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How was your first serious relationship and how did it end?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by logansarah, Jul 31, 2016.

  1. logansarah

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    My first serious (and only so far) relationship started when I was 15 with my best and only friend of two years. Toward the end of the relationship I remember thinking that he was perfect in every way (a gentlemen(pulling chairs out and opening doors), thoughtful (He wrote fanfiction with me and wrote it himself), nice and a lot of other things. The only downside was that I wasn't attracted to him. I figured this out and then soon learned that we were moving (the Military), so I struggled with myself for a few days and then when he came over my house one day I told him privately that I thought about him more as a (I wince now thinking about it and winced as I said it) friend, how he was such a great guy ,and how I wished we could stay friends. Yeah that didn't work. I moved soon after, then on Thanksgiving a month later in my new town he texted me a happy thanksgiving and I texted him back saying happy thanks giving. I than at Christmas wished him a Marry Christmas, he didn't reply. And than a year after we moved we moved again and along the way to our new place we stopped in our previous town so that my mom could greet her friends. On the way there I debated back and forth about texting him, but in the end I decided not to on the excuse of not wanting to mess up his life or something. I'm not sure whether I regret not telling him or not.

    All my friends say I'm such a great friend and person, but here is one example of why I don't understand why they say that.
     
  2. AmyBee

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    It was great at first. We got together over Christmas break and started dating twice a day for two weeks then she went back to her hometown and we started this long distance thing which involved writing each other letters every day and long distance phone calls every night when the rates were low. During my spring break I went and spent the week with her and it was so much fun. Then the next May she came and spent a few days at my place and we drove cross-country back to her place and I spent another week with her.

    Then I took a bus home and at that point things got sad. I was supposed to move in with her when my lease was up but she got kind of vague on that and she stopped calling me as often and when I called her she was more distracted. She admitted her friends were trying to get her to break up with me. Then we had this one conversation where we kind of ended it and at some point in there she mentioned having met some guy who seemed cool. I had to move back into my parents' house at that point and being jobless and partnerless things got really bad.

    I made this one last ditch effort to get back with her but she didn't respond for over a month and when she did it was just this blah kind of short letter telling me she thought I was a good person but she was in a relationship with that very guy she'd told me about the previous summer.

    Of course I couldn't understand how someone could bare their soul to you and say I love you and all that and then just a few months later be like, "Bye, I'm with someone else now." You know, telling that person the same things. It hurt deeply. But eventually I started feeling better and she and I became friends. We had a couple of little episodes later and now she's married with kids and I'm with someone and we never talk anymore, but occasionally we do hit like on each other's FB posts.

    She is one of the people I'm out to in "real life" and she was super supportive of me when we were talking more. So even though it sounds kind of like a bad ending, I think if we never talk again we've left off with both of us in positive places so everything is okay!
     
    #2 AmyBee, Jul 31, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2016
  3. Ruby Dragon

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    I've given this a lot of thought, and cannot pinpoint even one relationship that I deemed serious. None of it lacked in love and butterflies in the stomach, but I wouldn't call any of my past relationships serious. Most of my relationships only last about 7 months. Then I either get bored, or something else happens, and we break up. Sad, huh?
     
  4. BelieveinLove94

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    My first serious relationship was with my best guy friend. We had known each other since kindergarten and he was a great friend. When we were thirteen he admitted that he had a crush on me, I liked him back so we became a couple. We were on and off throughout middle school and high school. We broke up for the final time senior year.

    He was nice and I thought I was in love. I found it weird that I never wanted to do anything sexual with him, even kissing him was not fun. That's how I realized I was a lesbian, I always dreamt about kissing girls, never him.
     
  5. White Knight

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    We were co-workers who became friends than more than that.

    Things were like a dream until he slept with my best friend. Begged for forgiveness. We continued like nothing happened.

    Something did happened tho'. His perverted requests, sick fantasies and weird obsession with my best friend... he was insisting we should include her to a threesome or how I should be with him while she watching us...

