-I hang out with people who offer to hang out with me. -Friend gets angry with me. -Friend tells another friend. -The other friend tells me. -I feel guilty about it and it ruins my day. This has been a constantly happening for the past year. I have confronted about if she's having issues with me just tell me but this cycle keeps going. So I'm to the point of where I'm just over it. Anywho have you had problems with friends that keep arising and if so how do you deal with it?
I don't have any friends, which is pretty much the only benefit of being too awkward for people to be around. So I don't have to worry about all that drama. When I used to be less awkward, I just talked to them about it, and if they wouldn't give their time to talk about it, I would just stop being as invested in the friendship.
For me...the word "FRIEND" is a very powerful word ...just like for me...the word "LOVE" is and unfortunately, there are people out there who takes advantage of these words or uses them very loosely. With me...I have had dealings with so-called friends who have done similar things to me as you spoken of in your initial post. The way I look at it is that although these situations are very hurtful...the fact of the matter is that there is a lesson for you to obtain. You see...the lesson I learned is to be very cautious/careful of whom I bring into my environment as well as whom I call my "friend". I have lots of acquaintances ....but a very small group of friends and these individuals have been in my life for over the past 16 years. I've had a friend (Ron)whom I've known since I was 19. Although he had some behavior patterns that were questionable, but to my knowledge, he had never put me in harm's way until the latter years of our friendship prior to my kicking his ass to the curb. Throughout our friendship...there have been many people who have seen him as a disloyal friend or better yet...someone that I should put at a distance and everytime someone said anything negative about him...I would come to his defense. Until the one incident that got the ball rolling for me to see him at face value. I was going through my "dating phase" because I have always been in long standing relationships. So...this one evening, I met this guy who would visit the club that I was bartending at. We hit it off and began to spend a lot of time with each other. In the meantime...me and my "friend" at that time had places in the same condominium property area and while I was getting ready for a date with this guy...my friend came by for a visit. I told him about my date and he wanted to meet him since I've been hanging out with this guy for awhile. So...when my guy came by...he met him and they engaged into a little conversation while I was in my bedroom closet grabbing my jacket. Me and my guy had a wonderful time that evening...so wonderful that my guy did not want the evening to end. The next morning...I was about to get up and cook breakfast for him when he jumped up out of bed and went into the pocket of his jacket and handed over this card to me. To my surprise, the card was from Ron and it had all of his contact information on it. My guy went on to explain to me that Ron had given him the card and asked him out while I was in the bedroom. My guy said he decided to give me the card because he really liked me a lot and wanted me to be aware what Ron was doing behind my back. Later on that day...I was out running errands and on my way back home...I run into Ron. He approached me with this huge smile on his face and I decided that I will act like I do not know anything for now...and then drop my bomb at the appropriate time which I did. While he was asking about my date and how nice he thought my guy was...I then went into my pocket and pulled out his card and told him..."By the way..my guy gave this to me this morning and he went on to tell me that you gave this to him while you were at my place after I introduced you two. Anyway, after spending last night with me...he had such a wonderful time that he spent the night and he decided to give me your card because after last night...there is no need to even consider calling you". The look on Ron's face was priceless and what make matters worst is that I did not come across angry or even used profane language. I was very calm and reserved and had a huge smile on my face when I gave him back his card. After I said what I had to say...I told him goodbye and that was that. This was the incident that opened the door for me to be careful of whom I call my "friend". After I deleted him from my life...all of a sudden...I found out all kinds of things he was saying about me behind my back but he confided in the wrong people because those individuals that he talked about me to did not like him from the beginning and therefore, he just gave them the opportunity to say what they had been wanting to say to him for quite some time but did not because they were putting aside due to my friendship with him. In conclusion...take this as a learning curve that is teaching you to that its time for you to get rid of the riff raff in order for a new set of friends to come into your life. This is what happened to me and this is my advice to you...don't take it to heart because if they were your true friends then you would not be going through this drama ...so its time to clean house!!!!!
Always go for quality over quantity with friends, OP. If they're constantly bitching at you and making you more miserable, if your 'friends' aren't improving your life, then what are they? EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES. Make like Buffy and stake those fuckers in the heart (metaphorically). When friendship works out it really helps me feel grateful to be alive. More than most things.
In my experience It is fairly common pattern of behavior, especially at younger ages in friendships between women. If you want to break the friendship than do so but it should be fairly easy to make up with the friend by talking to them and accepting their anger as something that originates elsewhere in that friend's life. If someone becomes angry I usually just try to understand if they are going through something and see if they are ok.
I don't want to break the friendship but I do want to take a break from the person. I need some time to focus on my sanity before I can fully put my attention on someone else.
They don't sound like good friends. As an introvert, I prefer quality over quantity. If that means I only have 1 or 2 friends, then so be it. Life is hard enough without friendship drama.
Second that. Also if they complain about you behind your back and have your other friend tell you that's just rude.
I've got two friends who'll help me out in a heartbeat and I'm close to my cousins and family in general. I'd say I'm content with that and wouldn't want anything to stand in the way of my contention.
