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Microaggressions towards LGBTQ+ people in school and in the workplace?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by ConnectedToWall, Oct 9, 2016.

  1. ConnectedToWall

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    I know some people may consider me a sensitive soul, but to me, subtle insults really matter. They tend to reveal people's true feelings about others, whether they are completely aware of it or not. Sometimes the people with the best intentions make mistakes and slip up, obviously. But still, I think microaggressions are a hard thing for any minority group or any person to endure.

    I just wanted a place to talk about microaggressions you have experienced.

    I think one of the worst one's I personally ever heard was from my teacher, and it was mainly insulting because they were someone claiming to support the LGBTQ+ community, but then they said something that completely undermined it and--well growing up can be a very disillusioning experience, and I feel like, if even the people who are supposed to be supportive are against us...well how is it going to be in the workplace full of non-supportive people? That's me getting into more personal struggles though.

    What were your experiences with this topic?
     
  2. 108

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    I have to hear awful slurs on a daily basis. If I had experience or training in any other field, I would be gone. I can't afford and don't have time to attend school for a new career either. I'm trapped and if I defended myself (coworker's arethe only people I'm not out to), then I would likely be fired.
     
  3. Cinis

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    Mostly it's people just being uneducated with no harmful intent behind it. And even if it is you learn to brush it off.

    I mean..where would I get if I let microagressions bother me?
    (funny word though)
     
  4. DarkWater

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    I just get over it. Yeah it upsets me but I just bla...I just replace those feelings with something else, like I think of something funny. I know, lame but that is realistically what I can do.
     
  5. ConnectedToWall

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    I guess I just have this idealistic view that the world can love and accept minority groups and microaggressions just chip away at that.
     
  6. faustian1

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    I'm not all that thrilled with the term "microaggressions," but you have a pretty good definition for them. To paraphrase, they are the imperfections in our efforts to conceal what we really think, when we're trying to be "polite." As seems to be true for you, I also developed pretty good intuition for "reading" this from people's body language and so on. The intuition was, however, mostly a guess even if it turned out to be right on a frequent basis.

    In general, I am much happier being around people who honestly express their feelings (even if they aren't accepting), than those who try to pretend they are accepting, or who avoid even going there at all. By "honestly express" I don't mean being aggressive. I just mean expressing a direct opinion. It would be the kind of approach one might typically find, from many "New Yorkers."

    A hard thing for me to accomplish has been to accept that not everyone likes me. It is possible to not like someone, yet treat them with appropriate respect and recognize their boundaries. Many people fail at doing this. And, sometimes, they go to the extent of being "passive-aggressive," which can be exceptionally annoying. Being "passive-aggressive" is another phrase that could be a description of "microaggression."

    I learned a lot about those who work around non-accepting people, from a woman who, sadly, now has passed on. Her name was "Heidi," and she was a lesbian, a socialist, and also a trade unionist. Her favorite phrase was "that's bullshit!" I felt alone and shy in that work place, but Heidi always was accepting of me and was always fun to talk to. She had plenty of detractors, but was never shy about sticking up for herself, and the most impressive part, she was never bitter nor non-accepting of others. I admired her a lot, because i know how hard it is, under that pressure, to remain strong and self-assured, and to stick up for yourself while being good to others. Sure, she had a lot of detractors, but she made one hell of a lot of friends over the years, too. She put her energies into them, mostly, without over-thinking the haters and the nay-sayers.
     
    #6 faustian1, Oct 9, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2016
  7. iiimee

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    Microaggresions are micro for a reason: Not everyone agrees with you, and some people are jerks, but they haven't actually caused you any real harm unless you let them. It's one of those things where you just need to be the mature one.
     
  8. ConnectedToWall

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    That's inspiring. I'm so sorry to hear that she has passed away. I hope that one day I can be more like that. Right now, I feel like I am struggling to figure out when it would be a good idea to stand up for myself and when it would be a good idea to just let it go. It's hard because if someone says they're an ally, but then says something negative towards the LGBTQ+ community but it's in a subtle way, I feel hesitant to call them out because I don't want potential allies to feel like they can't talk about the LGBTQ+ community at all.
     
  9. ForNarnia

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    I don't really count microaggressions as letting things slip, I'd only really consider it a microaggression if it is purposely intended to upset people. (Like a snide comment etc)
    If it's just a slip, I forgive it fairly quickly. Where I come from, a lot of people are raised to believe certain things, and it can be hard to go against that. Everyone's bound to make few slips here and there.
     
  10. ConnectedToWall

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    Well, I think that's what's bothering me. My teacher was annoyed at me for something else, and I almost wonder if what she said was intentional, passive-aggressive type revenge. I've seen her do that before to other students, but it was never to insult an entire minority! Just to get back at one person? And she's really careful about what she says too, normally, I think it was intentional, I'm just not completely sure.