Drag Queens

[davo-man]

This topic has come up tangentially in a couple of threads and it got me a-wondering. Why is it that some people have problems with drag queens? I'm not looking to look down upon those who do, more just interested into why?

To be honest, I used to be quite intimidated by them, as well as transgenders in general. I think, for me, it was lack of exposure to these types of people that kinda made me wary of them. However, after being on this site for a while and being to a gay club a couple of times, I realised I couldn't care less about what people wear and just to enjoy the drag show

Anyway, for some examples, I thought I would get some fabulous songs to get the discussion going

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[jangel]

Your right Fabulous songs. thanks for posting. I think you hit the nail on the head with its just lack of exposure and intimidation (because when the glam comes off a queen could be standing next to you at the bar like every other person and you would never know)..but I can't really comment I LOVE KINGS AND QUEENS but I am also interested to hear other people responses to this post. -Jen

[Miles D]

I actually had my ex-bf tell me he slapped a guy because he overhead the guy saying that transgender people are "creepy." This really shocked me; I mean, I can't imagine thinking a whole group of people are one certain way, good or bad.
But, anyways, thanks for this thread. I definitely think people are creeped out because of lack of exposure, which can happen to any type of people.

[Lexington]

Your guess is the same as mine.

I think some gay guys fear drag queens for the same reason some straight guys fear gay guys. There's a fear that "we might be like that", and that if we fully embrace who we really are, we'll end up like that. But as we get to know them, we see them just as regular folks who, yes, may be different from us in what they do and what they like, but are regular folks nonetheless.

Lex

[xequar]

Ah drag queens... I have a good friend in Toronto that makes his living doing drag shows. Last time I was up there (staying at he and his husband's place), my boyfriend and I went to his show, and let me just put it like this. He made enough in one night to pay his rent for the month between the fee the bar pays him (he does a weekly show there) and the tips. There were people literally putting both Canadian and American 20s into the bucket (that he sets out as part of the opening of his act). He also has been the MC of Windsor Pride for the last couple of years. He's very good at what he does.

Speaking of which, Toronto in the village, Woody's, Sundays at 6:30 or 7:00 (I forget which)-Miss Conception. It's a great act, so go watch it, and tip generously!

Most drag acts are just that, and they're part of a party atmosphere. People don't generally go out and get hammered every single day, but they just might get really hammered at a party. People don't normally eat all sorts of hors' de'vours, but they do at a party. A number of drag acts are much the same thing, something you don't do all the time, but enjoy at a party.

I don't mind drag queens, however when I go to a bar or club I would rather not see a show, it's not my thing.

I avoid gay bars that have them now.

[Geist]

to me it really is whatever floats your boat. I don't care if someone likes to dress in drag or whatever so long as they are a good person.

Though personally I don't get how a drag show would be entertaining though I have never gone to one so I wouldn't really know.

[DayByDay]

Having not hit 'the scene’ yet, I’ve not had an exposure to Queens or Kings, but I look forward to the day I can. They seem like such fun people!

Ha, I loved the RENT video. Wow, the applause for Angel was impressive!

I'm more afraid of straight guys then Drag Queens.

[Markio]

My mom likes this movie called Kinky Boots about a boot factory that is going to go out of business until they realize they could market to drag queens by making female designs in men's styles. My mom said that she likes the movie because drag queens aren't necessarily gay or feel like women just because they dress in a different manner. I think she means that it recognizes cross-dressers as a form of gender expression instead of gender identity or sexual orientation.
Despite all this, I get the feeling that she likes "those people" in movies or on film, but not necessarily in her reality. Hence the closet...
I think drag looks fun. Not that I have an urge to do it frequently, but it looks fun to try at least once. I've heard of drag balls, where you and your date dress in the manner of the opposite gender. Fun!

Simply put, I love drag. I think it's fun and sexy.
This is probably my favourite thing ever.

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[Emberstone]

And it isnt even something that is really only within gay circles.

I knew a few straight men who were cross dressers.

Personally, I wouldnt go in drag unless maybe it was for a good cause, like to raise awareness or for charity. It really doesnt appeal to me as something I would do myself. However, I do not see anything wrong about it.

I guess I could say I don't understand it, when someone's gender identity conflicts with their sexual identity it's definitely something that I'm no expert it and will not even pretend I understand the internal struggles they go through. I just sort of wish they'd be themselves more often as opposed to crossdressing on every odd day.

I also think that drags and gays are all too often used interchangeable, they're two different kinds of things...but like all people they're different in their own unique ways and should be respected as such.

[Shevanel]

Originally Posted by tazz

I guess I could say I don't understand it, when someone's gender identity conflicts with their sexual identity it's definitely something that I'm no expert it and will not even pretend I understand the internal struggles they go through. I just sort of wish they'd be themselves more often as opposed to crossdressing on every odd day.

