can u be born straight... then turn gay?? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

jazzyspazzy · 28th Mar 2009, 12:25 PM

Ok, this is weird. From the age of five, i've always fancied guys. Never even considered girls as people to fancy. Then i started having crushes on girls at 12/13 - one or two at first, so i was like "ok, i must be bi." But now i'm looking at every girl to see if she's got nice hair or a nice bum. Guys just don't seem to be so hot anymore. The number of hot guys to hot girls is 1:30! I seem to be getting gayer day by day... has anybody else had this or am i just weird?

carrie90 · 28th Mar 2009, 12:30 PM

i dont think its wierd some people know there sexuality right from the off others discover it as they grow older. I look at girls more than guys now but still have cruses on boys so i get confused aswell

Brandford · 28th Mar 2009, 12:34 PM

i was the same way, i didnt become interested in guys until 8-9th grade before that, I loved girls, i had tons of girl crushes and id flirt with girls whenever i saw one i liked, but now i barely like any, I only had one boy crush when i was little and i didnt realize it was a crush until i started liking other guys

28th Mar 2009, 12:36 PM

I unfortunately never found any women attractive growing up and always liked to be around the guys. One day, I thought in my room, "Wow! I wonder what Daniel looks like naked?" I started getting thoughts like that. I knew I was supposed to be attracted to women, but I didnt connect the dots until someone basically told me what a homo really is and meant. XD

I can't imagine growing up and suddenly flipping the switch like a light or something. I don't understand how that works.

LornTehViking · 28th Mar 2009, 12:37 PM

I wouldn't consider that 'turning gay'.
I see it more as conforming to social ideals at a young age, and then when you hit puberty, you started to realize that wasn't who you really are.

Perfectly natural, not weird at all.

starfish · 28th Mar 2009, 12:38 PM

I would say likely not. I have 2 lines of thought on your post.

My thinking is that hormonal changes that occur when going through puberty are what is causing you to start noticing your preferred sex.

The second is that you have started to accepted your orientation. As such you are leaving your brain out of it and acting instinctually. We are all taught from a young age that boys go with girls. So wether we realize it or not we start following our social programming. Before I accepted my orientation, I used to notice and ogle woman. However it was a very proactive thing. Though now I don't really respond to women and will respond to men with out even thinking about it. It just happens. As you said I have noticed that I am getting gayer.

Honestly there is a schism between what society tells us and our bodies tell us. So really it is not surprising for weird things to happen.

djt820 · 28th Mar 2009, 12:41 PM

This reminds me of what was going on in the transgendered thread. I dont think we're born any specific orientation. I hit puberty and I liked girls and I was extremely homophobic then that changed, I started liking guys little by little and now Im almost 100% gay.

Dazed · 28th Mar 2009, 12:46 PM

ive always liked girls.
since i was 4...but thats as early as i can remember anyway.
i was born gay. i tried dating guys in high school it failed. i wasnt into them at all.

Kenko · 28th Mar 2009, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lorntehviking

i Wouldn't Consider That 'turning Gay'.
I See It More As Conforming To Social Ideals At A Young Age, And Then When You Hit Puberty, You Started To Realize That Wasn't Who You Really Are.

Perfectly Natural, Not Weird At All.

+1

Mickey · 28th Mar 2009, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LornTehViking

I wouldn't consider that 'turning gay'.
I see it more as conforming to social ideals at a young age, and then when you hit puberty, you started to realize that wasn't who you really are.

Perfectly natural, not weird at all.

I agree with this. It usually hits in puberty. That is when people become sexually aware.

