I don't know if anyone can really answer this question but I always wanted to know is that if when ever my boyfriend Kent wanted oral sex he always just wants me to suck him and doesn't want to suck me but is that normal? My ex boyfriend was like that also that I was with for 8 years. Problem is that I love getting sucked too but is there a way to make Kent want to suck me more? Or is he just a receiver type and will never want to suck me much? I just feel cold when he doesn't want to suck me much. I remember this way back around the time I first met him when I was seeing him often in the first two weeks and then I remember two months ago when I saw him he wanted me to suck his nipple and his penis but he didn't ask to suck mine so I assumed he hasn't changed on the part that he is a receiver. All I can say is that most guys I was with when I had sex years ago loved sucking me but why does Kent don't suck much and just have me suck him?? He does let me be a top when having real sex but just when comes to sucking he wants me to all the time even I ask him to suck me more. Or is it that people with ADHD like him are like this? I remember my ex Adam had ADHD but also Bipolar so it was worse. ---------- Post added 17th Sep 2016 at 11:01 AM ---------- Or I thought maybe it's because of lack of not seeing him in person often? I know with Adam and Kent were both long distance relationships and I thought maybe that's why Kent doesn't know what I want? Or in time he will suck me more once he moves closer and I see him more often?
Although that even we been together for a year and 9 months I don't know for fact he is just a receiver but just so far that he never really asks me if he can suck me or he just does it right away a lot it's been me doing mostly. I remember this back in March 2015 around the time I met him. Also 2 months ago when staff wasn't around when I went to the bathroom in his home he just asked me to suck his nipple like he did before and his penis but never sucked mine or asked if he could suck me. It just seems like he doesn't like giving sex or is it too early to say this? Thank you
If you enjoy reciprocation and he isn't interested... that isn't OK. This sounds like a relationship where he asks for whatever, you do it, and he has no interest in doing anything you want. Not only is this not healthy, it reflects on your own self-worth. You need to ask for what you need, and you need to have a boyfriend who is willing to work with you (without your having to goad, guilt, or otherwise encourage him). That may not be what you're used to doing, but in any relationship, there should be give and take, and there should be mutual understanding and compromise. It doesn't sound like there's much here.
Some guys are okay with this situation...however...I am not one of those guys. Apparently you're not either because you are posting your concerns about it here on the forum. I recall dealing with a guy one time who kept pursuing me sexually until it finally happened. What disappointed me was that he wanted to be the receiver of all sexual acts that we were engaging at that time which was foreplay and yet...he did not want to give back what he wanted me to do with him. I immediately jumped out of bed, put on my clothes and went home. What I found to be agonizing was that this guy contacted me the next day and preceded to start an argument with me in regards to why I am having issues with him not being an equal partner while performing sex? For me...if you have a problem giving back then what is their to argue about??? It's for me a done deal..I cannot deal or will not deal with someone who will not give back what I am giving to you sexually. However, back to you...you've mentioned that there have been previous boyfriends who have reciprocated the same behavior as your current boyfriend. If you are adamant about having a give and take partner in your relationship then perhaps you need to have an direct conversation with your boyfriend and display your concerns and your feeling about this and see if he's willing to change things for your relationship. And if not..then whether you stay in this relationship is up to you but remember...if you do continue on..then there is a good chance in the near future that you will seek out or better yet...come across someone who will give you that give an take participation sexually and that will create more problems for you in the long run.
Chip made a very valid point. If your partner is one sided on pleasure I would question him. In my experience I've had hang ups around I like, I don't like, I'll do, and I won't do. Some things have come down to a simple talk solves the problem. If your feelings and desires are back burner to his after approaching and trying to talk then you need to think. You'll never get everything you want ever but your feelings, needs, and desires are important and you need to respect yourself first.
Well is this something I need to talk to him over the phone or in person? Since I can call him and say that he needs to give and take more but I don't know that if this is something you talk about in person. All I can say is that if I have to talk to him in person it's going to be awhile since he won't be moving out for a while maybe in 3 months he would. As of now I can only talk to him over the phone like I have been for almost two years. Although when I use to be able to see him few times a month I did see him in person. But since Lisa the manager said I can't go see him anymore then I have to wait till he moves out. But ether way it seems like you are saying that it's really bad his doing this and needs to stop and instead give and take. Also how should I explain to him that he should give and take instead of me just doing to him in oral sex? Thank you ---------- Post added 18th Sep 2016 at 12:14 PM ---------- Although I don't think he is 100% doing just what he wants since he is doesn't mind wearing latex or vinyl gloves for me all the time. I have a glove fetish and he is willing to do that for me he said. Also he does care about me if lets say I was planning to see him in the past he would say the weather is going to be bad so I would wait till next week. It might be just that he doesn't know a relationship works since after all I' am his first boyfriend he ever had. Before he just had sex with guys so his good at sex and leads the way that's for sure. But I just wondering how to teach him that he needs to be a giver also and not just receive when it's oral sex. At least with real sex he is ok me being top since I hate being bottom. Now I know my ex was a jerk and he was selfish but Kent isn't really like that overall just only when it comes to oral sex. Maybe in time when we really see each other in person often he would be willing to be a giver on oral sex?
