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How to meet people for dating or friends?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by 108, Jul 3, 2016.

  1. 108

    108
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    I'm so clueless about how someone who comes out a little later than normal is meant to make gay/queer friends or begin dating? I've had some success meeting guys with ******, but while it seems so easy to find hookups, simple platonic friends or guys more romantically motivated seem hard to find.

    So, how do gay guys (or ladies) find partners and friends, especially when they didn't come out at a young age? I've built my own social circle over the years, which is mostly cisgender straight people, but how do I break away? I've thought about the local gay bars, but honestly I'm a little shy and it's intimidating to leap in. I often become a fly on the wall in social situations.

    What has your experiences been like, and how did you break out to become more social, find friends, dates, etc?
     
  2. Houdini

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    I am in a similar situation: came out a littler later than usual and I am also a bit shy. It helped me to make gay friends first. I got to know them in my soccer club (yes some clichés are true :wink: ) And with them I went out to some gay events (I would have never attended them alone). Met a friend of a friend etc. and am kind of dating her now.
    So I became more social because of new friends who gave me new confidence.
     
  3. 108

    108
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    If only I had some sort of club to utilize, there's not many gay people in the places/crowds I generally find myself. It's difficult using websites and things because everyone simply wants to hookup, and I'm looking platonic friends, or maybe romantic for the right person, but mostly simple friends to get out of the house with and feel comfortable.
     
  4. Davey

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    Websites and Apps are almost he worst to find friends or romance anymore. When I first came out it was really easy to find friends and conversation. Now it seems like everyone just wants to hookup.

    My suggestion is to find a local gay bar and follow their Facebook page. It's not the best way but you'd be surprised how easy you can make friends on there. It's basically like going to a virtual bar that way. Then if things go well you can progress to meeting in person. Just as always be safe.
     
  5. Chiroptera

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  6. thepandaboss

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    Yeah, I agree. Even two years ago I could have convos with people on apps. Now it's like I either seem to only match up with people with the conversational skills of a toothpick or everyone's like that now. It's kinda weird and depressing.

    But really, try to network. Not just good for a job. Make new friends, go out. Eventually you'll get lucky.
     
  7. 108

    108
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    Hah, "make new friends and go out" is not really an answer to "how do I make new friends and go out?".

    ---------- Post added 5th Jul 2016 at 08:12 PM ----------

    I didn't think about following the FB page, that's easy enough and not a common thing to suggest. Thanks!
     
  8. mtnmeggles

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    I'm still trying to navigate this myself. If you're in college, maybe join their gay-straight alliance club if they have one? Also, maybe look for LGBT Facebook or Meetup groups in your town or general area (that's what I've been doing). Just do more of the things you like to do and you shouldn't have a hard time finding other like-minded folks.
     
  9. 108

    108
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    I'm unfortunately past college age. It seems difficult to make new friends as you get older, past those formative teenage years and early 20s, much less a specific kind of friend, heh...