Something that's recently become more to my attention is how most of the people I know (Including really close friends) all seem to view me as the good girl, the one who's always sensible and wouldn't hurt a fly. Even my boyfriend and another friend said that I don't 'have a dark side' and it really annoys me. They all view me as this delicate flower who wouldn't ever dream of being bad but really, this isn't actually me and it seems like only my best friends can see that. I don't know his to shake this image off because I'm just a nice person, I'm kind to someone if they haven't shown a reason for me not to be. And what's annoying is that a lot of the people who brand me as 'innocent' and sensible etc. Are basically more innocent or sensible than me most of the time and I don't get it. It really annoys me, I want to be seen as a strong independent girl who isn't just good and innocent all the time because I know that's not me, it's kind of this mask on the outside and it seems like close friends still don't seem to see underneath it. Also I get it can be a good thing to be the good girl so please don't give me advice on how I should be glad I'm the good girl because I think most people in my situation will understand how frustrating it is. Like all the guys think they need to stick up for me and do things for me because I'm too weak or incapable of doing it myself and this in a way is making me push my boyfriend away from me because I can't stand him treating me like a delicate flower.
I kind of have this problem as well. It's sort of still ongoing, but only around people who I feel I'm not entirely myself around. I would recommend asking yourself these things: Are you outspoken about things that upset you? Are you honest about your feelings, or do you express them in a more positive light in public? Maybe try to express anger/annoyance more openly, but in a light way that doesn't start conflict. Remember, being a "good girl" isn't actually a bad thing. I know you didn't want to hear that, but it does help with job interviews, getting promoted at jobs, getting teachers to like you, etc. Hopefully this helped!!!
I'm 24, and people still say I'm innocent. They truly don't know me very well, do they? I think what we express to the world is vastly different from how we view ourselves. At work or school, we have to appear professional, so that's the side our coworkers and classmates see for example. I guess the question is, what is your "dark side" that you long to openly express? I think you may just want to be yourself more and feel like you can't be as much as you'd like, so instead people have given you an "innocent" persona in their minds. It seems to me you just want to be treated in a way that's more mature rather than childish, but I could be totally wrong.
You mentioned a few different things. Being the good girl. Being innocent. Being delicate. And that you want people to know you are not delicate and you can be a strong independent person. Any time someone has tried to view me as the helpless girl who needs a big strong man to do things for them, I normally push them aside and show them that I can do it. That I am capable. That's really going to be the only way to break these ideas that people have of you is by challenging them and proving them wrong. The only thing I will warn is that if anger is the force that drives some of these changes, for instance if you normally shrug things off when people do or say mean things, people are going to always link it to something else rather than this is just you. Don't be discouraged by this because in the end, you are the only person that matters and if you know where the changes are coming from and are happy with it, then it really does't matter what others think.
