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Gay and depressed please read

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Chrisdta, Oct 1, 2016.

  1. Chrisdta

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I knew I was gay my whole life but I have always kept it a secret you can't tell I'm gay at all I don't talk or walk gay. I had a couple of GFs growing up just so I can go on with this little secret I have or should I say big secret but I am now 19 about to be 20 and it have been the most depressing 20 years. Having to hide who you are from everyone , everytime I go to a family get together my brother will bring his GF and my family will say where's your GF? I feel they Will eventually find out im gay and It will be hell. I can't come out because I know my Mom and dad won't accept me shit I hardly accept me like if we are driving and see someone gay they will say look at that faggot and my brother favorite line is how can someone be gay. I feel so isolated with no one to talk to my mom know that my doctor diagnosed me with depression but they don't know what I'm depressed for so they keep saying you just need to get you a GF. I feel I won't live long I can't live like this ...... thank you if you read this
     
  2. 3n

    3n Guest

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    Location:
    Louisiana
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    I know how you feel. Most of my family isn't accepting (besides my mom and sister, thank god), so I know what it's like. To live a lie, and pretend to be something you aren't. I know it sucks, and it's not fair, and just bloody horrible; but keep pushing on. You said you were twenty? You've been pushing too far to give up now, and by giving up you give up yourself. Maybe it'll be tomorrow, maybe it'll be a year, but one day things will change (and for the better). If you need someone to talk to or just to vent, feel free to post on my wall :thumbsup:. Stay strong and stay awesome my friend!
     
  3. ForNarnia

    Full Member

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    That really sucks. I hope things get better soon. xx
     
  4. 108

    108
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    TN
    Gender:
    Male
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It too me until I was 27 to come out because of my family and the world around me. I was horribly depressed for many years because of it, at one point in my teens had a suicide attempt and ended up in a care center. I understand how you feel. But, it sounds so cliche, it does get better and even though it hands to accept yourself, that's the first step to becoming happy. You need to realize there's nothing wrong with your sexuality, and build your life so that you're independent from your family. Then, if you decide to come out to them, any physical, not emotional negative outcomes are minimalized. I was lucky, my family are very religious and have said homophobic things throughout my life, but when I actually came out to them everyone was surprisingly supportive.
     
  5. oh my god I

    Regular Member

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    Ugh. You need to get the space to be you. Is there any way you could some distance from your family? I was in a similar place at 20 and I know how soul crushing it is to have to hide yourself and feel like your family would not accept you. Just know that it's NOT your fault... the way your family treats you and others and the stuff you have to put up with, you don't deserve that at ALL. You absolutely deserve to have a space to express and to be you. Could you maybe see a therapist? Then you could just tell your family it's for anxiety or depression or something like that.