1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I Need Some Advice

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by justine16, Dec 4, 2016.

  1. justine16

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2015
    Messages:
    104
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Kansas
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    So, basically I've spent the last several months trying to "fix" my sexual orientation and gender identity. I've been going to conversion therapy, and been active in a conservative church environment. At this point I don't want to be out or be apart of the LGBTQ+ community. I just want to be straight, cis, and christian. What should I do?
     
  2. Asking

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2016
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    New York
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Honestly, there's no current way to change it so far as I can see. I'd just try to learn to accept it. And you can still be Christian! Many people go under categories in the Bible. Most of them do what's labeled as wrong consistently. You never know, with what scientists are learning to do nowadays...
     
  3. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey justine16,

    To be honest, there are probably very few, if any, people on this website that would prefer to be cis and heterosexual. Even non-cis and non-heterosexual people can definitely be Christian. Biblical-based phobias against non-heterosexuals are based on HUMAN (mis)interpretations of the Bible. All in the Old Testament, by the way. Jesus, for whom Christianity is named, NEVER said anything against non-heterosexuals.

    Here are a couple of threads on this website that might help:

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/49316-my-advice-about-being-lgbt-christian-very-long.html

    http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexual-romantic-orientation/65350-bible-tells-me-being-gay-wrong-now-i-just-dont-know-what-do.html#post1101418

    Ultimately, though, reparative therapies, whether they are extremely invasive or simply 'pray the gay away' mindgames are harmful and completely unproductive. They have never worked positively. In the end, you are who you are. Your sexuality is what it is. You can't change it and trying to do so is only harmful to you. If you truly 'can't' accept you own sexuality as being other than heterosexual, the best you can do is to remain celibate for the rest of your life.

    Just my thoughts.
     
  4. iiimee

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2014
    Messages:
    51
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    In my imagination.
    I'm sorry Justine, but yeah, you can look at post after post on here and learn that conversion therapy does not work- many have tried, but I have yet to find someone who's went through it who is heterosexual and cis by the end of it. I grew up Eastern Orthodox, so I DEFINITELY know how you feel... but I am happy now where I am, and honestly, I'm glad that I chose to transition. I wish I had been born a guy, but I am much happier aiming to be accepted as a guy than I would be making others happy by "being a girl". If you want to be happy with yourself, then you DO need to accept yourself for who you are. Sure, those people around you will not accept you, but you don't need them! Now, I'm not saying you need to come out immediately or even ever, if you really don't want to, but you may find you change your mind about that, the more you learn to accept yourself... and yes, no matter what you do, you need to accept yourself for the bisexual trans woman you are. EC is a great support site and I hope we can help you, but really, at the end of the day, the only person who can truly help you is yourself.
     
  5. Impa

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2016
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Why do you want to be straight and Christian?
    Like it's been said, it can't be done, it doesn't work. You'll be MUCH happier if you learn to accept yourself. Every story I read about people who tried to deny their true nature, they ended up unhappy and had to accept who they were and come out in the end.
     
  6. dyl pickle

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2016
    Messages:
    311
    Likes Received:
    24
    Location:
    New Jersey
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi Justine,

    I know that many have posted this before me but I just wanted to say that there is no way to convert to a different orientation or identity. You will never be happy if you attempt to do that, so trust me, sticking with who you know you are will make you feel infinitely better about yourself. If this has anything to do with wanting to be Christian/religious - remember you can be LGBTQ+ and religious - it's just not always the easiest thing to do. Please no matter what remember to keep your mental health a priority and make sure that you are never doing yourself more harm than good. Once again, I am not sure if this is mainly about religion but if so, here are some links that have helped me in the past:

    10 Reasons God Loves Gay Christians
    Why Jesus Loves LGBT People and Gay Marriage Doesn't Exist | The Huffington Post
    If you're a gay Christian, does God still love you?


    Please stay safe and know that everyone here is here for you; much love and I hope you find acceptance in yourself soon <3