Open relationships. - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Jennn · 6th Apr 2009, 01:11 PM

So, I was just curious. Has anyone tried one? Does it work? Would you consider trying one? How would you differentiate between the other people you see, and the person you're actually with?

Personally, I've always been curious as to whether it'd fall apart eventually, or whether people would be able to make it work. I think I'd probably try one if it ever came along, but it'd take quite a bit of getting used to.

Absentminded · 6th Apr 2009, 01:12 PM

I want to try one, but everyone I know is opposed to them. I actually did have one, but, she didn't understand what I meant when I said "open". Then she got mad when I told her that I let some other girl hit on me...

Sexiross · 6th Apr 2009, 01:15 PM

unfortunately...i did it....and it hurt soo much...it tore me apart and changed my life in a bIG way...... word to the wise...if you like a guy(or a girl) dont consider open relationships...it will destroy you!!!

Miles D · 6th Apr 2009, 01:19 PM

it doesn't sound like a good idea to me. but then again, it might work for other people.
I guess whatever floats ones boat.

**Lexington** · 6th Apr 2009, 01:22 PM

I PERSONALLY am not interested in an open relationship. But I know several people who are in long-term open relationships, and it works great for them.

Lex

6th Apr 2009, 01:52 PM

I have never been in a serious open relationship....though there was a two week period with my current boyfriend...that really did not work for me! i do know of several gay couples (and a couple straight or bi couples) that have open relationships.
They take a type of care thats different from a monogamous one...but they can work with the right people. Monogamy is the same way; the right people and attention=good relationship
I would try one in the future if i felt like it could work (even for a little bit). It takes a lot of trust, little jealousy, and a great amount of honesty!

epiphanies · 6th Apr 2009, 02:07 PM

I was in an open relationship (aka- friends with benefits) for a couple years with this guy who lived about an hour and a half from me. We did it because we had feelings for each other but we were too far apart to see each other regularly. It crushed me. I wouldn't recommend them. I was also in one last year, and that sucked too. Exclusive relationships are the way to go if you have deep feelings for someone.

KeithJ108 · 6th Apr 2009, 02:26 PM

What's the difference between an open relationship and a

buddy?

Greggers · 6th Apr 2009, 02:30 PM

I could never be in an open relationship personally.

Greggers is a commitment freak. Once i get something, i like to keep it to myself

Dazed · 6th Apr 2009, 02:35 PM

i dont think i would like it too much. id try it though

revolutionrock · 6th Apr 2009, 02:58 PM

I think I'd be terrible in such a relationship. It takes me so long to get connected someone emotionally that it'd probably be pretty devastating to see any kind of romance develop between a lover and his paramour.

I'm pretty skeptical about them in general. I guess it's worked for some people, but I just can't wrap my mind around the idea.

**EM68** · 6th Apr 2009, 03:02 PM

No way! I could not do that.

Thisisnew · 6th Apr 2009, 03:21 PM

I can't do open relationships I wouldnt like it.

6th Apr 2009, 03:27 PM

I would definitely want to try it. It's a hard balancing act though, you have to make sure you don't fall for the other people you sleep with.

6th Apr 2009, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeithJ108

What's the difference between an open relationship and a

buddy?

technically an open relationship means that you are very much a couple (cuddling, pay bills together, go on dates, be involved with the other persons life and issues), except when it comes to sex there are more players and maybe, maybe, a few dates.....though thats generally more polyamory....a

buddy is just someone that you have sex with.

Apocalypte · 6th Apr 2009, 04:13 PM

If it works for someone else - great, it just wouldn't be my thing at all.

littledinosaurs · 6th Apr 2009, 04:17 PM

i always have found it to be an interesting idea
but i think i'd get jealous if they were seeing someone else yet would want the freedom to do what i want so idk if its a good idea for me hahah.

Trystan · 6th Apr 2009, 04:22 PM

hmm seems an unusual idea and in my scepticism, would say no it wouldn't work. And i feel slightly adversely to it... though I wouldn't miss an opportunity if it was presented properly

at least to see what it's like. cos that's what life is for...

BlakeHarmony · 6th Apr 2009, 04:33 PM

I wouldn't be able to be in an open relationship myself, but if it works for others! I'm kinda of the mind that, I'm gay, should I really discriminate against or judge anyone else (unless it's like, a murderer psychopath or something)?

ricoca · 6th Apr 2009, 04:42 PM

I'd try it but I don't think it'll work for me cause I'd be too jealous.

6th Apr 2009, 01:11 PM	#1
Jennn . Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay Out Status: The closet wouldn't take me back if I wanted it to Location: Wolver'ampton. Dreadful place. Age: 21 Posts: 248 Join Date: Mar 2009	Open relationships. So, I was just curious. Has anyone tried one? Does it work? Would you consider trying one? How would you differentiate between the other people you see, and the person you're actually with? Personally, I've always been curious as to whether it'd fall apart eventually, or whether people would be able to make it work. I think I'd probably try one if it ever came along, but it'd take quite a bit of getting used to.

6th Apr 2009, 01:12 PM	#2
Absentminded EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: I'm a ladies kind of guy ;) Out Status: I flirt in public. Take a guess ;) Location: Vermont Age: 19 Posts: 546 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: Open relationships. I want to try one, but everyone I know is opposed to them. I actually did have one, but, she didn't understand what I meant when I said "open". Then she got mad when I told her that I let some other girl hit on me...

6th Apr 2009, 01:15 PM	#3
Sexiross Banned Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but family Location: washington pa Posts: 762 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: Open relationships. unfortunately...i did it....and it hurt soo much...it tore me apart and changed my life in a bIG way...... word to the wise...if you like a guy(or a girl) dont consider open relationships...it will destroy you!!!

