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How did you do it?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by WhiteWinter, Sep 5, 2016.

  1. WhiteWinter

    Regular Member

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    I don't have the guts to come out to my family right now. It's not the the time. But I still want to know how you guys did it. How you had the guts to do it. When you chose the time to do it. How nerve-wracking it was.:confused:
     
  2. TheChainedPegasus

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    I'm seriously thinking about telling my family. I just don't think it's the good time right now.

    You have to understand that every family is different, so, in the first place, you have to know is your family is LGBT-friendly/supportive/don'tcarecusyou'retheirson.

    Try to take some LGBT trends and see their reactions. If you see that they don't like/hate the LGBT community, I'd suggest to not tell them right now.

    But if the closeted state is too much for you, try to tell your best friends, or at least those who are supportive. I find it easier to come out to friends than to family.

    And, if by the process you lose a friend just because you are gay, don't worry. You don't need them.
    BUT if one of your friends becomes less close to you then before, make them know it hurts you to lose them.

    Stay strong no matter what, and if anything goes bad, don't forget that EC is here for you (&&&)
     
  3. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

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    First off, welcome to EC! (*hug*)

    I came out to my parents in a typed out letter. I think it was June 12th 2012. I first came out as lesbian, because back then I was sure I am lesbian. Then stuff happened and I realized I'm actually bisexual, because I like men too. Well, I came out a second time, also in a letter. Both those times I changed my "interested in" on Facebook to "women"; only to change it to "men and women" and then hiding it completely. I'm sure most of my family and friends know by now.

    As time went on, it became easier for me to talk about my sexuality. I can now come out to people face-to-face, and even though it's a pretty big deal, I manage to make it sound like "a-matter-of-fact" kind of thing... :grin: So for me, the more comfortable I've become with it myself, the more comfortable I was/am telling others about it. You will know when it's time to tell other people, but I would advise you to first come out to a close friend whom you can trust. Then once you've gotten the first coming out behind you, it will gradually become easier. Just remember that not everyone will react the same.

    And there are 5 stages of grief/acceptance that each person has to go through, including the LGBT+ individual (Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance). It doesn't always happen in that order though, and can even jump back and forth between two stages, and some stages last for a day, whilst others can last for about a year or two even. So patience is key here. First, find inner peace. Learn to accept that part of yourself first and foremost.

    My coming out was pretty nerve-wracking. My parents and sister are very homophobic and we were raised to see homosexuality as a sin, so like many others on here, I went through quite a rough time accepting my bisexuality, and getting to the point I am at now. It's no walk in the park, but coming out for the first time is super liberating. It sets all those raw emotions free, and you feel like you can shout it from the rooftop.

    Well, we're all here for you, to give advice and guidance or just lend a listening ear (*hug*)
     
  4. KarenLyn

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    I think my mom already knew I was bisexual even before I did... mom was always open minded about that and coming out to her was scary and just getting the words out was tough... as far as the rest of the family... we go caught so the cat was outta the bag. Good luck! You'll know when the time is right.
     
  5. Andrew99

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  6. WhiteWinter

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    Here is my scenario. I have a mixture in my family. My mom is most likely bisexual considering she's dated women in the past as well as men. I have sisters who don't really mind it either. Now here are the cons. My grandparents are not supportive at all. Everytime I go and sleep over at their house, they always talk about how homosexuality is a sin and it's wrong,etc. I hate them for that but I still love them. I know that they don't like my mother's bisexuality so I know that their opinion on me would change massively if I told them. Also there are my friends. They all mean the world to me and I know I'll lose some of them. Where I am, the word gay gets tossed around as an insult all the time. That's why I'm so terrified and why I haven't done it yet

    On side note: thank you for being here for me when people I actually know won't understand. :slight_smile: