Who Agrees With Me. - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

DAMONdisaster · 7th Apr 2009, 12:22 AM

That age is just a number. It does not have anything to do with love. I have feelings for someone that is 21, and Im 15, but these age laws restrict that. The age laws should be in effect for someone that has been convicted of rape, sexual abuse, or child exploitation, etc. But that is a different subject.

But my point is, age is just a number. It should not be in the way of any person's love towards one another.

Sorry if I offend anyone with this post, I just didn't know how to say this.

7th Apr 2009, 12:29 AM

I understand what you are saying age may be a number but he is 21 and that could put him at a greater risk of getting in trouble i suggest that you wait until you reach the age of consent before perusing this any further that is my personal opinion a good way to tell usually with age if to people are less the 3 years apart that's just being on the safe side you can take a look at http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm for more specific information in regards to consent.If he really cared about you he would wait until you are ove age just take it slow everything will work out in the end

.

Greggers · 7th Apr 2009, 12:36 AM

I do believe in these rules, with of course, a few excpetions.

I believe in them because they are not so much about "age" when you think that its only restricting you if your a MINOR. And you are a minor for a reason. That most likely means you are still going through puberty and you are still maturing. A fully mature person who has gone through puberty dating someone who is not is ALOT different than two fully mature people dating.

21 dating a 60 year old? Legal.
15 dating a 21 year old? Not legal.

The first is clearly more of an age gap than the second, yet its legal. Why? Because like you said, age is not a factor. Its aaaaall the other things about beind not-of-age that are the factors.

Just Adam · 7th Apr 2009, 12:42 AM

meh age dont really matter withen reason aslong as your withen a decade id say

DAMONdisaster · 7th Apr 2009, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Adam

meh age dont really matter withen reason aslong as your withen a decade id say

So its okay for me, being born in 1994, to be seeing someone born after 1990?

**Martin** · 7th Apr 2009, 06:20 AM

Sorry, but age is not just a number. Whilst there are people who will be more mature than others at a young age and feel ready for commitments, there are a LOT of others who think they are and would be exploited if laws were not there to protect them. It's impossible to accommodate laws to benefit all types of people, so you will get a few (like yourself) who feel like a victim of the law rather than benefiting from them.

Your argument about it only being an issue if the person has been accused of rape or child exploitation is flawed in the sense that they would be accused of that now with the laws in place. If you were to lift them how would you know who is exploiting young teenagers and who is actually in love?

They are there for a reason, and even now there are people who ignore them and you see some of them being paraded on the news being labelled as a 'paedophile' or another type of undesirable label. If you lift the law on age then you're going to open a massive floodgate and it would cause chaos with things such as media hype, STI's, pregnancy, paedophilia, rape etc amongst other things.

There are people who would exploit you if there was no law on age of consent, and the laws now are there to protect you if somebody was to exploit you. Once you're legal then you can have a relationship with anybody no matter how much older they are, but for now you're still a minor.

xequar · 7th Apr 2009, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DAMONdisaster

That age is just a number. It does not have anything to do with love. I have feelings for someone that is 21, and Im 15, but these age laws restrict that. The age laws should be in effect for someone that has been convicted of rape, sexual abuse, or child exploitation, etc. But that is a different subject.

But my point is, age is just a number. It should not be in the way of any person's love towards one another.

Sorry if I offend anyone with this post, I just didn't know how to say this.

I agree that age is just a number. But, Martin makes some valid points, and I agree with him about Age of Majority and Age of Consent laws. Sure, 18 or 16 or 21 or whatever it is in your jurisdiction is an arbitrary number.

-BUT-

The law cannot account for variances in people. It just can't. A 16-year-old might be more mature than a 21-year-old or even a 31-year-old, but in order for the law to function, it has to contain easily verifiable criteria. Age can be easily verified, so it makes a good standard. Level of maturity is very subjective and hard to verify, so it cannot work as a good standard for law.

What does that mean to you?

As far as I can tell, it sucks for you. Sure, age is just a number once you're past the age of majority. I'm a 27-year-old who's dating a 39-year-old. Age is just a number because we're both past the age of majority. And, although it should be the same for you, alas, it can't be.

MusicIsLife · 7th Apr 2009, 07:37 AM

I disagree. There is a point where age stops mattering, but when you're 15 and the object of your affection is a 21-year-old, thats too much.

Sexiross · 7th Apr 2009, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DAMONdisaster

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Adam

meh age dont really matter withen reason aslong as your withen a decade id say

So its okay for me, being born in 1994, to be seeing someone born after 1990?

