College Roomie?? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Bryan · 19th Mar 2009, 01:24 PM

Hi-

Ok, So I am a bit of a predicament. I am going to be a freshmen at a fairly gay friendly college next year... and I was doing my housing application today.

I cant decide whether I should room blind or attempt to find a gay/gay friendly roommate.

What do you guys think?? And what experiences have you had with this?

Thanks.

bryan

**Gerry** · 19th Mar 2009, 01:29 PM

I would probably say go for a gay/gay room mate situation. It might be easier on everyone and you guys would have more in common. Straight guys can be jerky sometimes. But as you said, it's a gay friendly college. That's my opinion. Do what you think will work out best. Good luck.

19th Mar 2009, 01:39 PM

It can depend on your tolerance of what people say to you.
My roommate was kinda ignorant and an asshole. But a nice asshole! (that sounds really gay....

) he made comments, but he asked every now and then if they bothered me. i told him they really didnt and if he knew it was a bad day, he usually kept it down.
Just remember that no matter who you get, be as considerate of them as you want them to be to you and even more so. (IE: dont bring boys home if you arent sure if hes ok with it....especially if hes gone on vacation)

Good luck in college!

s5m1 · 19th Mar 2009, 01:42 PM

Do they actually give you the option of asking for a gay roommate?

pokeypanda · 19th Mar 2009, 01:58 PM

Do you have some people in mind that you wouldn't mind rooming with?

Cheria · 19th Mar 2009, 02:13 PM

Gay guys can be assholes too, you know.

Wired106 · 19th Mar 2009, 03:50 PM

I would definately choose to be roomed with someone that is gay or is okay with you being gay, because going all the way to college is going to be hard as is, and if you room with a straight guy who doesn't accept you then, it will make even living there harder. So you pretty much won't have a place to turn, which is why you should definately consider rooming with someone that is gay.

jangel · 19th Mar 2009, 03:54 PM

I mean if you can find a friend great but if not who cares....they can move out if they want...then you are usually left with a single double for free until you or the college can find you one. Just be honest and like anything else set ROOMATE RULES it is really important I have had some really crummy roomates LOL in my experience the geekyier the better !!!! They are quiet, clean, and study LOL Best of luck I'm sure it will work out everyone is nervous about the roomate situation.

sdc91 · 19th Mar 2009, 04:06 PM

Do whatever you want. I have a straight roommate, and he's completely fine with it. You'll discover that at first guys will be homophobic to assert their masculinity, then they'll drop it and no one will care. At my school there are two guys rooming together who are obviously gay, and no one really cares.

If you're more comfortable with a gay roommate, go for it. But, the matching process can work wonders, too. I'd rather get matched with a straight guy with the same interests than a gay guy who isn't into anything I'm into.

Derek the Wolf · 19th Mar 2009, 05:32 PM

I'd go into it blind personally. If you get a gay roomie then it's no big deal. If you get a straight roomie who's open-minded then it's no big deal. If you get a bigot for a roommate then you'll have a chance to change someone's way of looking at gay people. I'd just leave it up to chance and see what happens. If you really think you'd be more compatible/comfortable with a gay roommate then go ahead and request one. ^.^

Hoppip · 19th Mar 2009, 11:03 PM

I'd make an effort to get a gay-friendly roommate, but not a gay roommate. It could be really weird having a gay roommate, because there could be a sense of competition or uneasy/unrequited attraction.

However, if I were you, I'd make an effort to find a gay-friendly roommate for sure. Why? Because then you could be sure that they were okay with you. You'd have the best college experience not being afraid or hating going to your dorm--your whole college experience will be ruined if you're hating going to bed every night. It'll make life hell, and that's one thing you don't need added onto your itinerary when dealing with the normal stresses of college life.

