Right, this will take a while... - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Jeimuzu · 14th Mar 2009, 05:13 PM

Okay, life's a bit weird right now.

Last week, I met up with my first year crush and we went on a date together. We'll call him A. Previous to this, I'd met up with someone, made friends, and such, he's B. And then there's a friend I met through B who is called C. All three are really cute. Simple enough? It gets interesting.

Right, so basically a while back I met B, went for a date, we liked each other but he's not really in the right position, I'm not a guy he wants to date. I think I want things he doesn't. So this is okay, we're still friends. We go to a local gay youth group together. At this, I met a lot of cool people, and it's all good fun.

Right, I then got added on facebook by a guy who I'd not talked to in ages. I didn't recognise him for a while until I realised he was my - previously taken - first year crush. We went on a date, and I thought it went okay. I enjoyed myself, we went back to my house for a bit, played megadrive, had fun, and then he went home.

Since then, he's barely said a word to me. We were meant to be meeting up again tomorrow, and it's just not happening. I've not heard from him in days, he's not come onto msn, he's not answering texts, it's just all gone down the pan.

And now I'm getting asked out by one ofthe people at the gay youth group, who we'll call C. The reason why this is complicated is that I've heard bad things about C from C's ex-boyfriend. However, C's ex boyfriend is A. So it's their word against each other, and I'm not sure A's really worth trusting if he's really ditched me so bluntly. On the other hand, he might've just been busy and ran out of phone credit. I just don't know!

ARGH!

14th Mar 2009, 06:18 PM

ABC, Easy as 123, Simple as Do Re Mi...
Or apparently not.

First off, we can essentially disregard B as neither of you are interested in pursuing the relationship farther. We can just whittle it down to A and C. You liked A, but he hasn't replied to any of your messages. You have a preconceived notion of what C is like, but you haven't verified it by going out with him.

My advice is as follows: If A isn't there tomorrow and he continues to show no interest, I would forget about him. He might just not be interested. I also think you should go out with C on a date. While you may have heard bad things about him, people change. I know during my first relationship, I was needy and clingy and just generally lame. I wouldn't describe myself as any of these things now (I keep a close watch on it). So go out with C, have a good time and try to ignore what was potentially "bad" about him. It's just a date afterall; if things don't work out, you have no obligation to ever go out again.

And damn, can I just say how jealous I am? Everyone wants a piece of you! I kinda wish I had these problems.

Kryz · 14th Mar 2009, 10:58 PM

Oh god...

I also advice to go out with C... and think it's someone new, not the bad C that A pictured in your mind.
And about A... well, just try YOUR best, if he doesn't responses, well it's his lost, and if things don't come out as great as they could have, it's HIS fault. IMO

14th Mar 2009, 05:13 PM	#1
Jeimuzu Wreck Cognition Full Member Gender: Heterogametic Orientation: Rawr. Out Status: 99% out. Location: Middlesbrough Age: 23 Posts: 1,744 Join Date: Aug 2007	Right, this will take a while... Okay, life's a bit weird right now. Last week, I met up with my first year crush and we went on a date together. We'll call him A. Previous to this, I'd met up with someone, made friends, and such, he's B. And then there's a friend I met through B who is called C. All three are really cute. Simple enough? It gets interesting. Right, so basically a while back I met B, went for a date, we liked each other but he's not really in the right position, I'm not a guy he wants to date. I think I want things he doesn't. So this is okay, we're still friends. We go to a local gay youth group together. At this, I met a lot of cool people, and it's all good fun. Right, I then got added on facebook by a guy who I'd not talked to in ages. I didn't recognise him for a while until I realised he was my - previously taken - first year crush. We went on a date, and I thought it went okay. I enjoyed myself, we went back to my house for a bit, played megadrive, had fun, and then he went home. Since then, he's barely said a word to me. We were meant to be meeting up again tomorrow, and it's just not happening. I've not heard from him in days, he's not come onto msn, he's not answering texts, it's just all gone down the pan. And now I'm getting asked out by one ofthe people at the gay youth group, who we'll call C. The reason why this is complicated is that I've heard bad things about C from C's ex-boyfriend. However, C's ex boyfriend is A. So it's their word against each other, and I'm not sure A's really worth trusting if he's really ditched me so bluntly. On the other hand, he might've just been busy and ran out of phone credit. I just don't know! ARGH! __________________

14th Mar 2009, 06:18 PM	#2
Numfarh Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Right, this will take a while... ABC, Easy as 123, Simple as Do Re Mi... Or apparently not. First off, we can essentially disregard B as neither of you are interested in pursuing the relationship farther. We can just whittle it down to A and C. You liked A, but he hasn't replied to any of your messages. You have a preconceived notion of what C is like, but you haven't verified it by going out with him. My advice is as follows: If A isn't there tomorrow and he continues to show no interest, I would forget about him. He might just not be interested. I also think you should go out with C on a date. While you may have heard bad things about him, people change. I know during my first relationship, I was needy and clingy and just generally lame. I wouldn't describe myself as any of these things now (I keep a close watch on it). So go out with C, have a good time and try to ignore what was potentially "bad" about him. It's just a date afterall; if things don't work out, you have no obligation to ever go out again. And damn, can I just say how jealous I am? Everyone wants a piece of you! I kinda wish I had these problems.

14th Mar 2009, 10:58 PM	#3
Kryz EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: 95% gay 4% lesbian 1% polyester. Out Status: 7 friends and my mum. Location: Mexico City Age: 23 Posts: 659 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Right, this will take a while... Oh god... I also advice to go out with C... and think it's someone new, not the bad C that A pictured in your mind. And about A... well, just try YOUR best, if he doesn't responses, well it's his lost, and if things don't come out as great as they could have, it's HIS fault. IMO __________________ Nobody wants to be alone, everybody wants to love someone... ♪ Glitter and be gay... That's the part I play... ♫ It's SO not a choice. But if it were, I would choose to be gay.