I am not sure exactly where to put this. If it is in the wrong place maybe a mod can move it. My name is Austin and my little brother Casey (IamCasey) is a member here. He is really depressed and mad at the same time. I know he has posted how our Dad did not back him when our new step bro called him a faggot. The thing is Dad has more or less turned his back on all of us since he remarried. I stopped going on our weekend visits within 2 weeks of his surprise marriage. Since then I have found out that Casey was trying hard to get along with them. And that Dad or his new wife were treating her 2 kids more favorably than they were Casey. All that being said, Dad has made his choices. And I have tried to talk to him but he just says that Casey and I are not trying. That Casey being gay is just a phase and that once he gets over it things will be ok. I know my little bro. This is not a phase. My question is how can I help him? Has anyone here ever been through something like this? I have tried to get Casey to stop worrying about it and to be who he is. He is usually a happy, crazy kid. Any help will be appreciated! And Casey? When you read this, just remember I am trying to help!
You sound like an awesome older brother. To answer the question posed in your original post, the best thing you can do is to be there for your brother and do your best to empathize... imagine what it feels like to be in his shoes and then let him know that you have some idea of how that must feel. That will help him feel more open to you and invite him to open up further. You might also open up about how your dad's behavior is hurting *you* as well, and that you definitely know what it feels like to be abandoned by your father. On a practical level, remind him that it's nothing he did, that his dad is apparently simply not in a place to be able to understand and accept him, but that in no way changes or invalidates who he is. And... you can also encourage your brother to make contact with one of our advisors. They can talk one-on-one with him and help him better understand his feelings.
My dad is kind of the same. It can be really hard when someone you love treats you like that, so I have total sympathy for your younger brother. At the same time, I am also an older sibling, and I understand the need to protect our little brothers. At this time, all you can really do is stand in his corner and always be there for him. So long as you are on his side, he is not alone. Also, maybe try talking to him about what he wants to do. If he really wants to get along with them, maybe it would be better for him if you went on the weekend visits with him. I really hope stuff works out for you guys. Sorry my advice sucks haha Good luck, and don't let the bastards grind you down