Just Adam · 28th Mar 2009, 01:51 PM

this isnt weird ive always thought of guys a little differently but up until 17 i really thought i was straight and after that i tried to convince myself but now i know im a gay guy i find about 1 in 50 women remotelly attractive if that but it would always be the person i love not the sex

Derek the Wolf · 28th Mar 2009, 01:53 PM

Sexuality does change dynamically for a lot of people. This doesn't mean that you've turned gay, but rather over time as you became more comfortable with your orientation then you've embraced it more. Even if you were completely comfortable with it when you discovered you were bi, you're more open to the possibility of same-sex attractions and it seems like you've become "more gay."
In the last 9 months I've gone from a Kinsey 2 to about 4.5, probably because I'm in an all-male environment. Bottom line, you don't become gay, but you may become gayer.

jazzrawr · 28th Mar 2009, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mickey

Quote:

Originally Posted by LornTehViking

I wouldn't consider that 'turning gay'.
I see it more as conforming to social ideals at a young age, and then when you hit puberty, you started to realize that wasn't who you really are.

Perfectly natural, not weird at all.

I agree with this. It usually hits in puberty. That is when people become sexually aware.

Exactly what I was thinking. Same thing happened to me, I liked guys because that's what everyone else did, until I got around 11-12 and started hitting puberty.
Then I started liking girls, and noticed guys less and less, and now I don't notice guys at all.
So it's probably as your hormones sort themselves out, you start realizing who you are.

joss22 · 28th Mar 2009, 01:56 PM

I agree with what everyone said, I mean, you may not realize it for a while, or you may just get an idea, which grows on you. That being said, it doesn't mean you can necessarily go back which a lot of homophobes seem to hope for. I think that is a part of you that is dynamic, but not under your own control.

Greggers · 28th Mar 2009, 02:02 PM

Well, i was never actually attracted to girls for as long as i can remember x_o but i agree puberty is a big change for alot of people and i would not say anyones orientation is set in stone until the person hits puberty

xXHolic · 28th Mar 2009, 03:53 PM

i was born a bisexual and im gonna die a bisexual

though i seek different things from guys and girls..

**Maddy** · 28th Mar 2009, 03:57 PM

It was the same sort of thing for me, I had kiddie crushes on guys up until about age 11 or 12. I think my sexuality's shifted a bit over time - sexuality's fluid, not rigid - but I don't believe I was ever straight. I knew I could be happy with a woman someday.

28th Mar 2009, 07:45 PM

I am/was (somewhat) the same way. I never had a gay thought in my life until I was 12 or 13. I had crushes on girls before that. But during middle school I started noticing guys, and then I gradually became less and less attracted to girls until it was clear that girls are not my thing.

Emberstone · 28th Mar 2009, 07:56 PM

I knew I was different, but growing up, I never thought about it. when I hit puberty, I went through the hormonal build up everyone goes through, and discovered that I had no interest at all in girls. I denied for a bit *not in a I hate myself, but I didnt acknowledge it to myself privately* that I was attracted to guys, but the more I grew as a person, the more I accepted it, until when between collage, at the edge of 24(nearly 25), I came out to my parents.

I personally believe sexuality is something difined at birth, and that you grow into it. What needs to change with socieity are the people who try to force you, or make you feel bad, by forcing you into what they think is right (while often not living it themselves... larry craig... ted haggard... etc.)

MusicIsLife · 28th Mar 2009, 09:54 PM

Well, before puberty hit I never really noticed guys, and i only hung around with girls. Typical kid that i was, i viewed boys as the enemy xD But after puberty, I did date a guy even though i felt no attraction for him. I did it mostly out of a 'thats what girls do, they date boys" kind of mindset.

28th Mar 2009, 12:25 PM	#1
jazzyspazzy Esto quad es - be yourself!!! Full Member Gender: Tomboy Orientation: Guys, girls who look like guys, genderqueer people Out Status: Anyone who looks at my facebook profile Location: Somerset Age: 17 Posts: 295 Join Date: Nov 2008	can u be born straight... then turn gay?? Ok, this is weird. From the age of five, i've always fancied guys. Never even considered girls as people to fancy. Then i started having crushes on girls at 12/13 - one or two at first, so i was like "ok, i must be bi." But now i'm looking at every girl to see if she's got nice hair or a nice bum. Guys just don't seem to be so hot anymore. The number of hot guys to hot girls is 1:30! I seem to be getting gayer day by day... has anybody else had this or am i just weird? __________________ Be the change you wish to see in the world - Mahatma Gandhi