6th Apr 2009, 01:19 PM	#4
Miles D Rude... and not ginger. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: queer Out Status: everyone Location: San Diego, CA ⇒ Great Barrington, MA Age: 20 Posts: 1,171 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Open relationships. it doesn't sound like a good idea to me. but then again, it might work for other people. I guess whatever floats ones boat. __________________ Bowties are cool. Fezzes are cool.

6th Apr 2009, 01:22 PM	#5
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Open relationships. I PERSONALLY am not interested in an open relationship. But I know several people who are in long-term open relationships, and it works great for them. Lex

6th Apr 2009, 01:52 PM	#6
greyundrstndng Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Open relationships. I have never been in a serious open relationship....though there was a two week period with my current boyfriend...that really did not work for me! i do know of several gay couples (and a couple straight or bi couples) that have open relationships. They take a type of care thats different from a monogamous one...but they can work with the right people. Monogamy is the same way; the right people and attention=good relationship I would try one in the future if i felt like it could work (even for a little bit). It takes a lot of trust, little jealousy, and a great amount of honesty!

6th Apr 2009, 02:07 PM	#7
epiphanies Well Known Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: More gay than bi Out Status: All important people. Do ask, Do tell. Location: VA Age: 24 Posts: 199 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Open relationships. I was in an open relationship (aka- friends with benefits) for a couple years with this guy who lived about an hour and a half from me. We did it because we had feelings for each other but we were too far apart to see each other regularly. It crushed me. I wouldn't recommend them. I was also in one last year, and that sucked too. Exclusive relationships are the way to go if you have deep feelings for someone.

6th Apr 2009, 02:26 PM	#8
KeithJ108 Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Northern Ireland Age: 25 Posts: 101 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Open relationships. What's the difference between an open relationship and a buddy?

6th Apr 2009, 02:30 PM	#9
Greggers Sunshine & Optimism ...also Angels. Full Member Gender: Theatre Queen Orientation: Disco Sticks Out Status: Everyone and a few more Location: BC, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 3,528 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Open relationships. I could never be in an open relationship personally. Greggers is a commitment freak. Once i get something, i like to keep it to myself __________________ "It's a male duck."

6th Apr 2009, 02:35 PM	#10
Dazed Banned Gender: ladyfella Orientation: MaddyBensexual Out Status: out to all :] Location: Richmond VA Age: 24 Posts: 2,189 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Open relationships. i dont think i would like it too much. id try it though

6th Apr 2009, 02:58 PM	#11
revolutionrock Diggin' the obviousness. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Arizona Age: 21 Posts: 246 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: Open relationships. I think I'd be terrible in such a relationship. It takes me so long to get connected someone emotionally that it'd probably be pretty devastating to see any kind of romance develop between a lover and his paramour. I'm pretty skeptical about them in general. I guess it's worked for some people, but I just can't wrap my mind around the idea.

6th Apr 2009, 03:02 PM	#12
EM68 Happily Married! :) EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out and about. Location: Stoughton, Massachusetts USA Age: 43 Posts: 4,288 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: Open relationships. No way! I could not do that. __________________ I'm beautiful in my way, 'Cause God makes no mistakes I'm on the right track, baby I was Born This Way -Lady Gaga

6th Apr 2009, 03:21 PM	#13
Thisisnew EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: All lesbian all the time!! Out Status: I...I guess it runs in the family! =] Location: NY Age: 20 Posts: 1,302 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: Open relationships. I can't do open relationships I wouldnt like it. __________________ Thank god for ipods and gays!

6th Apr 2009, 03:27 PM	#14
Midnight Angel Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Open relationships. I would definitely want to try it. It's a hard balancing act though, you have to make sure you don't fall for the other people you sleep with.

6th Apr 2009, 04:13 PM	#16
Apocalypte Ytse Jamming. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Dublin, Ireland Age: 27 Posts: 2,217 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Open relationships. If it works for someone else - great, it just wouldn't be my thing at all. __________________ "I like my beer cold...my TV loud...and my homosexuals flaming." - Homer Simpson

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6th Apr 2009, 04:17 PM	#17
littledinosaurs J'essaie de Parler Français! :] Full Member Gender: Garçon Orientation: Bisexuel Location: Nouvelle-Angleterre. Age: 21 Posts: 2,351 Join Date: Sep 2008	Re: Open relationships. i always have found it to be an interesting idea but i think i'd get jealous if they were seeing someone else yet would want the freedom to do what i want so idk if its a good idea for me hahah. __________________ Âllo Là

6th Apr 2009, 04:22 PM	#18
Trystan EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Kinsey 4.7ish Out Status: Anyone who asks ;D Location: Southampton, UK Age: 20 Posts: 528 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Open relationships. hmm seems an unusual idea and in my scepticism, would say no it wouldn't work. And i feel slightly adversely to it... though I wouldn't miss an opportunity if it was presented properly at least to see what it's like. cos that's what life is for... __________________ I'm gay. Damn, now you know. Whatcha gonna do? Stereotype me?

6th Apr 2009, 04:33 PM	#19
BlakeHarmony EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: queer Out Status: friends, parents, sibs, (nearly) anyone who asks Location: Calgary Posts: 895 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: Open relationships. I wouldn't be able to be in an open relationship myself, but if it works for others! I'm kinda of the mind that, I'm gay, should I really discriminate against or judge anyone else (unless it's like, a murderer psychopath or something)? __________________ Let's eat, Grandpa. Let's eat Grandpa. Punctuation saves lives! "I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion" Henry David Thoreau

6th Apr 2009, 04:42 PM	#20
ricoca EC Addict Full Member Location: Los Angeles, CA Age: 20 Posts: 647 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: Open relationships. I'd try it but I don't think it'll work for me cause I'd be too jealous. __________________ i can never fit into any crowd, wanna know why?