writing attempt.

I really like it

 

Try to use a lityle more imagry. That might help

 

Just remember that whatever I say next, it's only because I would like to see your writing improve. You have talent, but I'd like to build on that.

It's like PWP, but with fighting. There isn't really a plot to take a foot hold of. Instead of having character biographies, it would form a richer world if you introduced the characters within the story and gave their respective descriptions there. To further your characters, you have begun to given them distinctive fighting styles which is great. Keep building on that.

Also, you really should think about getting yourself a decent editor. Your grammar and spelling aren't hugely distorted, but if the professional aspect of it was more professional it would make for a better read. (I wouldn't mind beta-ing for you if you want.)

You tend to put details in weird places and leave them out when they should be included. These people seem to be invunerable. They don't bleed or anything that would naturally come from being thrown through a wall. "Keem slid and rolled for a distance of eight feet before he stopped and was able to stand back up." For exactly a distance of eight feet, eh?

Lastly, I think that dialogue is not your strong point. It feels stiff and choppy in places. The characters are flat and very similar when they speak. I would either try to cut back on the dialogue or refine what you have.

I would like to say that you plan out the fight scene rather well. Fghts scenes can get repetitive and you have mostly avoided that pitfall. Keep working on it and I'm sure you will improve with leaps and bounds.