My female friend from high school messaged me and asked me if I'm going to the reunion. I said I wasn't invited - which is true. NOBODY (but her) made contact with me in this regard. I'm not interested in going anyway because I was bullied, called names and just made to feel really worthless, so why would I go and sit there all prissy pretending to have a good time? No thanks. Besides, most of them are already married and have 2-3 kids. Me? I'd again be the joke (Single, no kids). I have NO good memories from high school, so I have NO desire to see ANY of those fucktards again!!! They made my life miserable, I have zero self confidence and zero self esteem because of them, even now 10 years later. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Their comments really cut deep, even though I never let it show. I hid it so well that my own mother didn't even know about it until I told her a few months ago, when my friend first told me about the reunion. So yeah, deep emotional scars, that will probably never heal, bitterness and just general DGAF feelings - I'll give this one a skip. ---------- Post added 15th Aug 2016 at 12:35 AM ---------- To give you a better idea of what I had to endure: Someone started a rumour that I fingered myself IN THE CLASSROOM :rolle: and this led to me being called fishfinger for most of my high school career. Then I started questioning my sexuality and guess what my new nickname was? RUG MUNCHER And on another occasion, one of these bullies told me in front of all her friends that I'm a beast of a woman, referring to my size (Tall and overweight). I played field hockey and whenever I was dressed in my hockey uniform, I'd get teased for my super pale legs (which are fat to boot) and again get called names. I'd get told that if I were to run and fall, there'd be an earthquake. So if YOU had to endure all of this, would YOU want to go? :tantrum: :tears:
I definitely wouldn't want to go either, if I were you. I'm really sorry that this happened to you (*hug*) Kids and Teenagers can be so horrible when they think it makes them "cool". Putting others down makes them feel like they're better. But they aren't. And I can assure you, just because their lives seem perfect, they all have problems too and some of them are deeply unhappy for sure. I think people at reunions either lie about how great their life is or talk about how miserable they are. Maybe a few people are honestly interested in catching up, but most people just want to prove they're better than the others. But I've never been to a reunion, so that's just what I believe. I do believe that at least some of your bullies are sorry for what they did to you and would feel bad themselves if they saw you, but seeing them all again, talking about their "perfect" lives, would probably only bring the bad memories back. I mean, already thinking about going brought them back for you. So it's healthier to stay away and there's nothing wrong with that Try to stop focusing on them and how "great" their lives are and start focusing on yourself and what you want. I know that's not easy, I'm still emotionally scarred because of what my former best friend did to me years ago. But I came to the conclusion that deleting her from my life (online and irl) and therefore not knowing what goes on in her life, makes it easier for me to move on. Because if I think about how happy she is, it doesn't help me at all. It's important that you find your happiness for yourself and not to prove others that you're happy. Do what you like and work hard for what you want and then you'll get better for sure
I was bullied like you, a lot of similar stuff too. I was overweight and I am also really pale, I got so stressed I started losing hair all over my head and got made fun of for that and called cancer kid and gross and contaminated and whatnot. Typical high school stuff really, it felt like I was in prison every day in school and I tried to skip it as often as I could, but I would actually really want to go to a reunion. I have since forgiven them and I know they were just doing what many teenagers do without realizing how it affects people. A lot of bullies grow up and never forgive themselves for what they have done when they realize how messed up they were. Also most of the girls came from troubled homes and ended up hooked on drugs and/or alcohol themselves and several of them are in horrible relationships they can't get out of because they have kids and whatnot. The vicious cycle will continue with their kids for sure. :icon_sad: In the end it seems like I managed to turn my life around despite what I went through while they are still stuck dealing with the inner demons which lead them to attack me in the first place. If they tried to bully me now it would look something like the final battle in 8 Mile, there is nothing they can say to embarrass me because I own who I am, rug munching and all, but I know a lot about them that they are embarrassed about. I am not vindictive though, I would really want to go to a reunion to chat with the people who were not bullies. Also the ones who were who have since come up to me and asked for forgiveness, and to give the others a chance to do the same so they could forgive themselves and feel better about it too. High school leaves everybody who gets involved in that drama scarred one way or another. Your emotional scars can heal, but it takes a lot of work. Can you see a therapist about it? That might really help speed up the process. It could also be that the girls (well, women now) who bullied you back then turned out to be alright people and talking to them and seeing that could help you deal with things.
Thank you (*hug*) And thanks for sharing your experience Thanks for sharing your experience too (*hug*) I am actually seeing a psychiatrist for other reasons (I'm bipolar) but haven't discussed this with her for the simple reason I'm not ready to talk about it. Thinking about it makes me want to hide from the world, curl up into a ball, and cry. And I'm much too embarrassed to talk to her about this. I've told my mom about everything, but that's different. She was shocked to hear what hell I've been through because I didn't complain during high school, not once. Well, I guess the only thing I can do, is wait...
Yes, you talk about it when you are ready, there is no forcing it. You should definitely skip the reunion if thinking about it makes you that upset. My mom knew about some of it because they pushed me into a lake once and I had to explain to the teachers why I had to go home and change my clothes and they told her about it. I tried to keep it quiet too though and she still has no idea about most of it. Is there anyone else you would feel comfortable talking to about it? I know it helped me a lot to talk to my best friend who really understood because she also went through the same. You will find a way to heal in time, I promise! (*hug*)
I'm not interested in going, either. It's just a way for me to hold onto the past, and while it taught me much, I feel like I'm a completely different place in life now. I'd much rather meet strangers who have the chance to be a part of my future.
How horrible! :eek: Yeah, I've talked about it to friends, and briefly with my mom, but there's lots of water that needs to travel under the bridge before I can really process it and be done with it. But I don't think one really ever gets over it, we just learn to live with it and not allow it to bother us anymore. But getting to that point, takes time. Lots of it. Exactly!
I wasn't bullied, more just ignored, but no in hell am I go to my highschool reunion. If I want to talk to the three people I was kinda friends with, I'll get fb message then and save myself the trouble of the reunion.
Didn't go to my 10 year and won't go to any of the others either. The only people I like, I talk to on Facebook or text. If I didn't talk to you in high school why would I be your friend now? Its an old tradition that needs to just be done away with.
I think the word "re-union" implies that there was once a "union." Except for one or two people, I had no real union, no real connection with anyone in HS. I don't hold any malice against anyone, but no deep affection either. OK. Maybe some affection for a few. Whatever their reason for organizing these events, I think people want to "Photoshop" the past and present it as something it really was not. So, when people who ignored you or worse, now want to socialize with you, I understand the hesitancy. The one thing to think about is how these things bring up bad memories that still might affect you today. They might have made you feel like shit back then, but they don't control you now. Instead of going to some bullshit event, why not try to get in touch with someone you DID like in school? Chances are, there are more of "us" than them.
