Is Sexuality Really That Fluid?

It depends on the situation.

For some people it is, for some it isn't. Women are kind of pushed into sexist views of sexuality, though. For example, if a lesbian marries a man, even if she's closeted, It's seen as being fluid. But a gay guy could marry a man and still be seen as gay and closeted the whole time. Other lesbians date men because they live in denial/the closet and realize that dating men is a easier life. They sometimes use men as beards like gay guys do, but this is written off as being 'fluid'.

I don't know if that was the case for the people you know, but it could be a possibility in general.

 

Being sexually fluid is both of being who you are and a choice. There really are hardcore straight men and women out there. Meaning, whatever you do, they are not attracted to the same-sex and they won't touch them even for fun or curiosity. My thinking is that if you do have the tendency (to be not straight) then you do have. If you don't have the tendency then you don't have. You can read a lot of stories from the EC members being straight their whole life then suddenly, they met a lovely man/woman and suddenly it changed the angle of their sexuality 180-360 degrees. Why only in the later life? Why only now, they asked? We don't know really. My usual answer is, well, maybe, it's about time. It's who you are. Period. Now, some bi women like me, can be predominantly straight and "incidentally" gay. I am 80:20; 80% female and 20% male. My 20% had been dormant for about many years until I met a woman who stirred it and for some reason it was awakened (so this is what "incidentally" mean). Now, I want to be in relationship with her. I'm lucky that I have a one-way open marriage and I can do this without sacrificing my 80%. So, in my situation, will you call this sexually fluid? Maybe. Maybe not.

 

I don't really know. For me, sexuality is very set-in-stone, so its hard for me to imagine my having a fluid sexuality. I'm sure others feel differently, though.

 

Not for me. I am attracted to women completely. I never see myself truly wanting a man.

 

Not for me. Guys all the way!

 

Honestly I kind of hate the implication that all sexuality is fluid because it diminishes bisexuality - like, people will go "oh, you'll make your mind up one day", it's just another way for people to ignore the existence of bisexuality and refuse to acknowledge it as a legitimate orientation in my opinion. Sure, some people might be fluid, but I don't think it's that common.

 

It also diminishes homosexuality. It basically states that a woman cannot be a real lesbian and has to like/sleep with men. That she's in denial about who she is and will 'change her mind one day'.

Overall, it doesn't do much good for the LGBT community as a whole.

 

I mean I felt more straight before and now I feel quite gay. I suppose that averages out to bi but I'm not that into the idea of doing anything with guys these days so I can never feel fully satisfied with "bi". The idea that however, if I wanted to call myself gay, I'd have too prove to myself that I was really gay all along, is stressful. So in that sense I would like to subscribe to this fluidity discourse. However, I find the idea of fluidity in practice to sound terrifying because I would really rather things stayed like this now. In reality I imagine that i am bi and always have been but am on that gayer end of the Kinsey scale that is awkward to define and hard to live in, and have only just really discovered that.

 

Yep, this too!

I think sexuality can sometimes be fluid for bi/pansexuals - e.g., I'm probably about 65% interested in women and 35% interested in men, but those numbers can change. That's all, though, I don't think that sexuality in general is fluid.

 

I don't know my sexuality anymore. Somedays I'm gay or bi. Somedays I like everybody. I'm never straight though. I don't care about labels anyway. I'm just gonna be me.

 

It might be fluid for some, not for others. I know a couple of women like what you mentioned, started out dating women, then started to date men. I know some women however that have done the reverse also. I knew of a couple of people who have always been very fluid, including mixed threesomes.

I used to date women exclusively women, and was in a long term relationship with one woman. After she passed away, I went for a while not dating anyone, then started hanging around with a male friend, which eventually lead to a dating relationship. He's the only guy I've ever had any kind of attraction to. I still have a attraction to women, just not acting on it right now because I'm in a relationship with him. If the relationship ended I would probably go back to dating women. I don't know if my sexuality changed as I got older or if I was a bisexual all along, but the circumstances weren't right to reveal it. I also don't know what is exactly responsible for sexual desire. I don't know why I have an attraction to just him, he's not significantly different looking than other masculine looking guys. It's just a weird anomaly, doesn't mean someone can use that to say something else is or isn't valid.

 

For me I'd say Open, not fluid. I don't find myself attracted to one and not other genders, then change that, I'm always attracted to all of them. Personality has more to do with my attraction that the body.

I do love me some good makeup skills, especially drag makeup skills but, any gender, and any orientation might attract me.And yes, I've had some unlikely mutuals on that.

 

I can't speak for others, but I have a life-long history of very fluid sexuality. Most of my interests growing up were male, but I've been through some times when I felt more lesbian. At this point, I'm sorta bi, sorta gay and often an ace.

 

I switch from anywhere within 2 and 5 on the Kinsey Scale a lot.
So yeah mine at least is fluid... Just depending on my mood I guess.

 

I suppose you answered your own question here. For me, is sexuality really that fluid? - No.
For others, I'm sure it can be. I've never actually met anyone that claims that in my immediate circle of friends and acquaintances but I have encountered many people online that believe it to be the case.

Ultimately though I imagine that it's really only something you worry about if your sexuality isn't fluid. Whatever is true for each of us doesn't really matter anyway so long as you accept and embrace your own sexuality and respect that of others.

 

Me same! It's so confusing. Although it depends on the time of the year a lot, so hormones must be in the play. Or something like this.

---------- Post added 26th Oct 2016 at 01:30 AM ----------

But... I'm not sure if it's not that my preferenves are constant but there is a people skew in different times of the year... or depending on situation. So then it wouldn't be fluid per say, just gender nonspecific.

 

My sexuality can fluctuate usually from kinsey 4 to kinsey 6, but i haven't had any fluidity in the last couple of months and I am currently a Kinsey 6. When I do have fluidity these periods only last a week or so.

 

When it does fluctuate, are you sexually attracted to women?

 

Personally, only a bit. I'm pan, with a strong preference for male-identified people, but every once in a while, I'll prefer the ladies for some time. It's kinda weird and I don't totally understand it but