My girlfriend for a year & 2 months is trying to change me.I don't smoke cigarettes but i smoke pot occasionally.She smokes cigarettes & hates marijuana.In the beginning she was okay with it & tried it but after 6 months it became an issue & she demanded I stopped or she'd leave me.I shouldn't have to choose,as I do it on my own time & not in front of her.I want to stop when I'm ready,smoking enhances my creativity in my field as a creative director working on commercials and films. I smoke about once or twice a week and treat it as a glass of wine at the end of the night. I love her & want her to accept me as I am without having to change myself. She doesn't like my circle of friends and I feel if i give this up for her, she will continue asking me to give things up. I've been clean for her for 6 months and then she called her ex to complain about me for going camping with my friends, which led me back to smoking. I feel smoking is a subjective matter that has a negative connotation in which some people despise it due to being unable to understand its usage. I am responsible with it and don't do anything to harm her or myself. Even when I was clean for 6 months, when we went to Bermuda, she accused me of smoking on the trip when I was with her every second. what should i do?
Oh, one of those. An individual could date (such a quaint term) somebody who doesn't smoke and has a nice, compatible personality. On the other hand, that's not exciting. So, why not date one of those "bad girls/bad boys," and then set about re-engineering their personalities? The problem is, especially when you get married, once the "re-engineering" is done, the partner becomes newly boring, and a divorce is sure to ensue. May I politely suggest you dump her?
No offense to her but its weird that someone hates marijuana but smoke cigarettes. I get preferring one over the other but that's still smoking. It's like someone who likes beer hating that their spouse drinks wine and wants to change that. Smoking shouldn't be more important than the relationship and if there are no serious consequences of you smoking marijuana I don't see the problem. Talk it out and if it doesn't work make the best resolution sadly would be to break up if it's such a hassle. Might be a control issue but you have to let people be themselves as long as they aren't harming others. Hope she understands that but I wish you both find the best solution and are happy regardless.
Dude, she smokes cigarettes but hates pot? What the fuck? Cigarettes literally kill thousands a year, while pot kills nobody. Pot is even safer than alcohol. I would be more understanding if she was just against drugs in general, but this is hypocrisy that you shouldn't put up with.
ok i get the girlfriends point actually but i wont state my personal opinion of bud, just honestly if i could smoke i probly would but if i could smoke id honestly probly be doing other things as well..well my take on the girlfriend is that you smoking is an activity she cant partake in and so being on different levels (mentaly) perhaps it makes her feel left out, especially when you are hanging out with your friends and they are a crowd that is probly much different from the crowds shes used to or shes excluded complelty..id say if you cant seem to compromise (not u persay but both of you) then just end the relationship and find another girl who smokes if its really important to u...theres no point in sticking around if you dont want to give it up on your own terms as this will most likely always be an issue for her...
Thank you all for your advice, truly appreciate it and have made my decision to move forward. As much as I want to be with her, I can't keep having the same fight with no resolution, I feel restricted in being true to myself to please someone else.