DUH...just be careful about how Intimate you get...... its still not legal...but...you cant get into trouble for kissing and hugging and hanging out!.....trust me....ive been down that path

Ty · 7th Apr 2009, 09:10 AM

Good things come to those who wait.

J Schuelke · 7th Apr 2009, 10:10 AM

I partially agree with you. when I first came out I had a strick age limit that I would try to keep and thus far have not been successful. Then I got thinking that it really shouldn't matter about the age, if the two feel the same about each other. Like there is this one guy I know who is interested in me, the only thing is that he is in his 40's. Who am I to judge someone just based on their age, he may be a really nice person and potentially my soul mate. You never know. According to my own set limit, I should not even consider it, but then my morals say give the guy a chance. The worst that could happen is that I get turned down or I am not interested in him. Then I just have an older gay friend to talk to. It's a win/win situation. Love and relationship isn't always by the book.

**Lexington** · 7th Apr 2009, 10:13 AM

So if a 20-year-old and a 10-year-old get into a relationship, and they both say they love each other, then that's OK?

Lex

Just Adam · 7th Apr 2009, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DAMONdisaster

Quote:

Originally Posted by Just Adam

meh age dont really matter withen reason aslong as your withen a decade id say

So its okay for me, being born in 1994, to be seeing someone born after 1990?

aslong as your both legal obviously i wouldent condone underage sex but a relationship pwithout sex till both are able thats ok and my decade rul also goes with the idea of staying able to relate to each other...

Ty · 7th Apr 2009, 12:26 PM

Is morallity subjective, or is it something set in stone? That's what it boils down to, in my opinion.

Just Adam · 7th Apr 2009, 12:28 PM

problem with morality is not the 2 people but also the public whos morality if in conflict to your own can make life horrid outcasting you

Dazed · 7th Apr 2009, 12:38 PM

age shoudnt matter. but if you are still a minor being with someone that is 21 is a bad idea. what would you guys do together? play video games when they arent working or in class?

it seems like a huge age gap to me.

Alex19 · 7th Apr 2009, 12:53 PM

i think it depends how big the age gaps are. i mean lets face it, its easier to get along with and love someone if both of u are in the same generation. if u can pull it off with someone older/younger, go for it. but personality plays a part as well. cant forget that.

7th Apr 2009, 12:22 AM	#1
DAMONdisaster Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Lost Wages, NV (N. Las Vegas) Age: 18 Posts: 85 Join Date: Dec 2008	Who Agrees With Me. That age is just a number. It does not have anything to do with love. I have feelings for someone that is 21, and Im 15, but these age laws restrict that. The age laws should be in effect for someone that has been convicted of rape, sexual abuse, or child exploitation, etc. But that is a different subject. But my point is, age is just a number. It should not be in the way of any person's love towards one another. Sorry if I offend anyone with this post, I just didn't know how to say this.

7th Apr 2009, 12:29 AM	#2
DyingForever Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Who Agrees With Me. I understand what you are saying age may be a number but he is 21 and that could put him at a greater risk of getting in trouble i suggest that you wait until you reach the age of consent before perusing this any further that is my personal opinion a good way to tell usually with age if to people are less the 3 years apart that's just being on the safe side you can take a look at http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm for more specific information in regards to consent.If he really cared about you he would wait until you are ove age just take it slow everything will work out in the end .

7th Apr 2009, 12:36 AM	#3
Greggers Sunshine & Optimism ...also Angels. Full Member Gender: Theatre Queen Orientation: Disco Sticks Out Status: Everyone and a few more Location: BC, Canada Age: 21 Posts: 3,528 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Who Agrees With Me. I do believe in these rules, with of course, a few excpetions. I believe in them because they are not so much about "age" when you think that its only restricting you if your a MINOR. And you are a minor for a reason. That most likely means you are still going through puberty and you are still maturing. A fully mature person who has gone through puberty dating someone who is not is ALOT different than two fully mature people dating. 21 dating a 60 year old? Legal. 15 dating a 21 year old? Not legal. The first is clearly more of an age gap than the second, yet its legal. Why? Because like you said, age is not a factor. Its aaaaall the other things about beind not-of-age that are the factors. __________________ "It's a male duck."

7th Apr 2009, 12:42 AM	#4
Just Adam Just passing through Full Member Gender: Something Orientation: Dunno Out Status: If they ask i will tell them Location: Wherever Age: 23 Posts: 6,002 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: Who Agrees With Me. meh age dont really matter withen reason aslong as your withen a decade id say __________________ There Used To Be A Point Of Things.

