The Term "passing"

I do agree there could be a better term, sort of how "Straight" implies "Normal or Correct", but I suppose it's what everyone is used to by now.

 

I guess it's sort of like a school test; you know you're smart but to prove it to society you gotta pass their test. As a hermit alone in the wilderness you alone control your identity and there's no society to dictate that to you. Living within a society does not remove your right to self-identify, but if you want to have that validated by society you have to "pass" their test. "Passing" implies society perceives you as you want to be seen (I'm assuming since the OP is asexual this deals with gender identity).

"Passing" can imply your faking it, but it also can also imply a threshold. I doubt most trans people who don't transition (in any way) are perceived by their true gender (by society). It takes various steps to slowly achieve "passing," like a journey to self-actualization.

 

It is interesting that this is the standard term considering how "careful" trans terminology otherwise is. I've said before I can pass for younger; I'm not younger, I will never be younger. But I can pass for something I'm not. That's what I think of when I think of the term, but I suppose it does not always have to refer to being regarded as something you're not.

 

Maybe it's just me, but it's one of those few terms that actually relax me. :/ I mean, it's probably because at my age, I pass pretty well for a guy, but maybe I'll think of it differently if, a few years down the line, I'm still not on T and all the dudes around me are rocking giant beards and playing aggressive sports.

 

I think it does have the implication that an arbitrary set of standards about physicality/attractiveness/acceptability are being applied, but at the same time those standards are inside us, too, so I can see the pull of being accepted not just as a person of your gender but as a Very Socially Acceptable Member of your gender. I'm not sure much emphasis needs to be placed on passing... although I recognize that not passing can be very physically dangerous in many cases... without addressing the very idea of what is acceptably this gender or that gender, or if we even need to concern ourselves as human being with such things. I know I see a lot of comments from people concerned about not passing if they transition and having that as a big block but you transition for yourself, because you have to live as authentically as you possibly can. And not every cisgender person "passes" once we start applying these standards.

So really, what makes you happy? Being judged by others or being true to yourself?

And in full disclosure, I am also a person who has thought a lot about my "passability," and not just that, but whether or not I'm attractive to others as a woman. So I can have these misgivings about it and still have these ideas stuck in my mind.

 

To me, passing means passing for cis-gender. I consider myself a girl but I'm not a cis-girl. I understand that some may find it invalidating but I honestly can't think of a different term. Maybe stealth. Although that could be interpreted the same way.

 

I don't mind the term. It gives me an aim, something to strive for. Transition, for me, means being perceived without a doubt as a guy. Once I pass I believe that life will become easier as I'll be able to live in stealth and not have to stress about things that 'non-passing' trans-people do (which is a lot). I mean if you don't like that term specifically and still want to convey the meaning then 'being read' as the correct gender is an alternative.

 

in my opinion "passing" is a good thing, its like a slowing down point for trans people, like a check point till the next phase of life. i personally dont take passing as an offensive term.

 

Given 'to pass for' is more or less synonymous with 'to successfully present as' or 'to be perceived as', I think it's totally fine, especially given that the metric is passing for a cisgender person of the gender you present as.

If you're uncomfortable using it, though, you might just have to use more words to flesh out what you're describing. I don't think most people find the term unpleasant, though.

 

Unfortunately, the opposite of "passing" is "failing." At least in a pass/fail system.

 

^ Yes, but fail doesn't have to be bad. Okay, so they fail to look cis. That's all it's saying by definition. I think this post is looking way too deeply into a very minor thing.

 

Until someone gets beaten for not passing in a bathroom.

 

I don't see how that has to do with the term itself AT ALL.

 

Non-passing trans folk have a much higher likelihood of being assaulted for using the correct restroom.

 

wow i guess im not gay enough to think of anything gay related when i hear the word "passing"..i thought u meant dying...:rolle:

 

Well, I don't if the term or concept will ever be 100% non-problematic. But, yes, I do strive to pass, or at least be perceived as a male by everyone I encounter. For me, it's a matter of comfort. And in a lot of cases, safety. Bathrooms, locker rooms- in order to go about my day with the least amount of trouble, I at least need to somewhat pass. But my primary reason for passing is, and let's face it, because being sir'd and he'd feels right and I want to be recognized as myself. Being she'd and ma'am'd is outright dysphoria inducing.

But I do agree that there's a problem with establishing a hierarchy of worth according to how a trans person passes. Your self-worth nor your perceived worth in society shouldn't solely rest on how you pass for a cisgendered person.

 

Even though I'm cis, I totally agree with you. The concept of passing IS kind of a double-edged sword.

Also, you've got my full love and support.
(*hug*)

 

But that has nothing to do with the term itself. Regardless of what term we use, that will happen. It's irrelevant to the question.