28th Mar 2009, 12:30 PM	#2
carrie90 The square root of 4 is rainbows Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay Out Status: everybody really Location: Originally Montana but currently San Fransisco Age: 21 Posts: 1,327 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? i dont think its wierd some people know there sexuality right from the off others discover it as they grow older. I look at girls more than guys now but still have cruses on boys so i get confused aswell __________________ I empower my Cheerios to live in fear by creating an enviorment of irrational, random terror -Sue Sylvester

28th Mar 2009, 12:34 PM	#3
Brandford Friendly Misanthrope Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: everyone that asks,my mom (i think) and my sister Location: Woodbridge, VA Age: 19 Posts: 6,656 Join Date: Apr 2008	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? i was the same way, i didnt become interested in guys until 8-9th grade before that, I loved girls, i had tons of girl crushes and id flirt with girls whenever i saw one i liked, but now i barely like any, I only had one boy crush when i was little and i didnt realize it was a crush until i started liking other guys __________________ "I find nothing more depressing than optimism." --Paul Fussell

28th Mar 2009, 12:36 PM	#4
The Enigma Guest Posts: n/a	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? I unfortunately never found any women attractive growing up and always liked to be around the guys. One day, I thought in my room, "Wow! I wonder what Daniel looks like naked?" I started getting thoughts like that. I knew I was supposed to be attracted to women, but I didnt connect the dots until someone basically told me what a homo really is and meant. XD I can't imagine growing up and suddenly flipping the switch like a light or something. I don't understand how that works.

28th Mar 2009, 12:37 PM	#5
LornTehViking Banned Gender: I walk on the line you're not 'supposed' to cross. Orientation: Gay Out Status: I wasn't ever in. Location: Bumblefuck, Illinois Posts: 997 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? I wouldn't consider that 'turning gay'. I see it more as conforming to social ideals at a young age, and then when you hit puberty, you started to realize that wasn't who you really are. Perfectly natural, not weird at all.

28th Mar 2009, 12:38 PM	#6
starfish This space for lease. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I like guys Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Hippie Town, Alberta of the US Age: 31 Posts: 2,108 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? I would say likely not. I have 2 lines of thought on your post. My thinking is that hormonal changes that occur when going through puberty are what is causing you to start noticing your preferred sex. The second is that you have started to accepted your orientation. As such you are leaving your brain out of it and acting instinctually. We are all taught from a young age that boys go with girls. So wether we realize it or not we start following our social programming. Before I accepted my orientation, I used to notice and ogle woman. However it was a very proactive thing. Though now I don't really respond to women and will respond to men with out even thinking about it. It just happens. As you said I have noticed that I am getting gayer. Honestly there is a schism between what society tells us and our bodies tell us. So really it is not surprising for weird things to happen. __________________ All the problems of the world could be settled easily if men were only willing to think. The trouble is that men very often resort to all sorts of devices in order not to think, because thinking is such hard work. --Thomas J. Watson

28th Mar 2009, 12:41 PM	#7
djt820 Brutally Honest Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: DICKS EVERYWHERE Out Status: Like A Cock Slapping Your Face Kind-of Out. Location: SoCal Age: 19 Posts: 1,282 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? This reminds me of what was going on in the transgendered thread. I dont think we're born any specific orientation. I hit puberty and I liked girls and I was extremely homophobic then that changed, I started liking guys little by little and now Im almost 100% gay.

28th Mar 2009, 12:46 PM	#8
Dazed Banned Gender: ladyfella Orientation: MaddyBensexual Out Status: out to all :] Location: Richmond VA Age: 24 Posts: 2,189 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? ive always liked girls. since i was 4...but thats as early as i can remember anyway. i was born gay. i tried dating guys in high school it failed. i wasnt into them at all.

28th Mar 2009, 01:51 PM	#11
Just Adam Just passing through Full Member Gender: Something Orientation: Dunno Out Status: If they ask i will tell them Location: Wherever Age: 23 Posts: 6,002 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? this isnt weird ive always thought of guys a little differently but up until 17 i really thought i was straight and after that i tried to convince myself but now i know im a gay guy i find about 1 in 50 women remotelly attractive if that but it would always be the person i love not the sex __________________ There Used To Be A Point Of Things.