7th Apr 2009, 06:20 AM	#6
Martin EC's Red Queen EC Admin Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Merseyside, UK Age: 21 Posts: 8,046 Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: Who Agrees With Me. Sorry, but age is not just a number. Whilst there are people who will be more mature than others at a young age and feel ready for commitments, there are a LOT of others who think they are and would be exploited if laws were not there to protect them. It's impossible to accommodate laws to benefit all types of people, so you will get a few (like yourself) who feel like a victim of the law rather than benefiting from them. Your argument about it only being an issue if the person has been accused of rape or child exploitation is flawed in the sense that they would be accused of that now with the laws in place. If you were to lift them how would you know who is exploiting young teenagers and who is actually in love? They are there for a reason, and even now there are people who ignore them and you see some of them being paraded on the news being labelled as a 'paedophile' or another type of undesirable label. If you lift the law on age then you're going to open a massive floodgate and it would cause chaos with things such as media hype, STI's, pregnancy, paedophilia, rape etc amongst other things. There are people who would exploit you if there was no law on age of consent, and the laws now are there to protect you if somebody was to exploit you. Once you're legal then you can have a relationship with anybody no matter how much older they are, but for now you're still a minor.

7th Apr 2009, 07:37 AM	#8
MusicIsLife EC Addict Full Member Gender: Not even sure anymore. Something in between. Orientation: I like girls :) Out Status: Everyone on orientation 7 people on trans issue. Location: Montréal, QC Age: 23 Posts: 1,595 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Who Agrees With Me. I disagree. There is a point where age stops mattering, but when you're 15 and the object of your affection is a 21-year-old, thats too much.

7th Apr 2009, 09:10 AM	#10
Ty Mints ribbed for her pleasure Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Oxford, t'South, UK Age: 19 Posts: 305 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Who Agrees With Me. Good things come to those who wait. __________________ Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of thorns.

7th Apr 2009, 10:10 AM	#11
J Schuelke Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: My Mom, and most friends Location: wisconsin Age: 23 Posts: 190 Join Date: Apr 2008	Re: Who Agrees With Me. I partially agree with you. when I first came out I had a strick age limit that I would try to keep and thus far have not been successful. Then I got thinking that it really shouldn't matter about the age, if the two feel the same about each other. Like there is this one guy I know who is interested in me, the only thing is that he is in his 40's. Who am I to judge someone just based on their age, he may be a really nice person and potentially my soul mate. You never know. According to my own set limit, I should not even consider it, but then my morals say give the guy a chance. The worst that could happen is that I get turned down or I am not interested in him. Then I just have an older gay friend to talk to. It's a win/win situation. Love and relationship isn't always by the book. __________________ Every day should be gay pride day.

7th Apr 2009, 10:13 AM	#12
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Who Agrees With Me. So if a 20-year-old and a 10-year-old get into a relationship, and they both say they love each other, then that's OK? Lex

7th Apr 2009, 12:26 PM	#14
Ty Mints ribbed for her pleasure Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Oxford, t'South, UK Age: 19 Posts: 305 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Who Agrees With Me. Is morallity subjective, or is it something set in stone? That's what it boils down to, in my opinion. __________________ Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, exhibit number one is what the seraphs, the misinformed, simple, noble-winged seraphs, envied. Look at this tangle of thorns.

7th Apr 2009, 12:28 PM	#15
Just Adam Just passing through Full Member Gender: Something Orientation: Dunno Out Status: If they ask i will tell them Location: Wherever Age: 23 Posts: 6,002 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: Who Agrees With Me. problem with morality is not the 2 people but also the public whos morality if in conflict to your own can make life horrid outcasting you __________________ There Used To Be A Point Of Things.

7th Apr 2009, 12:38 PM	#16
Dazed Banned Gender: ladyfella Orientation: MaddyBensexual Out Status: out to all :] Location: Richmond VA Age: 24 Posts: 2,189 Join Date: Mar 2007	Re: Who Agrees With Me. age shoudnt matter. but if you are still a minor being with someone that is 21 is a bad idea. what would you guys do together? play video games when they arent working or in class? it seems like a huge age gap to me.

7th Apr 2009, 12:53 PM	#17
Alex19 who else but me? Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: homo Out Status: I think everyone knows by now Location: New York Age: 21 Posts: 1,301 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Who Agrees With Me. i think it depends how big the age gaps are. i mean lets face it, its easier to get along with and love someone if both of u are in the same generation. if u can pull it off with someone older/younger, go for it. but personality plays a part as well. cant forget that. __________________ "It's always darkest before dawn."