    Anyway along the way he met that old girlfriend of hers whom he insist felt nothing for her. Several months later he confessed he has feeling for her as well. I told him to made up his mind and pick either her or me.

    Then he "picked" me... at least that was what I thought. One day after sex he dropped the bomb... he was also seeing her. That made me feel shamed, naked and lonely like I've never been before. We dragged relationship few more months till one day it completely finished.

    Worst days of my life.
     
  6. JonSomebody

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    My first relationship was a saving grace at that time because my mom had revealed to my family that I was gay after promising me that it would stay between the two of us. Therefore, I was abandoned by them and my first boyfriend who was much older than myself had become my everything. At that time, we found a house and began to live together. The relationship ended because he became very possessive and wanted to control every facet of my life. Things got really bad when I decided that I was ready to go back to work after leaving my career behind for a couple of years at his request. Once I started working again, the relationship became really bad to the degree where he became a stalker as well.
     
  7. Flowey

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    My first relationship just ended. We couldn't handle the long distance.
    I'm still reeling from the heartbreak. Gosh. I was ok with no relationship before my 1st relationship. Now I just yearn for more. Love is a drug.
     
  8. Randy

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    When it happens, I'll let you know!
     
  9. guitar

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    I don't know about "serious," but my first girlfriend and I lasted about 9 months or so. I don't exactly remember how it ended. I think we just fizzled out, there wasn't a fight or anything. "We're done right?" "Yeah, we're done." sort of thing.
     
  10. CJliving

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    Horrible and wrong, right from before it even began. He was dating my best friend, that's how we met, he had a LOT of issues (cutting, eating disorders, etc.); but he was also the first person that (acted) like he understood where I was coming from with losing my mom and my gender 'thing' (at this point I had nooooo idea, I was still running the 'I'm-not-a-girl-but-no-surgery-and-you-like-men-so-you're-obviously-a-straight-girl' circle). I lost my friend when they broke up, but I got my first kiss/date/boyfriend/literally anything and everything. :/

    Stayed with him for three and a half years. Through emotional and physical abuse, an awful emotional roller-coaster, fighting with my family, horrible money problems (he made me pay for everything since he didn't have a job), eventual transphobia and misogyny, losing almost all my friends, the worst Artist's Block ever, nearly dropping out of university, and losing my job!

    The breaking point came when he told me casually over lunch one day that "If you go to Japan, I'll ditch you". 1) if? LOL 2) "ditch"? This is a 3+ year relationship where you bring up marriage like once a week, not the second grade. My response was an equally casual "okay" that I think he misinterpreted (he'd given us a deadline, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, no more break up pressure! :grin:). Then less than 2 weeks later, while celebrating my cousins' firstborn and my Nana's birthday, he told me over the phone that I should prioritize spending my time with him, not my family (I spent every weekend with him). I broke up with him that night.

    Honestly, despite the awful, horrible, very bad thing, it changed me for the better. Right after breaking up with him I reconnected with friends, maintained awesome grades at uni, started drawing again, got good with my family again, started saving money, got a better job, and made decisions for my life without "how angry will Matt be?" hanging over my head. I'm so much more confident and brave coming out of that shitshow than I ever was before it. (Not that I recommend awful, horrible, very bad things to improve your social skills or self-confidence. :/)
     
  11. panzy99

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    I was in denial and I had known him since kindergarten, not the best choice of my life.

    He ended being emotionally manipulative to the point I had given him more firsts in my life than I was comfortable with. This was at a time I was trying to be more 'girly' because that's what I thought he wanted. Turns out he was sexting other girls while we were dating and then finally I moved to Texas and he had told me that he didn't want to do long distance. I was like, "Perfect opportunity to break up" because I didn't want to tell him outright I no longer had feelings for him.

    So thus it ended after nine months, I still cringe when I think about how low my self esteem was during that time and how I was really only using him as an anchor for my situation.