28th Mar 2009, 01:53 PM	#12
Derek the Wolf Furry Overlord Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: Majority Location: Illinois Age: 20 Posts: 1,325 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? Sexuality does change dynamically for a lot of people. This doesn't mean that you've turned gay, but rather over time as you became more comfortable with your orientation then you've embraced it more. Even if you were completely comfortable with it when you discovered you were bi, you're more open to the possibility of same-sex attractions and it seems like you've become "more gay." In the last 9 months I've gone from a Kinsey 2 to about 4.5, probably because I'm in an all-male environment. Bottom line, you don't become gay, but you may become gayer. __________________

28th Mar 2009, 01:56 PM	#14
joss22 Toasty Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to two friends Location: Massachusetts Age: 20 Posts: 286 Join Date: Jan 2009	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? I agree with what everyone said, I mean, you may not realize it for a while, or you may just get an idea, which grows on you. That being said, it doesn't mean you can necessarily go back which a lot of homophobes seem to hope for. I think that is a part of you that is dynamic, but not under your own control. __________________ ? + ! = ‽ & ؟♥?

28th Mar 2009, 02:02 PM	#15
Greggers Sunshine & Optimism ...also Angels. Full Member Gender: Theatre Queen Orientation: Disco Sticks Out Status: Everyone and a few more Location: BC, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 3,528 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? Well, i was never actually attracted to girls for as long as i can remember x_o but i agree puberty is a big change for alot of people and i would not say anyones orientation is set in stone until the person hits puberty __________________ "It's a male duck."

28th Mar 2009, 03:53 PM	#16
xXHolic Κοίταξέ με δυο φορές.. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: though was bi, but something has changed =/ Out Status: 99.9% Location: Athens, Greece Posts: 368 Join Date: Jan 2009	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? i was born a bisexual and im gonna die a bisexual though i seek different things from guys and girls.. __________________ all the birds shall sing at dawn, blessed and wet with joy. you and i will meet one day, under the night sky lit by soft black stars.

28th Mar 2009, 03:57 PM	#17
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,704 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? It was the same sort of thing for me, I had kiddie crushes on guys up until about age 11 or 12. I think my sexuality's shifted a bit over time - sexuality's fluid, not rigid - but I don't believe I was ever straight. I knew I could be happy with a woman someday. __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.

28th Mar 2009, 07:45 PM	#18
Drizzt DoUrden Guest Posts: n/a	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? I am/was (somewhat) the same way. I never had a gay thought in my life until I was 12 or 13. I had crushes on girls before that. But during middle school I started noticing guys, and then I gradually became less and less attracted to girls until it was clear that girls are not my thing.

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28th Mar 2009, 07:56 PM	#19
Emberstone Flappychap Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Oregon, USA Age: 28 Posts: 5,587 Join Date: May 2008	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? I knew I was different, but growing up, I never thought about it. when I hit puberty, I went through the hormonal build up everyone goes through, and discovered that I had no interest at all in girls. I denied for a bit not in a I hate myself, but I didnt acknowledge it to myself privately that I was attracted to guys, but the more I grew as a person, the more I accepted it, until when between collage, at the edge of 24(nearly 25), I came out to my parents. I personally believe sexuality is something difined at birth, and that you grow into it. What needs to change with socieity are the people who try to force you, or make you feel bad, by forcing you into what they think is right (while often not living it themselves... larry craig... ted haggard... etc.)

28th Mar 2009, 09:54 PM	#20
MusicIsLife EC Addict Full Member Gender: Not even sure anymore. Something in between. Orientation: I like girls :) Out Status: Everyone on orientation 7 people on trans issue. Location: Montréal, QC Age: 23 Posts: 1,595 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: can u be born straight... then turn gay?? Well, before puberty hit I never really noticed guys, and i only hung around with girls. Typical kid that i was, i viewed boys as the enemy xD But after puberty, I did date a guy even though i felt no attraction for him. I did it mostly out of a 'thats what girls do, they date boys" kind of mindset.