has the same last name!" or so... eh...

 

First I started presenting more androgynous without saying anything. Then I started hinting and being more open about my interests. Then after about a year I came out to five or six good friends in the space of two days. It was a huge relief just to be able to say it to them. Then I came out to a few other people. I come out here and there. I guess that's gradually.

 

Gradually. For me it'd be too overwhelming to do it all at once. 3 people (+2 accidents) over 5 years sounds pretty damn gradual to me :lol:

 

I told my parents and then I just started living. People found out--it was cool.

 

gradually. I am still coming out.

 

It was kind of different for me. I came out to a few of my friends, my Mom, and my Aunt and then I asked if they could tell the rest of my family because my family lives in a bunch of different places and I also didnt know how they would react. I was afraid of what they would say yet I also desperately wanted for them to know. Since then, it's been gradual with a few other friends.

 

I'm currently going through this and it's been very gradual.

 

Told a couple of close friends early on, then told my mother about a year and a half later then gradually everybody found out.

It wasn't really a great shock to anybody to be honest.

 

Gradual, kind of outed.

1. I didn't have a way to come out publicly
2. I accidentally got into a situation where I had to come out to my mom, the first I came out to, then later to my sister and my dad.
3. I have two friends who don't agree with LGBTQ people (but luckily, they're mature enough to say that that doesn't mean they should be mean about it and keep it to themselves). I also have a few friends whose opinions I don't know.
4. I'm shy

Then, my mom posted a couple pictures of me on Facebook wearing a shirt with the ace flag. Maybe people might not know or look up the meaning, and if they do, hopefully they're accepting.

 

I came out pretty gradually over the course of a couple years. Friends were first to know, came out to brother then mother, who then outed me to my grandma and dad. The rest of my family (very supportive by the way) found out after I friended them with my new account on Facebook.