How Shallow Are You ?

While insides are important, at the same time I have to be somewhat physically attracted to them or realistically nothing's gonna happen.

 

Yeah I agree, I don't think I'm shallow, but there has to be some spark of physical attraction or I don't want their parts anywhere near my parts.

 

Right now, probably not. But I've never been on a date so we'll have to see. I tend to say I won't do things but then I do - or wish I did.

 

If they are a total asshole but really hot, I would be attracted to them but not want to date them, but I think I like appearance over the way they act, if I like the way they act and not the way they look I'd probably just become friends with them...

 

I would not date someone I didn't find attractive. Period. It just wouldn't work. I feel like this is not the most important part, but I can't just push it aside either.

On the other hand, it's not like my standards are sky high either.

 

I think someone has to be both emotionally and physically attractive. Without emotional attraction, It's just a one night stand, but without physical attraction, It's just a friendship.

That's just how it goes.

However, physical standards vary from person to person. I find geeky people and chubby people to be attractive, despite the fact they are not conventional, and I'm turned off by conventional femininity. Also, sometimes if someone is emotionally attractive enough, their physical appearance improves in my eyes. Though if it doesn't, I wouldn't bother dating them.

EDIT: Re-read the OP. If I was set up on a blind date, I wouldn't bother dating them period, unless they were that interesting. There's no way I would know them enough to even be attracted on an emotional basis, and that's not shallow!

 

Muscular guys over chubby guys. Yeah I'm kinda shallow. Also, you have to be masculine and have male genitalia.

 

There would have to be something that almost immediately drew me. Whether that is something physical yet simple, like nice eyes/smile, or (super cliché) if he was really good at making me laugh to the point where I was crying the entire time, then Id give him a shot

 

Quite. I fall for pretty boys with terrible attitudes (that's a part of their appeal, after all).

 

No. I couldn't date someone I considered very ugly or unattractive, but that wouldn't be the most important thing. If they are average-looking but have the greatest personality, I'd choose them over a beautiful or handsome asshole.

 

How ugly are we talking?

My last (and only) partner wasn't somebody I was physically attracted to, and that didn't last at all. He's a great person and we're still friends, but personally I'm not attracted to him.

Honestly it's kind of hard for me to say - you could consider me demisexual because I rarely get crushes on people and when I do, I have to like them as a person beforehand. Contrary to the part about my ex, I had a crush on a girl last year who, looking back, I do not consider physically attractive, but at the time I was attracted to her.

So I think that for me, being physically attracted to somebody is a fairly small part of it, but a fundamental one because it has to be there, even if it doesn't matter that much.

 

I'm shallow. I'd probably date someone JUST for their looks if they were attractive enough and their personality wasn't obnoxious- "True love", which as far as I know involves both sides being comfortable, not fawning over each other but rather discussing their interests and taking pleasure in the small things in life together, is something you learn anyway... I mean, I guess by that logic I could really fall in love with an ugly person just as easily as an attractive person, but I don't really have an interest in being with an unattractive person, and maybe them being unattractive might actually cause me to not relate to them as much- idk. All I know is I'm shallow, and really have no interest in anyone initially unless they have a beautiful face. :/

 

I wouldn't. I mean, yes I think the inside is more important than the outside and if I was trapped on an island with an ugly saint and a beautiful d-bag I like to think I'd go for the ugly guy. But luckily I'm not trapped on said island and the world is full of guys who are smart, kind and beautiful. Yeah, you're going to kiss a few toads along the way (sometimes it'll even be fun), but why wouldn't you hold out for the whole package?

 

Debatable. To me personality and interests and character are important as well as looks. It really depends on the person; if someone is super attractive but their personality just doesn't click with me I wouldn't be into them either. It's really a mixture of both.

Sometimes people who I don't notice at first looks-wise become more attractive to me as I get to know them better, there's that too.

 

Same here, and for me it also goes the other way in that I will start to find people less attractive if I don't like their personality (even if they're really good-looking).

The inside is always more important, though. I'd never even consider dating somebody with a bad personality, whereas I would at least consider dating somebody I wasn't physically attracted to.

 

Hiya Gunsmoke! Nice to see ya around, how've you been?

I relate to this as well. I'm demi but I seem to have a preference or type physically. When I see people like this I sometimes find them aesthetically attractive but if they open their mouth and I learn that their personality is terrible I lose the attraction completely.

On the flip side I've met people I didn't find attractive in any way initially and then after getting to know them it would hit me suddenly and I'd find them "pretty", or "handsome".

For most people it's probably a combination of attractive personality + maybe not ideal looks, not sure though.

 

There is never going to be a world in which that dichotomy realistically exists. It is generally not healthy to date someone to whom you have no sexual attraction.

There's no need to settle for people you dislike, or for people you just don't find attractive in the slightest. You don't have to be desperate in order not to be shallow.

 

Hi there! Sorry for disappearing for a little bit, I got quite busy - but I'm okay, thanks. How are you?

Same here, to be honest. Then again, if they have something as simple as dark hair then hey, that's at least one thing I'm going to find attractive, right? In terms of physical appearance I'm genuinely not very fussy at all.

 

It depends on who is asking really, I won't date some dude and pretend to be straight to appease the family, no.

I would however date someone who isn't "attractive" but mentally outweighs me, as to me the mind is the most attractive trait one can have. I want to date someone who makes me feel intellectually abysmal, with a such beautiful mind and a bright personality how would I say no?
I'm also one of those types who feels going after someone based solely on appearance and "going at it" in the first week to be an absurdity. Brings back old memories of how I had a condescending attitude and would silently look down upon the straight guys who would attempt to sleep with as many different people as possible I assume for social status. I was unaware that the response factor was inverted for males until high school.

So I guess I'd say as far as my orientation yes, but in minor attributes like facial structure and height I'd say no. I could use a little attitude adjustment though.