The effort you put in now will pay off when you don't have to deal with some closed-minded kid who's gonna be awkward about everything. It'll be a great weight off of yours AND his shoulders. I wouldn't recommend blind rooming because it's very unexpected the type of personality you'll get. The chances of you getting someone your type will be completely ramped up if you at least make an effort to filter out the ones you don't want. :')

Anyway, I wish you good luck and I hope you get an awesome roommate! :')

Greggers · 19th Mar 2009, 11:21 PM

Id rather have a gay-friendly asshole than a non gay-friendly asshole

got for it!

Bryan · 21st Mar 2009, 03:11 PM

Thanks for the advice guys!

I am probably going to end up rooming blind, so we'll see.

littledinosaurs · 21st Mar 2009, 03:40 PM

i would see if you could ask for someone who is open minded, but not gay.
i would hate to have a gay roommate...which sounds odd but w.e.

**Lexington** · 21st Mar 2009, 05:42 PM

I went blind. And I got a rich, stuck-up guy from a privledged home with whom I had nothing in common.

...we're still friends.

Lex

19th Mar 2009, 01:24 PM	#1
Bryan EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: bestfriend & parents Location: South Florida Age: 21 Posts: 530 Join Date: Aug 2007	College Roomie?? Hi- Ok, So I am a bit of a predicament. I am going to be a freshmen at a fairly gay friendly college next year... and I was doing my housing application today. I cant decide whether I should room blind or attempt to find a gay/gay friendly roommate. What do you guys think?? And what experiences have you had with this? Thanks. bryan

19th Mar 2009, 01:29 PM	#2
Gerry We're all a little mad! EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Las Vegas Age: 24 Posts: 5,542 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: College Roomie?? I would probably say go for a gay/gay room mate situation. It might be easier on everyone and you guys would have more in common. Straight guys can be jerky sometimes. But as you said, it's a gay friendly college. That's my opinion. Do what you think will work out best. Good luck. __________________ "Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality".-James Baldwin

19th Mar 2009, 01:39 PM	#3
greyundrstndng Guest Posts: n/a	Re: College Roomie?? It can depend on your tolerance of what people say to you. My roommate was kinda ignorant and an asshole. But a nice asshole! (that sounds really gay....) he made comments, but he asked every now and then if they bothered me. i told him they really didnt and if he knew it was a bad day, he usually kept it down. Just remember that no matter who you get, be as considerate of them as you want them to be to you and even more so. (IE: dont bring boys home if you arent sure if hes ok with it....especially if hes gone on vacation) Good luck in college!

19th Mar 2009, 01:42 PM	#4
s5m1 Gay and Couldn't be Happier! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Maryland Age: 46 Posts: 861 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: College Roomie?? Do they actually give you the option of asking for a gay roommate?

19th Mar 2009, 01:58 PM	#5
pokeypanda EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Northern Ohio Posts: 273 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: College Roomie?? Do you have some people in mind that you wouldn't mind rooming with? __________________ Do not follow where the path may lead. Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail! Ralph W. Emerson

19th Mar 2009, 02:13 PM	#6
Cheria にひひっ♪ Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Almost everyone Location: Illinois Age: 20 Posts: 636 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: College Roomie?? Gay guys can be assholes too, you know.

19th Mar 2009, 03:50 PM	#7
Wired106 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Norcal-San Francisco! Age: 20 Posts: 557 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: College Roomie?? I would definately choose to be roomed with someone that is gay or is okay with you being gay, because going all the way to college is going to be hard as is, and if you room with a straight guy who doesn't accept you then, it will make even living there harder. So you pretty much won't have a place to turn, which is why you should definately consider rooming with someone that is gay. __________________ "What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?" - Vincent Van Gogh "The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which to burn." - David Russell

19th Mar 2009, 03:54 PM	#8
jangel Well Known Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Maine Age: 30 Posts: 114 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: College Roomie?? I mean if you can find a friend great but if not who cares....they can move out if they want...then you are usually left with a single double for free until you or the college can find you one. Just be honest and like anything else set ROOMATE RULES it is really important I have had some really crummy roomates LOL in my experience the geekyier the better !!!! They are quiet, clean, and study LOL Best of luck I'm sure it will work out everyone is nervous about the roomate situation.

