"Lose weight and you will find love"

I'm glad it went for the better. Weight, diet, and exercise are very personal issues that I tend not to discuss with strangers unless asked first.

 

I used to believe I needed to be skinny to find love, but I found it with my partner when Iweighed more than I had ever weighed before.
Though now we are both trying to lose weight just for health reasons.
Trust me, there are men and women out there that will find you beautiful regardless what you weigh, but its probably a good idea for health reasons to lose weight. I say that as someone who is massively in excess of 300lbs, so take that advice with a pinch of cake (because salt on its own is yucky).

 

I've always been skinny and I've never found love. I've been on dates and had casual hookups, but never been in a relationship. I am going to the gym and trying to put on muscle, and I do enjoy the exercise.

I think looking after your body is important for health reasons, and it does give you more confidence, which may make it easier to attract people, because confidence in itself is attractive. But it's not necessarily all about being the right weight or shape. There are other things that can hold you back in love. And I'm still trying to figure out what those things are. I've been attracted to plenty of men who are a bit overweight, but most of them were straight.

 

Well, it's somewhat true. Skinniness is generally more desirable to more people, so it opens more doors. There has to be some sexual attraction in most romantic relationships. That said, I think the motivation to lose weight should come from inside yourself in order to be effective. You shouldn't live a certain way because that's how society dictates, but you should certainly strive to lose weight so you can be healthy and live a longer, more vibrant life.

 

So long as you lose weight for yourself, and not for other people, that's the thing that matters.

Weight loss is not something you must do to find love, at all. If someone truly loves you, they won't give a damn how much you weigh. Wishing you good luck

 

Yeah, I do agree, but love is something that happens after things like physical attraction. I stìll stand by the idea that everyone is attractive to someone, but it is fair to say, the majority of people tend to be attracted to conventional beauty, and that also includes certain limits to weight.

Now, I firmly believe that you should only ever modify your body for yourself, but finding someone to love you is easier if your body conforms to a generic standard. Its generally once you've passed the phyisical attraction when love becomes a factor.

What we should never do, though, is mix that up and do something to find love, because that will beget failure.

 

this is slightly related but in my own context
I used to be v. unhappy with my body for various reasons, i thought "how could anyone love me when i looked like this", but after a while i thought, well actually, what a great time to find love, if someone can look past or even admire my body, when it is what society conditions as unattractive, and see me instead for my my strengths in character/heart, then what a great relationship foundation. I also found self love with those kind of thoughts, and with that came healthier lifestyle and a fitter/stronger body.

i would say, i don't think weight is a big factor, but it may exclude shallow initial attraction for someone who prefers small women, but hey some people equally prefer fuller women too. many women know the weight struggle, i know i do, and it has made me a more empathetic person. also in my partner search weight is at the bottom of the list - more i look for the spark in her eyes, her presence, her personality. i mean i just have to see a girl laughing uncontrollably and i think...hi can i sit with you haha. so in summary, personally, i don't believe weight a barrier to authentic relationships, but for some people it could be, not that it is bad to have a type...but would you want to be in a relationship with that type of person?

if you feel motivated by the words of that man then that is great, do whatever makes you happy. (&&&)

 

See, this is what worries me, considering my overweight issues are ONLY due to medical issues and medication. I exercise really well and eat better than when I was thin before the medication (When I was thin I didn't exercise at all and only ate potato chips + hot dogs).

I feel like the only way to lose weight is to get off my medication, but the only problem is that my medication exists to soothe my violent thoughts and tendencies. So It's almost like asking "Would you rather date a happy overweight person or a thin person who puts you in an abusive relationship?" I personally would rather not deal with the latter at all though, and it always seems to come back if I forget my meds.

Luckily, there are such things as chubby chasers. I understand some overweight people find fetishizers degrading, but It's my last chance at finding love in case my workout/diet program doesn't work. Of course, I am also open to dating overweight people too so hopefully this won't limit my options.

 

I think saying just losing weight and you will find love is ridiculous. You could be fit and considered very attractive and still be lonely. What matters is how you feel about yourself. Happy, self confident people are attractive.

The guy does sound like he meant well though, I'd still say it was a little uncalled for. But if it's positive motivation for you that's great! Best luck in your weight loss.

You don't have to limit yourself to being only attractive to chubby chasers or other overweight people. If you find someone who falls into one of the categories and you like them, that's wonderful. That doesn't mean you can't be with someone who doesn't belong in those categories either. If the medication is essential to your well-being you can't help if it makes you put on weight. A person who truly cares for you will understand that.

I don't know what meds you're taking but I know some people can balance the weight gain side effect with diet an exercise. So don't give up!

 

Thank you for the reassurance. I am secretly hoping my diet and work out plans are going to help, but so far it has been a low process with little change.

 

I see overweight people on a daily basis with partners, you don't need to lose weight to find love. However unfortunately, a lot of people put a lot of emphasis on the size of a person (looks in general). So, while being smaller does make it generally easier, being overweight does not make it impossible. ^^

 

well to be honest its like better to look healthier and in shape,it's true that most people desire the healthy body and or the skinny one.
and trust me that also looking fashionable and fancy needs that healthy body too
i hope this didnt offend you ^_^

 

That's compete bull! I know many people who are fun sized and they a bunch have partners. Me personally if I lost any more weight I would probably be in an anorexic hospital.

 

I don't agree with the way he said it, but his intentions behind the statement is what I analyze and see. While it is true in some cases, it is also true some people have fallen in love with overweight people. That said, when I hear these statements, I take them with grains of salt.

On another note, I'm happy it provided positive motivation for you to lose weight for yourself!

 

Which statement do you take with a pinch of salt?

 

"Lose weight and you will find love"

 

If you want to lose weight, you're probably going to have to come up with better incentives than others being attracted to you. That's always fickle and liable to be crushing and demotivating.

The pleasurable sensation of being fit and the feeling of cleanliness that comes with a good diet should be what motivate you. Attractiveness is more like a fortunate extra, rather than the goal in itself. Living a longer, more vigorous life is ultimately the goal - your love life is only part of that.

 

I think you should do it but not to find love but for yourself and to feel good about yourself and to take care of your beautiful body which is beautiful in every shape
Im sure he meant well but its for the wrong goal, its not for others but YOU
What happens is that when we take care of ourselves we relate better to ourselves and become more confident and have a healthy dose of self worth and THAT is what's attractive