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Asking to be equal in sex

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Worgen2, Oct 3, 2016.

  1. Worgen2

    Worgen2 Guest

    Should I ask my boyfriend over the phone about if we ever have sex again he needs to be equal on giving and receiving sex like if I suck him he sucks me back? Since in the past it's always been me sucking him and he doesn't suck me much back. He would cuddle or he would lie on top of me and touch me but just doesn't play with me penis much or suck me but he loves when I do it to him and sucking his nipple.

    As of now until he moves he won't be able to see me and that could take few months but I can talk to him on the phone and was wondering if I should ask this now or when I see him in person and before having sex?
     
  2. ForNarnia

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    If it's something you want, you should definitely tell him. I think how you tell him depends entirely on your relationship etc, but personally, I'd tell him in person. It's entirely up to you of course, I don't have any experience in this area. Hope it goes well, let us know how he takes it :slight_smile:
     
  3. Worgen2

    Worgen2 Guest

    Does everyone agree that probably I should ask in person? Or how could I know if it's totally ok to ask him over phone since if it depends on relationship? Thanks
     
  4. Worgen2

    Worgen2 Guest

    I did end up asking him if he will promise to do it and he said yes so I guess hopefully he will remember when we meet again. I probably will remind him later so he remembers.

    It seems like you guys didn't know for sure so that's why I went ahead and asked. Originally I was planning to tell him right before we have sex in the future but maybe it was good I asked him now.
     
  5. Barbatus

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    Hi DallasPikachu,

    I'm glad you told him. If you want some equality in your sexual activities that is something you are entitled to - relationships are reciprocal. (I wouldn't worry so much about phoning him to do it.) Hope it works out.
     
  6. JonSomebody

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    I really think that this is a conversation to be held in person instead of over the phone for sure.
     
  7. Worgen2

    Worgen2 Guest

    Also it could of been that since I' am his first real lover that he doesn't know these things to be equal and stuff since before me he only had sex with guys and if you were just doing that it didn't matter much to be equal right? I did ask him later yesterday and since I remember that he was tired when I asked him first time but he said he remembers so that's good news. But as you know when we actually meet again and start to have sex I am going to remind him just in case since it's probably going to be a while since we do and he might just go by habit and forget and just reminding him in person this time will be good I think. Also since he has strong ADHD I noticed there are times that he would forget certain things but I assume he won't forget this but just have to remind him will be best probably. Do you guys agree people with ADHD have to be reminded a lot on certain things?
     
  8. Barbatus

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    Hi DallasPikachu,

    Given what you say, maybe speak to him when you see him but not just as you are about have sex. Speak to him when you are just hanging out and explain to him that it is important to you that you are equal partners in sexual activity and that, because you are a couple, you can take the time to explore what you like to do together and to each other. You might also point out that making things equal is about expressing you feelings for each other as well. Just some ideas. Hope things work out for you guys. :slight_smile:

    P.S. I have no experience of the ADHD angle and so have not commented on it.
     
    #8 Barbatus, Oct 4, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2016
  9. Worgen2

    Worgen2 Guest

    Ya probably that is a good idea but maybe someone that knows someone that also has ADHD might be able to give more ideas? Kent is more of Hyperness than the AD part of ADHD but he does have ADHD all in all. Since he has problems talking on the phone too like most ADHD people.


    Thank you guys for your help so far btw. :slight_smile: