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How to get more comfortable at gay bars alone?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by 108, Jul 19, 2016.

  1. 108

    108
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    Okay, I've searched, and there are dozens of threads about going out to gay bars alone. It seems like the general consensus here, maybe because the internet naturally draws in introverted personalities, is that gay bars alone are uncomfortable and generally a bad experience.

    Well, I went out to one last weekend as a severely antisocial person, and I had a good time! I definitely blended into the background, perched against a spot on the wall and people watched. There was a drag show, my first, and that was hilarious and fun. I had some guys come up to me, no lengthy conversations. I had one guy I had a few dates and hooked up with randomly bump into me, bought me a beer and caught up a little, but he was there with someone else. I didn't feel at home but I felt proud of myself for forcing myself to go out, and while it was awkward, it felt great to be around others in the community and not feel alone.

    I didn't get drugged, innaproprisyelt groped, or any of the other nonsense I have read people on here worrying about. I wasn't pressured and there was nothing over the top sexual, typical busy bar atmosphere, but with people who are relatable and similar rather than being the only queer person in a straight crowd.

    I would suggest going to anybody who's curious, rather than talking them out of it like I've seen people in other threads doing. I plan to go back myself, maybe this weekend if I don't come up with other plans.

    NOW, my question is, how can a generally introverted person loosen up and have more fun at a gay bar? Other than a few drinks, what's the next step to 'put myself out there' and actually meet and engage people rather than lean back against a wall? I got a lot of guys very blatantly checking me out or saying things to me as they walked past, a few talked to me briefly, but I probably seemed inadvertently standoffish or something. I was nervous and it probably showed, but that will get better. But how do you guys that enjoy the bars initiate other guys and have fun in that environment?
     
  2. AKTodd

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    I think the biggest thing is just getting comfortable being there. Get to know the bartenders and the regulars. Be polite, be pleasant. Once you get more comfortable, you will probably find that you're less nervous and less standoffish and more ready to engage with other people there and have fun.

    Todd