I also think that drags and gays are all too often used interchangeable, they're two different kinds of things...but like all people they're different in their own unique ways and should be respected as such.

But they ARE being themselves. that's why they're dressing the way they do in the first place.

Listen, I don't want to ruin this topic with an argument (we'll keep the arguments in the gay pride thread) and enough people already think I'm an asshole...but if I had to respond I'd probably have to disagree with you.

If they crossdress (ie: to feel comfortable) then why don't they stay as the sex they feel most comfortable with all the time (that is, their gender identity)...if they want to feel comfortable, then they should be the gender they're comfortable with as opposed to having to crossdress each time to accommodate those feelings.

Maybe someone here who crossdresses could answer this question instead, I haven't met many of you guys and would like to see your side

So Tazz, you're saying if a man cross dresses in public then he needs to do so in his own home too? Hmm, well I think that is akin to this:

When you're at home do you wear jeans, a dress shirt, shoes and socks all day? Probably not. There's no reason to get dressed unless you're going to be near people. I think, and I am no expert, that it's like that.

[Shevanel]

Originally Posted by tazz

Listen, I don't want to ruin this topic with an argument (we'll keep the arguments in the gay pride thread) and enough people already think I'm an asshole...but if I had to respond I'd probably have to disagree with you.

If they crossdress (ie: to feel comfortable) then why don't they stay as the sex they feel most comfortable with all the time (that is, their gender identity)...if they want to feel comfortable, then they should be the gender they're comfortable with as opposed to having to crossdress each time to accommodate those feelings.

Maybe someone here who crossdresses could answer this question instead, I haven't met many of you guys and would like to see your side

Ok I'm not starting an argument either, nor do I want to at all. I just think you are misunderstanding. There is a difference between Gender Identity and A person's physical sex. Your physical sex is basically if you have a penis or a vagina. if your a man or a woman. Gender Identity is who YOU are. it isn't a set thing. its a wide spectrum, that varies greatly. and it could be completely opposite of your sex. trust me, it IS hard to understand. I hope you understand better now though

Cross dressing does not equal gender identity.

I have nothing against them. I don't think I'd really enjoy going to a drag show, though. I'd rather do it myself or be around friends doing it, I guess. It seems more fun that way.

Originally Posted by tazz

Listen, I don't want to ruin this topic with an argument (we'll keep the arguments in the gay pride thread) and enough people already think I'm an asshole...but if I had to respond I'd probably have to disagree with you.

If they crossdress (ie: to feel comfortable) then why don't they stay as the sex they feel most comfortable with all the time (that is, their gender identity)...if they want to feel comfortable, then they should be the gender they're comfortable with as opposed to having to crossdress each time to accommodate those feelings.

Maybe someone here who crossdresses could answer this question instead, I haven't met many of you guys and would like to see your side

Being yourself does not mean being the same thing every day. In my opinion, that's extremely boring. Cross dressing occasionally doesn't mean you're betraying yourself. It's an expression of yourself. Just like people can be happy one day, and depressed another. That doesn't mean that either of those is the "real" emotion, and that when they display the other they're not being themselves; it just means that people are going to express themselves differently at different times.

[Shevanel]

Originally Posted by Myke

Cross dressing does not equal gender identity.

Also true

Originally Posted by The Enigma

So Tazz, you're saying if a man cross dresses in public then he needs to do so in his own home too? Hmm, well I think that is akin to this:

When you're at home do you wear jeans, a dress shirt, shoes and socks all day? Probably not. There's no reason to get dressed unless you're going to be near people. I think, and I am no expert, that it's like that.

I really don't know, I don't have any personal friends that crossdress so I can't tell you. Do they enjoy being half/half in terms of their life or not? I'm not exactly sure...

Because I read a lot of posts by people who say "when they crossdress it's who they are and they're happy" - I'm trying to do them a favor by having them be happy all the time as who they are, so they won't exactly have to crossdress to be happy...instead they could be happy all the time.

Originally Posted by SurferDude420

Ok I'm not starting an argument either, nor do I want to at all. I just think you are misunderstanding. There is a difference between Gender Identity and A person's physical sex. Your physical sex is basically if you have a penis or a vagina. if your a man or a woman. Gender Identity is who YOU are. it isn't a set thing. its a wide spectrum, that varies greatly. and it could be completely opposite of your sex. trust me, it IS hard to understand. I hope you understand better now though

I know exactly what it means, I didn't just pull these definitions from nowhere...gender identity and a person's anatomical sex are completely different terms...I just wanted to know why someone would go against their gender identity for 50% (or more) of the time. Maybe they're being typecasted and feel they have to conform to their anatomical sex, I'm trying to say that shouldn't be the case.

Originally Posted by Myke

Cross dressing does not equal gender identity.

Well I guess in that case those of us who are not necessary fond of crossdressing should not be criticized as homophobic (as I was called in the other thread) for not supporting crossdressing.

But, in all honestly, I really don't care what people do