Misgendered Presents?

Special little girl is definitely annoying, but that's the unfortunate implications of not being out.

Pink isn't really a gendered thing though IMO, considering I'm cis but I don't like pink or super girly stuff. I actually had to ask my grandparents and aunts/uncles to stop sending me pink/super girly cards and gifts since I despise them. So you're definitely not alone there.

 

It is though, especially these days. It shouldn't be. I mean, it's literally just a color, but there's no denying that time and time again, pink's often associated as a "girly" color.

Honestly, "girl toys" and gifts are often so generic and boring. At least stereotypical boys toys have more than one color.

But used to get this all the time as a kid cause, of course, I wasn't out, I was femme-presenting and very self-conscious about being open and acknowledging I wanted to be a boy, etc.

So...childhood full of Barbies, Polly pockets, etc. Luckily when I came out (I was 18), things got a little more gender neutral, even with people who had trouble accepting me (thankfully few).

And thankfully when I was a teenager, the people who knew me the best usually stuck to things like books and nice notebooks, which are gender neutral for the most part. Except for when I'd get teen YA romance.

 

All I'm saying is it shouldn't be. Cis women can hate pink. Cis men can like pink. Trans men can like pink. Trans women can hate pink. Non-binary people can do whatever. And I know people in all four categories.

I understand what you're saying in that society genders it to an extent that "You're a girl, you like pink" and so they may gift it because of sexist stereotypes, but I feel when society progresses, this will change. I'm uncomfortable using stuff like this to portray gender though as it invalidates the gender of not only many cis people, but also trans people who don't follow gender stereotypes, but feel "forced" to for validation.

 

Yeah, I've gotten presents "clearly intended for the wrong gender".

But I was a gendery-bendery kid and surprised my parents didn't seem to care.

 

I've never gotten a misgendered present.
I pick out all my gifts personally (i tend to get anime figures or gaming merch or YAY NERDY DRAGON ORNAMENTS for the collection anyway).
Even the ones from my grandparents and other relatives are picked out by me, purchased by my relatives, and handed to me by my parents when the day comes.
And when my parents do buy me surprise gifts, they know my general tastes anyway (unless of course it's one of those rare and kind of strange moments where they decide to buy me and my sister some kind of 'bathing kit' thingy with, like, flowers and sh*t printed on the box that they know neither of us have any use for anyway, but that's kind of just them being random and not knowing what the heck to buy us when the merch is too expensive but they have left over money).

But, to be a lil' more relevant to the thread finally, birthday cards are a nightmare, even from my parents.
They buy my brother cards with like cars and comedy and sh*t on them but i'm stuck with bloody 'Me-To-You Bears' doing cute things and high heels and cupcakes on my cards with some kind of 'To our beautiful, cute, adorable, f*cking fabulous, totally toootaally feminine af, like, for suuure, a FEMALE, [grand]daughter/niece who, just to clarify, is most certainly FEMALE' printed all over them...
Then the cards sit all over the house, bein all pink and sh*t, just... mocking meee...
...
I mean, like... i also don't particularly want cars and sh*t either... i like snazzy-lookin' vehicles as much as the next whoever but...
Nyuueehhhhhhhhhhhhh just no more of this boring gendered crap pleeeaze??...
It can have some pink on it, pink isn't a gender or a sex nor is blue, but just don't geeennderrr me that wayy with the words and such uuuurrrfff....
...
It's... not enjoyable... nah.
...
And, DAMN, this was loooong.

 

Not really. I usually got "boy" toys, or educational kinds of toys. I never really got anything girly. I did get Beanie Babies when I went through a phase (more as a collector that person that played with them).

 

I got a hair straightener once.
Not exactly a misgendered one but...one that was clearly implying that my grandma wanted me to grow my hair out as my hair is very short.

I also once asked for a Zelda game from my dad and got Just Dance instead. Which is more of a...misinterpretation of interest? Similar thing happened when I asked for a pokemon game except I just...didn't...get it.

And I'm not really out to my extended family, so I always get cards and stuff that are like "my sweet little granddaughter" y'know. I don't really expect that to change despite my dislike for it.

 

I once got a pink barbie house as a kid, and I hated it. I actually started crying when I got it. I remember when my mom bought it and I asked her who it was for, but she didn't tell me. It was for me apparently..? I don't know what the story was behind the pink barbie house. I didn't wish for it so why did she buy it? I'll have to ask her what was up with that, if she remembers it.

 

Seems like she was hoping to introduce you to the 'correct' type of toys.

My parents took my doll away from me as I was "getting too old for it". I was 3 years old or something.

 

My dad's parents barely know me, so I always seem to get "girly" things from them, like bright pink secret diaries and plastic jewellery. They also buy me hoodies; I've no idea why because I never wear hoodies. My relatives who know me better used to get me toy cars, pens and notepads, books, etc. Nowadays they know I like maths so I have millions of calculators :/

 

I received a barbie doll and cooked it

Ever since then, I give away unwanted presents (usually things such as 'bath gift sets'), so they don't gather dust

 

:eek: Send me some of those bath gift sets! I love them :lol: Especially bath bombs!!

 

I'd give some bath gift sets to you if you were one of the first people I saw after receiving them lol

As a side note, I collect some plush animals. They're amazingly soft, so I don't care if people think that is 'girly' or 'childish'!

 

Oh man, the amount I've god damn had is unbelievable. It really pissed me off because I was always been a tomboy and people couldn't think for 2 seconds about something I might actually like. They'd just get some shitty body lotion or nail polish and I'd have to sit there and pretend to be grateful. I'm glad that now I'm out I'm not going to have to deal with that anymore.

 

I don't know if this counts but I've been given makeup countless times, which I don't use and never have. Also my aunts insist on giving me these really "girly" shirts, the kind with strap necks and sparkly things on, which I have never been comfortable in.

I've only recently started identifying as slightly gender nonconforming but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have liked these kind of things even so.

 

So is there a particular present that would be appropriate for all gender-fluid people?

Perhaps, next time you should tell people what kind of things you like, so they could get you an appropriate present.

 

Well technically nothing that doesn't specifically state it's intention toward a gender is associated wit that gender. On a social level yes, but anyone can have an affinity or attraction to toys/presents of all kind.

 

Bath and grooming sets that say on them "for men" and try to shriek masculinity and it's just no.