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How do we get past that being gay/trans is about "confusion" when we are confused?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by SkyWinter, Sep 1, 2016.

  1. SkyWinter

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    The number one thing you hear from people not in the LGBT world is "Oh, you aren't gay/lesbian/bi/trans, you're just confused", but how do we argue against that when so many of us are indeed confused? There are stories everyday in the support area from people who are confused about their sexuality or gender. Including me.

    Any thoughts about this?
     
  2. AlamoCity

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    Re: How do we get past that being gay/trans is about "confusion" when we are confused

    It's a grey area because fighting against the whole "confusion" part undermines the ability of people to "explore" themselves without self-stigma. Making absolutes (i.e. You either are or aren't LGBT) prevents people from learning who they are. But, it also raises the issue that makes LGBT-identifying people's identity seem like a conclusion after deliberation rather than an inherent, intrinsic fact. Couple that with the fact that some trans* people aren't "transsexual" but "queer" and we are left with many labels that make it hard to explain the diversity of being LGBT.

    I'm rather thankful to be a gay cis male. It's one of the "easier" combinations.
     
  3. PatrickUK

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    Re: How do we get past that being gay/trans is about "confusion" when we are confused

    Confused, you may be, but it doesn't automatically follow that you are not GLBT. In actual fact, the confusion that you are feeling raises very real questions about your sexual orientation and/or gender identity and these are questions that need to be explored.
     
  4. Lambeau

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    Re: How do we get past that being gay/trans is about "confusion" when we are confused

    If you told a straight person they were confused about being straight, that would seem ridiculous. Of course they're straight! I don't see how it has to be any different for LGBT people. While a lot of us may be confused about our sexuality/gender at some point, the people who are truly confused are the ones who we are telling. A lot of times they don't fully understand what it means to be LGBT, so because they are confused, they often play it off as if we're the confused ones.
     
  5. Lambeau

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    Re: How do we get past that being gay/trans is about "confusion" when we are confused

    If you told a straight person they were confused about being straight, that would seem ridiculous. Of course they're straight! I don't see how it has to be any different for LGBT people. While a lot of us may be confused about our sexuality/gender at some point, the people who are truly confused are the ones who we are telling. A lot of times they don't fully understand what it means to be LGBT, so because they are confused, they often play it off as if we're the confused ones.