19th Mar 2009, 04:06 PM	#9
sdc91 Coop d'état Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Berlin, Germany Age: 21 Posts: 1,607 Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: College Roomie?? Do whatever you want. I have a straight roommate, and he's completely fine with it. You'll discover that at first guys will be homophobic to assert their masculinity, then they'll drop it and no one will care. At my school there are two guys rooming together who are obviously gay, and no one really cares. If you're more comfortable with a gay roommate, go for it. But, the matching process can work wonders, too. I'd rather get matched with a straight guy with the same interests than a gay guy who isn't into anything I'm into. __________________

19th Mar 2009, 05:32 PM	#10
Derek the Wolf Furry Overlord Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Majority Location: Illinois Age: 20 Posts: 1,325 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: College Roomie?? I'd go into it blind personally. If you get a gay roomie then it's no big deal. If you get a straight roomie who's open-minded then it's no big deal. If you get a bigot for a roommate then you'll have a chance to change someone's way of looking at gay people. I'd just leave it up to chance and see what happens. If you really think you'd be more compatible/comfortable with a gay roommate then go ahead and request one. ^.^ __________________

19th Mar 2009, 11:03 PM	#11
Hoppip look at the good i do Full Member Gender: Lv. 18 ♂ Orientation: Water / Dragon Out Status: Uncommon Location: Johto Posts: 1,562 Join Date: May 2008	Re: College Roomie?? I'd make an effort to get a gay-friendly roommate, but not a gay roommate. It could be really weird having a gay roommate, because there could be a sense of competition or uneasy/unrequited attraction. However, if I were you, I'd make an effort to find a gay-friendly roommate for sure. Why? Because then you could be sure that they were okay with you. You'd have the best college experience not being afraid or hating going to your dorm--your whole college experience will be ruined if you're hating going to bed every night. It'll make life hell, and that's one thing you don't need added onto your itinerary when dealing with the normal stresses of college life. The effort you put in now will pay off when you don't have to deal with some closed-minded kid who's gonna be awkward about everything. It'll be a great weight off of yours AND his shoulders. I wouldn't recommend blind rooming because it's very unexpected the type of personality you'll get. The chances of you getting someone your type will be completely ramped up if you at least make an effort to filter out the ones you don't want. :') Anyway, I wish you good luck and I hope you get an awesome roommate! :') __________________ KUDOS ME. I made myshelf pregnant.

19th Mar 2009, 11:21 PM	#12
Greggers Sunshine & Optimism ...also Angels. Full Member Gender: Theatre Queen Orientation: Disco Sticks Out Status: Everyone and a few more Location: BC, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 3,528 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: College Roomie?? Id rather have a gay-friendly asshole than a non gay-friendly asshole got for it! __________________ "It's a male duck."

21st Mar 2009, 03:11 PM	#13
Bryan EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: bestfriend & parents Location: South Florida Age: 21 Posts: 530 Join Date: Aug 2007	Re: College Roomie?? Thanks for the advice guys! I am probably going to end up rooming blind, so we'll see.

21st Mar 2009, 03:40 PM	#14
littledinosaurs J'essaie de Parler Français! :] Full Member Gender: Garçon Orientation: Bisexuel Location: Nouvelle-Angleterre. Age: 21 Posts: 2,351 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: College Roomie?? i would see if you could ask for someone who is open minded, but not gay. i would hate to have a gay roommate...which sounds odd but w.e. __________________ Âllo Là

21st Mar 2009, 05:42 PM	#15
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: College Roomie?? I went blind. And I got a rich, stuck-up guy from a privledged home with whom I had nothing in common. ...we're still friends. Lex

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